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Calling all men - How much would you charge to rent your services?

Updated on August 14, 2016
Austinstar profile image

L. Cargill, B.A., Sam Houston University, Huntsville, TX., has been writing cool and interesting articles for the internet world since 1995.

Business plan summary:

Mr. Rental strives to be a company that hires men between the ages of 21 and 100+ for the purpose of rendering manly type services to single women (or perhaps married women), who, through no fault of their own, wish to rent a man for various purposes that cannot be remedied without the presence of a hired man.

There are thousands, perhaps millions of single women who are or are about to be reduced to the horror and destructive presence of CATS (shudder) simply because they do not have a man around the house for the necessary 2 or 3 hours a week when such manly presence is needed to do the few odd jobs that single women cannot or will not do.

Hot Dates - The Three On The Left or Julia Roberts

Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Julia Roberts, Steven Soderbergh
Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Julia Roberts, Steven Soderbergh | Source

Mr. Hot Date Candidates

  • Mathew McConnaghy
  • Brad Pitt
  • George Clooney
  • Matt Damon
  • Tim McGraw
  • Charlie Sheen
  • Taylor Laughtner
  • Barak Obama

Wanted:

Mr. Rental is seeking men, preferably young, handsome and strong, to perform duties as required by the female of our species. Experience is not required, but having a loving mother that raised you correctly is a plus.

Duties include, but are not limited to:

  • Mr. Sensitive - must have a large shoulder to cry on and be overly sympathetic to phrases like, "My jeans don't fit anymore!" or "My ex is SOOOO stupid!" or "My boss is such a bitch!" and "Will you watch Eat, Pray Love with me?"
  • Mr. Nice Guy - must bring flowers with every assignment and be willing to tidy up the house. Must be willing to cook, clean and take out the garbage without grumbling. Must never utter a single disparaging word. Must always compliment the woman and be willing and able to take her out to dinner or an event. This means that you will have to give up any and all TV shows, including sports like the Super Bowl.
  • Mr. Pretense - Requirements include: fancy dresser, drives a nice clean car, looks like a man that will fit in with the woman's family. This Mr. Rental will be playing the role of a loving boyfriend that may someday pop the question. It is only for show and Mr. Pretense must be willing to answer all questions about becoming a devoted, wealthy and loyal husband "some day". Bonus bucks if the family actually likes you!
  • Mr. Kill a bug - Must have large feet and quick reflexes. Must be available almost instantly whenever a spider, roach or imaginary bug is discovered. Must be willing to console ladies with phobias to insects at all hours of the day and night. It is possible that the hiree will request that you hang around in case another bug decides to wander in. You will be compensated for your time.

Mr. Kill A Bug

Victorian funnel web spider, Eeeeeek!
Victorian funnel web spider, Eeeeeek! | Source

More Men Rental Ideas

Mr. Rental (continued) is seeking men, preferably young, handsome and strong, to perform duties as required by the female of our species. Experience is not required, but having a loving mother that raised you correctly is a plus.

Duties include, but are not limited to:

  • Mr. Repair a leak - When giggling the toilet just doesn't work, a single lady needs to hire a man to repair the thing-a-ma-jig that controls the toilet flushing apparatus. Mr. Repair a leak will obtain more clients and command higher rental fees if he also knows how to change light bulbs, find jewelry that has been dropped down drains or in other inaccessible dark places and knows how to clean an oven.
  • Mr. Car Washer - Ladies cars get dirty and there is only one way to get them thoroughly clean, that's right, hire a man. Men love cars, men love to clean cars. They call it detailing. So if you are detail oriented and like to clean cars, this is the job for you.
  • Mr. Hot Date - No CAT can substitute for this rental. Mr. Hot Date is required to be HOT! Guys that do not resemble George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Dwayne Johnson, Liam Neeson, Josh Duhamel, Orlando Bloom, Jake Gyllenhaal, Bradley Cooper, Robert Downey Jr., Johnny Depp, Sean Connery, (or anyone who has played Agent 007), Michael C. Hall, David Beckham, Gerard Butler, Alex O'Loughlin, Jason Statham, Boris Kodjoe, Jared Leto, Christian Bale, Robert Pattinson, Justin Timberlake, Shemar Moore, Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel, Will Smith, Leonardo DiCaprio or Antonio Banderas need not apply. Must work for tips only!

Mr. Cash Cab Driver

Ben Bailey - Mr. Cab Driver and all around fun guy!
Ben Bailey - Mr. Cab Driver and all around fun guy! | Source

More Rentals Needed:

Mr. Rental is seeking men, preferably young, handsome and strong, to perform duties as required by the female of our species. Experience is not required, but having a loving mother that raised you correctly is a plus.

Duties include, but are not limited to:

  • Mr. Entertainment - Sometimes a lady requires a man for entertainment purposes. Must have an exceedingly gifted sense of humor. Must love women of all ages, shapes, sizes and socio-economic groups. Mr Entertainment will never be subject to layoffs. Work all the hours you can stand.
  • Mr. Massage Therapist - Must be registered and a graduate of a fully qualified school of massage. Must be professional in manner and have the hands of a god. Must be willing to work quietly and adoringly to maintain a lady's sore and tense muscular makeup. Happy endings are negotiable.
  • Mr. Taxi - This rental must be willing to perform personalized taxi services above and beyond what a normal taxi driver is willing to do. You will not only have to carry all heavy items to and from cars, you will be asked to be patient and have an exemplary driving record. You can never scream or have road rage. If so, you will be fired on the spot and will have to pay psychological damages to the woman who is telling you where to go and how to get there. You are also not allowed to get lost or be late.

Now what to charge for Mr. Rental?

Please answer in the comments:

Women : How much would you pay per hour?

Men : How much you charge per hour? Please specify which Mr. Rental you qualify for and why.

Mr. Rental survey...

Which Mr. Rental do you need to hire?

See results

© 2012 Lela

Comments - What's the going rate and need for rent a man?

Submit a Comment

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Hi Cathryn, just contact one of the guys offering their services and remember to tell them to send me my cut of the fee.

    Join hubpages and write a hub about your Mr. Rental experiences :-)

  • profile image

    Cathryn 

    6 years ago

    How do I hire?

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Thanks xstatic! If you've lived in West Texas, I can put you down as an expert scorpion killer. I definitely need one of those! How are you with fleas?

    I hope you are being paid well for your services.

  • xstatic profile image

    Jim Higgins 

    6 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

    This is soooo funny. I am good at killing bugs exuberantly enough to spot the wall. Leaky faucets stop me cold, but I can carry on a pretty good conversation about literary matters and West Texas in the fifties, not to mention the amount of rain in Oregon. Am tall enough to reach things on high shelves, but don't ask me to paint. Probably good for special circumstances only.

    What a great idea you had here for a Hub!

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Yes, My company would pimp out all these guys and I would get a huge cut (for all the overhead you know).

    O O

    l

    \_____/

  • Nell Rose profile image

    Nell Rose 

    6 years ago from England

    How much for all of them?! I am scrabbling about in my purse looking for some money, how do I hire? haha! love it, and the video was hilarious too! votes all the way! Oh and don't forget Ian Somerhalder from the Vampire Diaries! Ummm!

  • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

    Wesman Todd Shaw 

    6 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

    LOL! I'm stuck on my Irish girl...she's not used to snakes for the obvious reasons, so I'm going to play that one UP UP UP!!!!!!!!!!!

  • fpherj48 profile image

    Paula 

    6 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

    OMG...this is so funny....You have a great idea here, Austinstar. A young entrepreneur, I see.

    Would you be the female counterpart to a "pimp?" Really, I hope these men must report to you before and after each appointment....and hand over your share of the money! It's only fair.

    Wesman, you sly little bachelor, must you ALWAYS be singing your mantra as you head for the bedroom. Or is it a flute you play as the trail of ladies follow along behind you??

    Austinstar....don't even think about adding "snake be gone" to the list of services. It will only encourage Wes!!

  • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

    Wesman Todd Shaw 

    6 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

    YEP!!! That and Mr. "snake be gone!" would do well for me!!!!

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    I'm sure you would do well as Mr. Kill-a-bug, Wesman :-)

  • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

    Wesman Todd Shaw 

    6 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

    I don't think I'd be good at that business....I could well be a manslut - but I've gotten older and my tastes and tolerances of some things have changed.

    Still, for the right female and should I be in the right frame of mind...this sort of service could definitely be made available!!! (...but whether or not I'd ever get any takers...is another thing!)

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Wise you are, Danny!

  • DannyStouffer profile image

    DannyStouffer 

    6 years ago

    Awesome concept! Very funny but feasible. I love the outside the box thinking. And your rental equipment maintains themselves or they may not get anymore work. High profit margin business too!

  • neeleshkulkarni profile image

    neeleshkulkarni 

    6 years ago from new delhi

    why are you speaking on behalf of the ugly women? you bob will attend to for free.

    (just buttering the boss ok- nothing personal)

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Thank you, Neelesh!

  • neeleshkulkarni profile image

    neeleshkulkarni 

    6 years ago from new delhi

    are there ugly women? never met one.

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Oh, Bob - Are you saying that it is only ugly women that have to rent a man?

    Neelesh - You work so hard! I'm giving you a raise!

  • diogenes profile image

    diogenes 

    6 years ago from UK and Mexico

    Beautiful women get all this for free

    Bob

  • neeleshkulkarni profile image

    neeleshkulkarni 

    6 years ago from new delhi

    money sent but please make sure that the next assignment (read that as assignation)is not only for killing bugs in the ladies bedroom all night.it can get quite bugging just sitting there killing bugs and hearing madam snore.

    as it is i make no money for all the hard work -half goes to you and half to my wife- i might as well have some fun!

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    I know! We married women are sitting on a Gold Mine! Right?

  • Stephanie Henkel profile image

    Stephanie Henkel 

    6 years ago from USA

    Wow, it sounds like I could rent out hubby for quite a profit! He's really good at killing bugs and repairing leaks! Maybe I could trade some of those services for a Mr. Taxi - mine gets pretty upset when I tell him where to go and how to get there! LOL... Love the hub, and the idea!

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 

    6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    BOB! LOL LOL -- hilarious comments!

    I see a guy who kills bugs is gonna be a hit!!

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Neelesh - Wow, I'm making money already! You can send it to my PayPal account! Your wife gets to keep the other half. I'll have to set you up with another assignment right away!

  • neeleshkulkarni profile image

    neeleshkulkarni 

    6 years ago from new delhi

    listen austin,where do i send the 50%.I am so swamped with work I cannot tell you.I killed 6 bugs at this ladies place last night and when i handed over the 1500 dollars to my wife telling this was my pay for working at the ladies' all night she exclaimed"what an idiot the lady is, based on your usual performance at home i wouldn't pay you 10.what a despo the lady must be" not knowing i had made the amount killing bugs!!!!

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Thoughtforce, if things don't work out in Jamaica, I'll go to Sweden next. Go ahead and get the ball rolling as it were.

    drbj, We are each one side of the same coin I think!

  • drbj profile image

    drbj and sherry 

    6 years ago from south Florida

    Boy, do we have a lot in common, Lela. I'm stuck on Mr. Hot Date, too. Especially if he can morph into Mr. Entertainment, too, if you know what I mean. :)

  • thougtforce profile image

    Christina Lornemark 

    6 years ago from Sweden

    I really think this is a great business idea! In Sweden it would be called household services which is a really good deal. If we buy a service like this from someone, the state pays half the cost! But for now, it is mostly used for services like cleaning, building and such and no one have thought of this type of services. So you should considering to start your business here:)) Or may I steal the idea? But then I will need a few men.....

    Tina

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Well, PC, that's the benefits of being married!

  • Pcunix profile image

    Tony Lawrence 

    6 years ago from SE MA

    Hmm.. and I've been doing all this and more for free for almost 45 years? I'm sending this to my wife!

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    I'm moving to Jamaica then :-)

  • profile image

    diogenes 

    6 years ago

    Why am I reading this!?

    Bob

  • rasta1 profile image

    Marvin Parke 

    6 years ago from Jamaica

    Know I understand why Jamaican men are so popular with American women. We'll do all of this for free and even build a little hut on the beach.

  • Ardie profile image

    Sondra 

    6 years ago from Neverland

    TOO funny! I have a husband and I'd STILL like to rent Mr Kill-a-Bug if I could :D My husband just thinks its funny to watch me freak out over the spider in the corner ahahha Great Hub!!!

  • WD Curry 111 profile image

    WD Curry 111 

    6 years ago from Space Coast

    I'm broke, too.

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    WD, perhaps you should hire Ms. Rental!

  • WD Curry 111 profile image

    WD Curry 111 

    6 years ago from Space Coast

    This is an interesting concept. I am afraid I don't qualify. I am washed up, lazy and my car got repoed.

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Awwww, Chris - a cuddle per day. I'll double your fee to come work for me! You nailed it on the cats thing.

    Sunshine - what a great idea. I wouldn't have to do anything except sell franchises! How much do you think I could get?

    Jennifer - Paris Hilton with a power tool! OMG! I know the feeling. My husband needs Mr. Taxi just to drive him to the car out in the driveway. He gets lost on those circle rounds and definitely will NOT ask for directions.

  • ChrisLincoln profile image

    ChrisLincoln 

    6 years ago from Orange (or Lemon...) County, California

    As a semi-pro househusband I can assure you that there is not enough money on the planet that would have me offer my services...to anyone but She-Who-Is-Adored, that is.

    My going rate is a cuddle per day, which is great and everything, but with tax time fast approaching, I'm a bit worried about how I'm going to pay the government...

    Cats are a bad idea. They are clean. Everything around them is not...

    Chris

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 

    6 years ago from Orlando, FL

    I could see this business plan becoming a franchise very quickly! I voted funny!:)

  • Jennifer Essary profile image

    Jennifer Essary 

    6 years ago from Idaho

    Voted up and awesome! I voted for the Mr. Repair a Leak because my husband is about as handy as Paris Hilton with a power tool.

  • Nikkij504gurl profile image

    Nikki Wicked 

    6 years ago from Louisiana

    ahah I loved this! it was quite entertaining and funny. A few of those was a bit...extreme lol and no one guy could definitely fit all of them there is none that exists! at least not in the real world lol. if only! haha oh and I am a single 24 year old and I already have a cat! Oh no's! lol great hub!

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    I shall have to draw up some kind of working contract.

    You won't even kill scorpions? Creepiest bug on the planet.

  • christopheranton profile image

    Christopher Antony Meade 

    6 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

    I hope no cats or spiders are killed or injured as a result of your very funny article.

    I would like to apply for your agency. It might be a lot of fun, but I won't kill bugs. I like them.

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    The beauty of being a Mr. Rental is that you can pretty much set your own hours and fees. This would be a Temp agency that I would manage, you know, to free up the employees for more important assignments.

    Most bugs I can handle, but I definitely need a rental guy to kill scorpions for me. I HATE scorpions.

  • ThoughtSandwiches profile image

    ThoughtSandwiches 

    6 years ago from Reno, Nevada

    Austinstar...

    As this writing thing does not seem to be paying off like I had planned...you know...with money...I would like to submit an application.

    I think I would do well as Mr. Entertainment or Mr. Massage Guy. Conversely...I would like to HIRE a guy to be Kill a Bug Guy...I hate having to stop a massage to kill a bug. I also hate bugs.

    Awesome article!

    Thomas

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Who voted for "other" and what did you have in mind?

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    But it is an open-ended question asking male readers to give me some idea of what they would charge to perform these services!

    I'm trying to start a new business here. This is called market research. Ok, so I got stuck on the Mr. Hot Date, but really, single women need men to contract for these jobs! If guys can pimp out women, why can't I rent out men? (and get a piece of the action)

  • adrienne2 profile image

    Adrienne F Manson 

    6 years ago from Atlanta

    Hi Austinstar, You really got me by surprise your article took a turn. I thought you were writing about an open-ended question asking a fellow male audience how much they thought their services were worth. Instead you went in a totally different direction. I found it creatively written, and funny also voted funny.

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    How did I forget the cuddling clause? I shall add it post haste.

    Since I'm going to maintain that single women don't want to have to deal with cleaning out the cat litter, er, cleaning up after men - like putting the seat down, picking up undies with skid marks or dealing with spilled beer and food on the sofa, I will insist on hourly fees. We don't want the single ladies to have to deal with the minuses of having a rental man actually over stay his welcome.

  • nityanandagaurang profile image

    nityanandagaurang 

    6 years ago

    very unique and interesting hub austinstar.

  • Marlena Oechsner profile image

    Marlena Oechsner 

    6 years ago from Wisconsin

    Love this! Nice to see you took an idea and ran with it! I will take one of each Mr. Rental, but is there a discount for booking overnight, or is it simply by the hour? Does Mr. Sensitive come with a cuddling clause? Great hub!

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Well, JIAB, looks like we need to go into business. Anyone want to venture capitalize us?

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Neelesh, I am rolling on the floor laughing my butt off! You are hired, my man. I get 50% for being your manager.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 

    6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Yes, this is the best idea ever! I could use Mr. Taxi on Saturday. I need to renew my license, but don't have a car (how ironic!) and the motor vehicle admin office is not in a great location. I need Mr. Taxi to get me there and possibly fight off scary people that may approach me. Voted up and awesome!!!

  • neeleshkulkarni profile image

    neeleshkulkarni 

    6 years ago from new delhi

    a middle aged man, (mature, balanced)

    poet (sensitive)

    theater actor (mr pretence)

    soft spoken (nice guy)

    lover of cleanliness (car washer,house tidier)

    engineer by training (leak fixer -0f taps of course)

    gym toned body ( massagist,hot date)

    good conversationalist ( entertaining)

    owner of a gas station (taxi etc etc)

    and with a sense of humour (level 7 certified)

    is willing to work for a dollar an hour plus 11 per cent service tax,2.3 % transaction tax and 66.33 % non curvy tax.(women with the right curves get all taxes waived)

    HOWEVER

    for risking staying over at the woman's place (and the attendant risks with the wife) the charges will be 250 dollars a bug killed.(if this is all she wants the man to do)

    what a blooody waste of talent!!! this talented man(every woman's dream)goes into a ladies bedroom and all night just sits up killing bugs!!!!!! you will have to pay heavy for that lady.

  • Austinstar profile imageAUTHOR

    Lela 

    6 years ago from Somewhere near the center of Texas

    Ok, why hasn't anyone voted this hub 'funny'? Do y'all think it's a viable business idea?

  • barryrutherford profile image

    Barry Rutherford 

    6 years ago from Queensland Australia

    food for thought !

  • missolive profile image

    Marisa Hammond Olivares 

    6 years ago from Texas

    LOL - this is too funny. My oh my! How does one decide?!

    I think I'll keep my hubby, but it sure is fun to window shop! :)

  • RealHousewife profile image

    Kelly Umphenour 

    6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    I will give ya 2 bucks for the dancing queen in the video! LOL Brilliant hub - you are too much!

    I did vote for the Kill a bug guy - because Dave gets so mad when I make him run upstairs to do that. I can't believe he would expect ME to do that! lol

  • Just Ask Susan profile image

    Susan Zutautas 

    6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    I'll take all of them :)

  • LucidDreams profile image

    LucidDreams 

    6 years ago from St Petersburg, Florida

    When I have the time I would be more then happy to help women out for free....Sometimes it is very nice to just hold a conversation with those of the opposite sex and get to know each other with no strings. Even as in my case, I am already in a committed relationship. It can still be a time for both that is enjoyable and worthwhile!

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