My new past-time: Information hoarding
It seems that I've become a hoarder of information. I've been stashing it on the Internet in my word docs, my Google docs, and my email docs; as well as on little bits of paper all over the house. I suddenly became aware of this after I found out a couple of weeks ago that I will not be moving to Austin any time soon.
While I was figuring out a way to wrap up the contract to sell my business and my property, get it signed, pack all my stuff and get out of town, I stopped writing. Well, not completely......but just about. My brain didn't stop coming up with things to write about though.
That's why the stashing began. I really didn't have time to sit down and organize my thoughts, so I started writing down bits and pieces...sometimes single words, sometimes sentences, mostly incomplete and dangling all over the place.
And now that all that busy stuff has come to a halt, my head is bursting with ideas to write about....but I'm still not writing. I just keep storing all those ideas away. I'm reading more and surfing the Internet more, commenting, and writing little squibs here and there, but not really creating anything of length or of consequence.
No. I'm not depressed, nor am I sad or angry. It's just that, there is so much "stuff" up there in my head all crammed together that it's having a hard time getting out....sort of like constipation. Can one have a constipated brain?
Well, no matter. There are a lot of things I want to say about my experiences with Kari over the past eight months, but I am still sorting them out; still trying to figure out how I feel about them and how I can make sense of them so that writing about them doesn't come across all jumbled up and impossible to comprehend. Most of you have kept up with what has been going onduring this time. At least you know that Kari (my housekeeper and assistant) and her husband were planning to buy my bed and breakfast, business and property. Well, as it happens, they were not able to come up with all the money and so the deal dissolved ....no big surprise there.
Somewhere, in my psyche, bells were going off the whole time we were negotiating. I had plenty of reason to doubt that the deal would ever come to fruition but, cock-eyed optimist that I am, I went alongwith it, thinking it would eventually work out. Actually, more than optimism, I think it was the strong desire to get out of a business that has become too strenuous for me to handle at my age that has kept me believing or at least hoping that it would happen. Anyhow, it didn't and now I'm back to "going with the flow" again. I have put my house up for sale again and am working with a great realtor friend of mine to make a sale as soon as possible in this crazy economy.
I really do not have a lot of anger towards Kari, as I know how much she wanted this and how hard she and her husband worked to make it happen. They even sold their house. She is still working for me, but has given her notice in order to take a full time job so that they can save some money and put their lives back together. They have been staying with friends and family for the past few weeks. All of their belongings are in storage, so their family of four (they have two young boys) has been in upheaval. She has promised to stay with me, until I find another assistant, and train them.
I was disappointed, yes, but life goes on and as I said I've decided to just with the flow. I think my daughter (in Austin) was more upset than I was. My head is now back on my business in Louisville instead of hanging out in Austin. I know I will eventually get there. But for now, I simply have to delay the inevitable. It'll be hard on me physically but, if I get a good assistant I'll be just fine.