Evil Names: Discover the Best; Make Your Own
When it comes to establishing a reputation as an evildoer or villain, branding is key. It may seem like a mundane task when compared to wreaking havoc, however a name can be the difference between your enemies running away in fear and smirking at your lack of impressiveness.
Do you think Atilla the Hun would have been so successful if his name were Atilla the Hunny? Or that Hitler would have made such progress if his name were Princess? No. Of course not. If you're going to make any progress whatsoever, you're going to need a decent name. End of story.
Let's have a look at some of the best evil names out there. From those names, we can select common patterns, and apply those to the development of our own evil handles.
Let the Nefarious Naming Begin!
Top Evil Men's Names (Historical)
- Vlad the Impaler - It's badass and descriptive! Nice!
- Atilla the Hun - Has a lovely ring to it
- Adolf Hitler - His last name is the lovechild of 'hit' and 'hater' - gotta love it.
- Ivan the Terrible - again, wonderfully clear
- Heinrich Himmier - It's hard to make a name as a war criminal these days, seeing as there are so darned many, but this dude had alliteration working in his favor
- Pol Pot - Again, excellent alliteration to make one's name memorable, plus his name rolls of the tongue so easily!
- Nero - You know you've made it when you only need one name to stand out from the crowd
Common Themes Amongst Evil Names
Amgonst the names to the right, you'll find the following common themes:
- Official Titles
- Descriptive Names
- Ironic Names
- Machine / Animal / Plant Names
- Alliterative Names
- Exceedingly Short Names
- Use of "The"
Beyond these themes, I recommend the following heuristics for developing evil names:
- Gender Bending
- Sugary Sweetness
A title such as Colonol, Captain, Doctor, Agent, Lord, or even Mister or Miss will add a wonderful touch to an evil name. Why? These titles add two important elements: mystery and credentials.
As for the mystery: Honorifics and titles often act as a replacement for a first name, hence that handle remains a mystery. The less your enemies know about you, the more disadvantaged (and afraid) they are likely to be.
Titles and honorifics also add an official nature to a name, giving its bearer greater importance even if the origins of any credentials are completely unknown.
Best Evil Women's Names (fictional- the real ones suck. Jeez women, get with it.)
- Catwoman (Batman) - Cats are splendidly evil, and well... if you're a women, why not kust be clear with associating yourself with an evil animal?
- Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest) - Nurses can be just as intimidating as doctors, plus they get to play the sexy angle, should they please
- Poison Ivy (Batman) - Why not name yourself after a poisonous plant?
- The Queen (Snow White and the Seven Dwarves) - Who needs a name when one can simply adopt a title?
- The Wcked Witch of the West (The Wizard of Oz) - Very illustrative; this name is an introduction in and of itself!
Why should others be afraid of you if they have no idea why they should be afraid? Using an illustrative evil name enables you to educate your enemies by simply advertising your name.
If, for example, your evil name is The Eviscerator, people might get the idea that you have a thing for evisceration. No explanation required.
The level of efficiency achieved by this naming heuristic is truly admirable, and of course it goes without saying that evil is all about efficiency.
Names that are slightly humorous and surprising are particularly effective evil names as they carry with them the element of surprise. There is certainly value in an evil name that immediately strikes fear into the hearts of the weak and cowardly, however such clear evil names carry with them one downside: they allow people to mentally prepare themselves for the worst.
By going with a name that lulls people into a false sense of security, or evokes a low level of derision, evil individuals are given the opportunity to catch their enemies with their guard down. That particular advantage is quite worth a few initial snickers!
Best Fictional Evil Names for Men
- Agent Smith (The Matrix) - Oooh, so official!
- Bill the Butcher (Gangs of New York) - Again with the alliteration, plus bonus points for being illustrative!
- Commodus (Gladiator) - The name has a great ring to it, and with the potentially funny connotations (Comfortable! Toilet!), this name has all the more potential to be wonderfully ironic
- Dr. Evil / Octopus / Trolian Soran / Zachary Smith (Austin Powers / Spider Man 2 / Star Trek: Generations / Lost in Space) - Doctors are already scary - add a daunting or unique name to the title and you've got something going!
- Gordon Gekko (Wall Street) - VERY fun to say, and quite catchy
- Jean-Baptiste Zorg (The Fifth Element) - Nothing says salience like a nice combination of the old and the new!
- Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) - Heck, it just sounds evil
- Magneto (X-Men) - Why not just make up an illustrative coinage and turn that into a name?
- Man (Bambi) - Well, can you think of anything less destructive?
- Mr. Blonde / Freeze (Reservoir Dogs / Batman & Robin) - Official, descriptive, catchy
- Riddler (Batman) - It's alluring - one simply wants to know more
- T-100 / TX / HAL 9000 (Terminator films / 2001: A Space Odyssey) - Machines are daunting, f'sho
- The Joker (Batman) - Points for the use of "the" as well as irony and an illustrative title
- Two-Face (Batman) - Have you noticed that Batman villains have awesome names?
- Uber-Morlock (The Time Machine) - Does it get any better than this?
- Xander Drax (The Phantom) - Super fun to say; catchy; unique
- Xenomorph (Alien) - Sounds scary!
Machine, Plant, and Animal Names
If one does not want to use an adapted adjective in one's name, but still wants an evil handle that is effectively descriptive, one can turn to the names of machines, plants, and animals.
Machine-like evil names are wonderful. Why? Machines need not have morals. Machines need not have empathy. And machines do not feel fear, fatigue, or hope. That's badass.
Plant and animal names are fun as they at once describe one's particular skill and aid one in developing a unique persona. Consider using plant / animal evil names to not only develop a reputation, but a color scheme and wardrobe as well!
What good is an evil name if nobody can remember it? Going with a title that is at once fun to say and catchy will give you a much better chance at catching on in the media. One of the easiest ways to develop a catchy evil name is to go with alliteration.
Would Pol Pot or Heinrich Himmier have made such evil legacies if their names were not so catchy? We shall never know, but there is no doubt that their names helped their reputations catch on... at least a little.
Very Short Names
What do people do when they're truly defeated or utterly paralized with fear? They let out a single-syllable cry, wail, or choke.
Why not replicate such utterances with your name? Going with something short allows you to do just that.
Use of "The"
Many, MANY evil people utilize the word "The" within their evil names. "The" is so choice. So very, very choice.
There are two particular structures in which you would employ "The":
- Title The Noun
- The Title / Noun
Note: Should you be incorporating "The" into your evil name, consider augmenting the move by referring to yourself in the third person.
If you are a particularly skilled wordsmith, why not meld two or more words together to create an entirely original evil name? If you are particularly smart and witty, you might even combine different languages, inter-mix common words from wildly different time periods, and do smart things with root words.
Such wordplay might enable you to develop a unique name for yourself that still carries with it an illustrative connotation. In this case, you would be differentiating yourself from other evil personalities while still making your intentions and methods clear.
You may have noticed that there is a dearth of evil names for women. As it happens, many evil women both in fiction and history have decided to go with normal, off-the-rack names.
Perhaps this is because women do not want to appear gimmicky or tacky. That's fair. But perhaps women have stuck with normal female names because the really good evil names just sound masculine.
I propose that evil women simply stop caring about whether or not their names seem feminine. If one's enemies assume one is male because one has a masculine evil name, let them. They will only be all the more surprised to discover an evil female has arrived to vanquish them. And as noted above, the element of surprise is an excellent advantage.
To wrap up the evil name suggestions, I would like to recommend going with the least-evil sounding name possible. This obviously plays up the element of surprise, but it also dials up irony to the highest volume possible, and if there is any kind of irony I love, it's evil irony.
Consider going with an evil name like The Kitten. Or perhaps Cupcake. Or Sprinkles. Or Fluffy. Or Snookems. The very preposterous images these names evoke turn your evil reputation into something even more nightmarish and distorted. Now that's what I'd want from an evil name.
Let's take what we've learned above and apply it to an example. Let's use my name for the sake of simplicity. Some evil names I might adopt therefore could be: Admiral Smith (official title), Simone the Destroyer (descriptive), Cutie Pie (ironic- AND sweet), The Machine (machine name- and an actual nickname of mine), Simone Smith (alliteration... and my name), The Megalomonger (wordplay and the use of "The"), and Sir (short and gender-bending).
You are now perfectly equipped to create an evil name of your own. What is YOUR evil name? Share it in the comments below!!!