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Enduring Silent Treatment at Work - Expectations and Motivation
5. Silent Treatment Workplace Hell
Do you now hate going to your job?
If you are enduring silent treatment/bullying from someone at work to the point of dreading going to work each day, it’s VERY important to work on developing your own positivity to the next level so that, despite all, you actually CAN look forward to going to work. If you and the silent one work alone together maybe you can detract from the negative atmosphere and fill some of the silence with listening (via earphones) to a positive uplifting tape or if you cannot use earphones, then you can still bring to mind positive affirmations or mantras to uplift and sustain you throughout the day. Make a point of listening/affirming at regular intervals, as well as at difficult moments.
Another useful perspective is to use the challenge of silent treatment from your co-worker, colleague or boss as your motivation to work smarter, harder, more diligently or more creatively than ever before. They say the best revenge is to have your oppressor see you do well so why not use the situation as a platform and inspiration to elevate yourself. Also take time to work out what you can learn from the situation you find yourself in and one day you might be somewhat (or even very) thankful for the whole experience.
Through all of this, do try not to let your silent co-worker/colleague/boss diminish your relationships with others at work. Be open, engage in good humoured general banter with others openly at appropriate times. Do not allow silence to steal all your joy.
On an earlier page we related the merits of feeling sorry for a silent treatment co-worker. It is not generally advisable to actually voice to that person (or indeed others) that you feel sorry for them, since this might come over sarcastic or antagonistic. Don’t waste your time in things like this which are negative and could even be thought of as manipulative on your part. Just internally/privately feel sorry for the pathetic person who is in a place where, for no good reason, they cannot or will not be positive, open and giving towards others. Would you want to be like them? Would you want to be in a place where your own self esteem and attitude to life could only be uplifted by making someone else miserable? If the answer is NO, it follows that you have reason to feel pity for them so why not give this type of approach your serious consideration and effort. You might even go so far as pointedly wishing/praying for them to gain the peace of mind, self worth and inner happiness which is a basis for treating others with respect and cordiality.
Managing your own expectations is also about acknowledging that your difficult co-worker is not just going to disappear or change their ways over night. It’s about knowing, believing and trusting that you can cope well with whatever difficulties may arise. It’s about knowing and believing that you cannot and will not allow yourself to be overwhelmed with their negativity, and having the conviction that you can remain calm and even detach when necessary to preserve your own sanity. If you are struggling with acquiring this kind of mindset, the next few pages will be of particular interest.
Remember: Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying that “Adversity is the mother of progress”, so make their silence your springboard.
The link above is for PERSPECTIVE 6. ALSO see below for an overview of a highly rated book which can help you thrive despite workplace difficulties, and a video on workplace bullying.
Becoming Resilient and Stronger in the face of adversity
Happiness at Work: Be Resilient, Motivated, and Successful - No Matter What
If you are facing difficulties at work it’s important to know how to prevent people or situations from stealing your joy in life. This book contains exercises that can help you develop a positive perspective. Author Dr Srikumar Rao can help you enhance your life, both professionally/at work and beyond in your personal life.
If you are feeling stuck, negative or unhappy, this book may well be life changing for you – as it was for a number of people who felt compelled and moved to review the book. Overall this publication has attained 4.6 stars out of 5 as at July 2015. It advises on strategies to increase motivation, release stress, and much more. Some of the principles are related or described from a Bhuddist or Hindu tradition. All in all a thought provoking book which can help you put things in perspective to achieve increased peace of mind and contentment.
Seeking Help in addition to uplifting your emotions around Silent Treatment
Learning how to better cope with silent treatment at work does not mean you have to merely endure it for the longterm. Seek professional advice/legal counsel as necessary.
Helpful Related Links
- Ostracism and Workplace Mistreatment Research and Results
- Study: Office Bullies Create Workplace 'Warzone'
The office might be far from the playground, but itâ€™s not off limits to bullies. From a screaming boss to snubbing colleagues, bullies can create a â€œwar zoneâ€ in the workplace.