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Don’t Be a By-Stander in Your Own Life

Updated on August 25, 2015

Although none of us like to think of ourselves as by-standers in our own lives, there are few if any of us who can claim not to have spent at least part of our existence drifting from one day and one experience to the next without feeling in full control of where we are going. What sets the truly successful people apart from the rest, however, are having definitive objectives to aim for, step-by-step plans to get them from where they are now to where they want to be and the ability to maintain their focus along the way rather than accepting passively whatever life chooses to throw at them.


Passivity is something which affects people at different levels in life. In some cases it manifests itself on a day-to-day basis in the inability of individuals to say “No” to others or to stand up for their own beliefs, attitudes and opinions. In others, meanwhile, it reflects in longer-term drifting and a lack of planning. Whichever is the case, however, it always leads to feelings of discontent and often to feelings of low self-esteem. Leading a passive existence is also often responsible for two of the saddest words to be uttered when people reach the end of their mortal lives… “I wish…”

However much we might sometimes feel that our destinies lie in the hands of fate, the fact is that relatively little is outside of our own control. Every minute of every day sees us faced with choices which could ultimately change the course of our lives, but all too often we stick with what feels safest and what is known to us rather than take “the road less traveled.” It doesn’t have to be that way though, and huge numbers of people have literally been able to take control of their own lives and turn them around with the help of different types of online coaching.


Online coaches work in a variety of different fields, from personal coaching which can help individuals to identify and deal with the areas of their lives where they would like to achieve greater fulfillment and success, to business coaching, executive coaching and leadership coaching which are aimed specifically at addressing and meeting professional goals. Health coaching is another extremely important area where many people choose to seek help, whether their aims are related to increasing overall fitness or addressing particular physical weaknesses, eating more healthily, losing weight or even learning how to incorporate healthier patterns into their busy lifestyles.


While on the surface of things, all of these different types of online coaching address entirely different needs and objectives, what they all have in common is that they each give those who take part a greater sense of control over their own lives so that they are no longer by-standers in their own lives, but pilots of their own destinies.

If you have had enough of drifting aimlessly through life and not doing or achieving the things that you want to do or achieve, why not consider life coaching, business coaching or health coaching.

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by Julie-Ann Amos, professional writer, and owner of international writing agency www.ExquisiteWriting.com

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    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 

      7 years ago from New York City

      It's definitely not a good thing to stop your motivation due to either losing a job or, because it appears impossible to get one on the web, I myself have recently quit my job to start a web development business & it's extremely tough to make yourself known on the web.

      My tips for folks is to try social networking on the ground, like maybe try meet-up groups. "Meet-Up's" have started up through a cool online site that allows people to locate active Meeting points on the ground for, networking in real life to take place, I'm sure many people know of them, but the more info on it is good.

      I recently done attended a Meetup, and it has initiated a sorta spark in terms of the people I have been able to network with about my current business idea's, and developing projects being worked on.

      Also you can try contacting companies by use of their Human resources department, or direct connection to managers on the ground. I agree with you Julie, standing by just isn't the way to get your life back in order. Awesome hub!

    • FloraBreenRobison profile image

      FloraBreenRobison 

      7 years ago

      I had a horrible time after graduating from university for several years when I didn't know where I was going or what I wanted to do. It was not a matter of blaming others, as Nick suggests. I simply fell apart when I stopped being a full time student and didn't have the structure of a school system. That and the fact that when you are not sure what you wantto do, it is difficult to make any decisions beyond. Hmmm. I wonder what to wear today?

    • ershruti304 profile image

      ershruti304 

      7 years ago from Shimla

      Without any doubt I support your hub. Life is a challenge accept it but on your own terms and conditions. If you cannot govern your life you cannot prove your identity. So for marking your existence all you need to do is to be a ruler of your life.

    • profile image

      Nick Lucas 

      7 years ago

      Very well said. It goes nicely with an article I just wrote where I made the assertion that most of the problems we have are due to a lack of being accountable and simply going through life blaming others. Taking control of our own lives is the key and you made this point very well! TY!

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