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Born A Fagg

Updated on October 16, 2015

The Bully Persona.

Born in Seattle WA in 1967, I was completely oblivious to what life had in store for me born with the last name Fagg.

I remember as a child my first experience being bullied while walking home from elementry school in West Seattle. Two older boys stopped me on my way home and grabbed my lunch box to see what they could take. They noticed my name upon opening the lunch box and began calling me by variations of my last name to which I had never heard.

Not really understanding what was going on, and deeply effected by the violation of being robbed, I didn't retain the verbiage , but did carry the fear of being violated.

I have never understood what makes a person want to inflict pain on another person. Is it for personal gain? Personal empowerment of some type? Getting attention?

I'm not so sure the "getting attention" applies for most attacks were when I was most vulnerable and alone. Though, there were usually more than one bully, so it could be the attention or approval from their fellow bully that was the cause?

Could it be passed down from their family, or lack there of?

What ever the cause, it would do our society good to figure out what spawns this type of persona and find ways to focus this energy in more positive expressions.

Being Born A Fagg Is Confrontational

Choosing to walk away to keep my peace. I believe in Grace, and choosing to forgive over retaliation.
Choosing to walk away to keep my peace. I believe in Grace, and choosing to forgive over retaliation.

Names Can Affect Your Employment

Has your name ever affected your employment?

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Names Can Be Emotional

Names can trigger emotions like Love, Hate, Joy, Fear, Disgust, and Disappointment.

For some the realization that Names can spur emotional reactions may bring about healing for some people.

Let's say a name you hear or read about makes you Angry. This is a symptoms of pain or possibly a judgement and an emotional wound.

I believe by acknowledging at the time of realization what is happening, and choosing to set that name free, you can forgive yourself and the object of that name. This simple act of humbling one's ego allows a path to healing and unconditional Love.

You don't think you need to forgive yourself? Why would you need to forgive yourself? That's just plain stupid...ect. You didn't "cause" that person, place, or thing to do, not do, what ever it was that left you with this feeling and emotion of Anger.

That may, or may not be true, but you owe it to yourself to put yourself in the best position for healing. It is my personal experience that healing flows best from Love, and anger is a choice that you made and has no Love in it, so therefore you have separated yourself from Love in the act of being Angry. You, being the only one that can make your choices, can accept the truth of your actions, and humble yourself. It is written that God(Love) resists the proud, but will draw near the humble.

This can only be perceived through experience.

I carried these types of wounds for many years of my life, and upon doing the exercise listed above opened the door to more Love.


My last name is Fagg and brings emotional reactions, some are joyful and some not so much. I choose to be soft and cutely like my big friend here. After all, it is of my opinion that's what a real Fagg is.
My last name is Fagg and brings emotional reactions, some are joyful and some not so much. I choose to be soft and cutely like my big friend here. After all, it is of my opinion that's what a real Fagg is.

Stats About Bullying I Found On The Internet

There wasn't much said about Bullying back in the day I was going to school. It is good to see that this disease is being looked at closer.

Below are a few stats I found on the internet:

Over 3.2 million are victims of bullying each year.
Approximately 160,000 teens skip school every day because of bullying.
17% of American students report being bullied 2 to 3 times a month or more within a school semester.
1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% of the time.

Check out the following site for more stats and information on bullying; Source: https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-bullying

Bullying In The Work Place

Work Place Bullying

The last name Fagg can bring different reactions.

One time when going through the checkout lane at a well known grocery chain, the teller laughed at my name and apologized for me, and stated I should change my name!

What happened was what is called an "Ab Reaction" from the Teller, an emotional childish reaction that superseded the teller's normal communicating filters.

I don't believe it was ever the Teller's intention to abuse anybody when they got to work, but can you imagine how I felt? It had been awhile since I had been confronted with such indignation caused by my name, I never asked for this person's opinion on whether or not to change my name, and found it both hurtful and insulting when it happened.

I chose to not internalize the experience, and simply stated I was born a Fagg and am quite proud of it thank you very much.

I have been coached in some of my jobs to use my middle name "William" for my last name, so as to not offend and or cause the prospect or clients to feel uncomfortable.I have since adopted this advice simply because it's true and good advice.

Would you do the same?

In some places I've been employed, and like most locker rooms, the manager calls their associates simply by their last names, but there always seems to be a bit of a growl when they used mine. Ab Reactions? You tell me.

I found this interesting article on work place bullying at: http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/workplace-bullying.htm

To summarize the article; it's main point is how negative bullying is for the work place, and has some interesting stats to those facts. Stress, anxiety, absenteeism, depression are just a few of the effects of dealing with work place bullies.

I have been bullied at many of my jobs. Some instances had nothing at all to do with my name, and more to do with where I was at economically.

No matter what the Bully's inspiration or motivation is, it's still wrong and should be viewed as a serious character flaw and weakness.

Is Fagg a Good or Bad Last name?

Is having the last name Fagg good or bad?

My personal experience being born a Fagg has been quite the journey thus far. If I were to judge how it has been, good or bad, I would say very good in a terrible and humiliating way.

I like to say I was born a Fagg, and in fact I'm a legally married Fagg. Even as I type this article I'm constantly reminded how confrontational Fagg really is for the spell checker always underlines my name as if it's spelled wrong.

I can relate to Johnny Cash's song "A Boy Named Sue". There is one exception though, I love my dad.

I made the choice for my son's to have there mother's maiden name, hoping they would not have the emotional baggage from public schools and peers that I had to deal with. Instead they all grew up with their own sets of emotional baggage from completely different experiences. You can't say I didn't try.

Comments

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    • PatrickLove profile imageAUTHOR

      Patrick William Fagg 

      4 years ago from Katy Texas

      Life lessons come in all sorts of packages, financial, physiological, location, relationships, religion...and even from a name.

    working

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