How To Make A Million Dollars-Affiliate Marketing Spoof
How To Make A Million Dollars-Step 1
The first thing you are going to want to do on your journey on how to make a million dollars is apply for all the credit cards you can. Its imperitive you have some high limits on these cards as you will be doing a lot of spending. Dont worry though, this spending is a vital part on how to make a million dollars.
Now you have to walk up to your boss and tell him to take a hike because you are about to become an internet millionaire. Make sure you tell him exactly what you think of him and his stupid job. This is a very important step in order to build the confidence. You are calling yourself out by making the commitment to give up a sure paycheck.
Now you are on your way to learning how to make a million dollars. Please do not move forward with these lessons until you finish the previous lesson first. It is of vital importance that you follow each step to the T if you want this to succeed.
How To Make A Million Dollars-Step 2
Now we have to work on your confidence. If you want to learn how to make a million dollars confidence is very important. So how are we going to build your confidence? Great, I thought you would never ask. The only way to build confidence is to live and play the part. Dont worry this wont be a problem because you are going to learn how to make a million dollars. Jeez did you forget that already?
Anyways on the way home you want to trade your car in for something brand new. I dont care what it is as long as it costs around $100 000. Dont worry about the payments because by the time the first payment comes around you will be rolling in dough. On the way home with your new car stop and get a few of those Armani suits made up for you. Make sure they are not off the rack but tailor made. Also pay the extra money to put a rush on them. Now, you will stop at the electronics store and buy the best cell phone they have with the package that costs the most. Lastly while there buy 2 or 3 high end computers and a top of the line laptop.
When you get home call the most expensive contractor over to remodel your office in your home. Tell him there is an extra $25000 in it for him if he gets it done in the next 48 hours.
Now your wife is going to look at you like you have just fallen head first into a vat of liquid crystal meth. However you have to be strong. All you need to tell her is you are about to learn how to make a million dollars. Now you are all set. You just need to get the office finished, get your suits and you are off to the races.
Side Note:If you see your wife walking out with the kids and suitcases just ignore it. Always keep your mind on whats important. Learn how to make a million dollars and she will come running home.
How To Make A Million Dollars-Step 3
Step three in learning how to make a million dollars is going to be a little rough. I promise you that this will be the only rough day there is.
So what is going to make it rough is the fact that you may have to work at the kitchen table today because of the office renovations. Also you may have to work in your pajamas because your suits wont be ready until the evening. The great part is your wife left and took the kids so you will have peace and quiet.
Today is a busy day on your quest on how to make a million dollars. First you need to search such topics as get rich online, make money online, and other stuff like that. You will have a pretty extensive list in front of you. What I want you to do is sign up for every single mailing list that is offered to you.
Ok now that you have signed up to the mailing lists I want you to go to a site called ClickBank and pull out your credit card because you are going to purchase the top 20 products offered in the make money topics. Dont bother reading about them. If they are in the top 20 then you have nothing to worry about. When you are purchasing these make sure you buy every upsell and every one time offer.
Ok, I know its noon and you are thinking this is hard work but Im sorry you do have to put in a little effort for a couple days.
So now out of all those 20 programs you purchased you need to open them all up and only focus on the ones that have a mentoring program or a set up and forget program. You will recognize them immediately because the price will be around $500 to $1000 in each case. You definately want to sign up for these. These are most the reason you will learn how to make a million dollars. Ok, now you are done for today. You should celebrate by going out for some drinks and lobster tails.
Side Note: Dont worry about the programs that you bought and dont have a mentoring program. Most of them should have a money back guarantee. Wait you are learning how to make a million dollars. Ah, just forget them, they are no longer important.
How To Make A Million Dollars-Step 4
Todays a big day in your learn how to make a million dollars career. You have your brand new office set up, you have on one of your new suits and you are ready to go to work. Today shouldnt be a long day. In fact you should be easily done by noon.
Ok remember all those lists you signed up to yesterday? Well you should now have tons of offers to buy the latest, greatest tools in affiliate marketing. I want you to open each one and dont worry about anything except the price.
You see some will be membership sites, some will be tools and some will be software. All that is not important right now. All you really need to do is sign up to everyone that is $1000 or more. Anything less than that just isnt worth it. Trust me there will be plenty starting at the $1000 mark and higher. Of course higher is better. I mean thats just common sense right?
So now that you have signed up for all these programs I think thats enough learning how to make a million dollars for one day.
See I told you today would be an easy day.
Side Note: Tommorrow is the last day in setting up your business and learning how to make a million dollars.
How To Make A Million Dollars-Step 5
Today is a big day for you. You are going to graduate and you will have learned how to make a million dollars.
Today you are going to outsource your work. All you need to do is Google outsource companies and go to the first one you see. Once inside dont worry about terms of service or anything like that. What you want to do is hire the first person on the list.
You will be supplying this person with everything they need. You will pay them up front, you will give them access to every account you signed up to in the last 2 days and you will also be giving them your credit card number for any add-ons that come available.
You dont have to worry about trusting these people. After all they are in an out sourcing company so they can be trusted. They will now be in charge of any details that still need to be taken care of. They will always have your best interest at heart so you have nothing to worry about.
Well I would like to congratulate you. You are now the latest victim, um I mean graduate of how to make a million dollars. There is just one small step left which you can see below.
How To Make A Million Dollars-Last Step
So you have done everything that has been asked of you. Now there is no way anything can go wrong. After all everything you learned was found on the internet and the internet is gospel of course.
So all you have left to do is take a vacation for about 2 weeks. Go enjoy yourself. After all you did learn how to make a million dollars but your not silly enough to think you would have made the money over night. Now you know that would have been a scam.
So here we are. fast forwarde 2 weeks later. You are fresh home from your trip. You cant wait to get to the mail box. You open it up and you cant believe your eyes. It is full of envelopes. You hurriedly take them out but are shocked at what you see. There are final notices, over dues, repossesion notices, divorce papers from your wifes lawyer but the one thing is there are no checks.
You immediately get on the phone to the person who trained you and ask them what the heck is going on. They quickly tell youu this is a rinse and repeat business. All you have to do is start over and everything will work out. Now you are happy again because once again you are going to learn how to make a million dollars.
Is There A Morale To How To Make A Million Dollars
Well people Im sure all of you have figured out this entire hub is full of rubish. I sure hope you enjoyed it though. You know the things in this story arent so far from the truth in many cases. In all honesty the moral is to get your head out of your butt. We see stories and products everyday promising us easy money on the internet.
Im here to tell you that just isnt the case. Can you make money online? Absolutely you can and you can make very good money. However at the end of the day it requires a few things. Those things are a commitment to yourself and your business. It involves patience, hard work and be willing to do what it takes.
At first you can get started for nothing but as you move on and learn there are some things you will want to purchase like domain names, hosting, an autoresponder. However those are real tools of the business. They are tools you will eventually need.
I hope to be able to lead those who are interested on the right path. I will start slowly and try and keep things simple. I will try and keep it ABC to start. Hopefully when we are done you to will have learned how to make a million dollars. LOL
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