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When the job hunter becomes the hunted

Updated on March 4, 2013

The 7 signs of an apocalyptic interview

Anyone who has been looking for employment, can't help but get excited when they finally land an interview. No longer are they just a piece of paper, but a real person. Before jumping in, make sure that you are not taking a swim with some sharks. There are some shady companies out there that make tons of money by convincing you that you can be a millionaire. That if you just follow the yellow brick road, you will fulfill your dreams. Below are seven indicators that this opportunity you are being fed is really just a rat trap.

Want some cheese?
Want some cheese? | Source

We found your resume on the internet

These famous first words are spoken by recruiters who are generally just trying to get butts in the seats. It doesn't matter what you do or did, these folks are trying to fill a room with prospects to pitch whatever product they want you to sell for them. Why? It's a numbers game, and they only need ten percent drink the Kool Aid.Tomorrow it's just rinse and repeat. They may even go as far as to tell you that you will be a corporate trainer or management trainee. Still not convinced to run? Fine, let's check out the interview.

I was just like you

If the fact that this is a group interview and there are 19 other prospects who are getting hit with the same message as you is not enough, then wait until the wizard steps on stage to beguile you with his magic tricks. He was just like you, struggling to make ends meat, working a job he despised and then he had an epiphany when he was introduced to this amazing product and presto change-o, he was a success. Unless you have been swept away into the realm of magical thinking, this is the time to get up and get out the door, before it's too late.

It's like a triangle

This isn't about you selling, but you convincing others to sell for you, so they do all the work and you reap all the rewards. Since most people are already aware of the pyramid scheme, they have started to call it other things like a team and you are the captain. Whatever it's called, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, no matter how you dress it, it's not a pig.

You would be perfect for this

After the cattle call interview, everyone gets separated to meet with a recruiter. Here is when they distinguish you from the herd because let's face it not everyone has the extraordinary talents and abilities you do. Not everyone has a pulse like you do. This is the person who takes the time to stroke you and learn somethings about you. Seems perfectly innocuous, but what they are doing is finding your motivations, so that when it comes to the hard sell, they know which buttons to push.

Do it for your family, do it for the glory

Now it is time for the wizard to perform his greatest trick yet. He can turn you into him. Skeptical? Don't you want what's best for your family? Don't they deserve nice things? Are you afraid of success? You can make that happen by just signing here and following these simple steps to wealth and independence. Sounds great, but if it sounds too good to be true then it most likely is.

Make a list of friends and family

Now we get to what they want. While this will be "your list", it will still have to be turned in with your completed application. So not only have you fed yourself to the sharks, but you are also inviting them to go to dinner at your friends house.

There are just a couple fees

This way, if you are a complete failure, they at the very least got something out of you. The last thing they want is to leave empty handed. People look for employment to get paid, not the other way around. If they are asking for you to pay to get hired, then they must not think too highly of your chances of success.

There's always cheese in the trap

Being unemployed is tough and it can lead to some very desperate thoughts, but you do not want to get into a situation where you spend money, betray friends and family and after the smoke clears, you're still unemployed.


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