I Would Make a Terrible Flight Attendant
This" is not a photo of me
I love and appreciate the “Equal Opportunity Employment” law. Thanks to the Federal Government, anyone from any race, ethnic background, political affiliation or sexual origin, can apply for any job or any position and be interviewed for the job that is available.
My parents told me tales of a time in our country when women were not only forbidden to vote, but to work. I am so glad that I didn’t grow up in that era.
The Equal Opportunity Employment law did away with the ugly act of discrimination in the job market and voting booths. Personally I fear that we have allowed ourselves to take these wonderful, liberating laws for granted. I hope not. For I know people in 2014 who want to work, and for some reason, they are always turned away for some reason. And this is in my hometown. I can only give credit to discrimination’s first-cousin, “politics,” for this injustice.
I am not able to pose like this
I would forget who gets the ham and who gets the fish
But did you know that even if “I” had such a desire to be a flight attendant, there is nothing that any government on any level can do to stop me? I mean if working for an airline in this capacity was my dream, I would be allowed to pursue it to fulfillment or failure. You see. Freedom doesn’t guarantee us any measure of personal success. It simply means we are free to pursue and work for personal success.
I really do not want to be a flight attendant, although the airline industry has both male and female attendants. I know in my heart that I would fail miserably at this position. Just one look at me and you would see why I would fail. I do not “look” the part of a hot, desirable flight attendant.
That is just one reason. Here are more reasons why . . .
“I Would Make a Terrible Flight Attendant”:
Time to eat, ladies and gentlemen
Here are more photos of flight attendants
1.) I do not look good in stylish skirts, heels and pantssuits.
2.) The hours are murder--not your typical 9 to 5 gig.
3.) I do not have the patience to endure unruly kids, grumpty customers, and flirty airline pilots.
4.) I would get nauseated at being so high and panic for flight attendants do not vomit.
5.) The other flight attendants would be jealous of my long eyelashes and get me fired.
6.) I would be beaten-up by the co-pilot's jealous wife for an alleged affair.
7.) I cannot think that fast on my feet so I might give a Catholic flyer an order of fish on Friday by mistake.
8.) My voice is not soft enough to make irritable flyers at ease.
9.) My hips are not small enough for walking seductively like some flight attendants do.
10.) I refuse to wear a blond wig.
11.) Being away from home so much, I would be home sick.
12.) I am not suitable for work on night flights for I am prone to get very sleepy.
13.) And if there were trouble with the plane, I would definitely go into a panic mode and jump without a chute.
14.) I am way too over-weight for being an acceptable flight attendant.
Here is how an exchange with a customer might go:
Customer: Oh, mister, I need a Scotch on the rocks, please.
Me: Sorry, sir. We do not have any rocks on this flight.