ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Business and Employment»
  • Advertising

How to Buy Culture on eBay

Updated on October 29, 2011

Fresh Hot Culture for sale

Modern humans no longer need venture into a museum or opera house to achieve culture. Numerous online sources offer copious volumes of experiences and products virtually guaranteed to pump up the cultural quotient of any Internet surfer. We have evaluated appropriate auctions provided through herein we present a sampling of popular opportunities. Whip out your credit card, open a free eBay account, and begin bidding.

Do you crave a tad more culture? Do clerks laugh at you behind your back when you stride confidently into McDonald's and mispronounce "Egg McMuffin"? Do you have trouble following Oprah's train of thought? We're here to help. Our highbrow products are virtually guaranteed to pump up your social standing.

Bid on a hoodie

Cultural hoodies replace tuxedos and top hats as the apparel of choice for upwardly mobile would-be derelicts. People will stride confidently away from you when they see you garbed in an oversize sweatshirt with integrated hood. Our next president will probably be inaugurated in such fashion.

Adidas makes them. Do you need to know more? We didn't think so. No other sports apparel manufacturer typifies cultural stereotypes in a more cultural way. Not even Nike and Reebok put together rival the societal archetypes put forth by Adidas.

Look for models that include clashing colors in the liner and the outer shell. Chicks love that.

Bid on Culture Jeans

Nothing screams intense culture more than squeezing into a pair of blue jeans and strutting the red carpet to attend opening night at the Opera. Picture yourself on the cover of a highly accepted haute couture magazine such as People or Rolling Stone or Gold Miner's Monthly.

Jeans keep your skin safe when culture dangerously wanes, like in K-Mart. Take yourself anywhere and never give a second thought to your social standing.

Bid on Culture Swim Suits

Nothing bellows culture to your immediate surroundings more loudly than a swim suit. Trips to the beach or the hot springs are much more rewarding when you dress appropriately. If the pool empties out when you put a toe in the water, give a care to how you clothe yourself: everyone is judging you and your bathing suit.

No one wants to be seen in the water with un-cultured swimmers. Shop carefully for special swim suits on eBay options. Wield your account carefully: you must choose, but choose wisely.

Bid on Culture Sweaters

When your evening wear is at the dry-cleaner, whip out a culturally correct sweater to top off your ensemble. White is good, gray is great, black is the new navy blue. Everyone looks good in a sweater, but not the same sweater because that would be one really big sweater.

You can go fishing in a sweater or sashay through the grocery store to pick up some Pringles. An evening at the ballet never goes wrong when you're swathed in a sweater. Cultural indices shoot up when the front row of a bowling tournament features sweater-clad screaming fans.

Bid on Culture Shirts

Buttons on a shirt tell the world that you're too cultured to use a zipper. You could pick out a sweater and quickly pull it over your head, but instead you elect to spend a few extra moments each morning manipulating buttons down your front.

People will notice that you're willing to go the extra mile to look fashionable. You will get invited to places that hoodie-wearing socialites rarely ever see.

Sleeves matter also. A shirt with buttons and sleeves virtually qualifies you to run for mayor. Don't leave home without a culturally significant shirt.

Bid on Culture Footwear

Your feet do so much for you. Provide them with a modicum of culture before they up and walk away. How could you glide elegantly from the carry out window to the picnic table without your culturally-significant feet?

Look to eBay for footwear engineered to make your feet feel like they are on top of the world, figuratively. Bid on ultra-stylish contrivances with built-in fashion and culture. Your feet will feel wonderful about each other.

Bid on Culture Books

Books persist, despite alarming proliferation of digital media. iPads and iPods and smart phones and electronic storage devices offer little in the way of culture: we still need our books to neutralize Lady Gaga remixes. A book you can hold in your hand trumps sharing ear buds with a stranger on the bus.

Cultural storehouses, books are. Books about culture, doubly so. Order up a tome discussing Roman architecture or the wit and wisdom of Winston Churchill. Bid on pages of poetry so obtuse that they can't help but be cultural. A book will never let you down.

Bid on eBay

eBay is a wondrous place in cyberspace. A veritable plethora of auctions populate every corner of fashion. Cultural apparel is offered regularly, but don't miss out.

Check our selection every day. Auctions end quickly. Someone else may purchase culture intended for you. Don't be left with second-hand culture when the world has so much to offer.

Trends change, but eBay keeps up. These products may look like junque to you, but tomorrow our selection will be new and fresh all over again. Keep shopping and have fun!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Derdriu 6 years ago

      Nicomp: Your clever, flowing, hilarious, rapid writing style is such a word-turner. You had me belly laughing from the title to the last word.

      Thank you for sharing your unique ways of observing and writing.

      Voted up, etc.,


    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @drbj: My only culture is in my morning yogurt.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      I can always use more kulture, nicomp, thanks for showcasing this veritable plethora of amazing kultured items.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: ""

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)