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Life Coaching Eby Way

Updated on April 4, 2017

Weeping Willow Cherry Tree

The Eby Way Process

I believe there are positive solutions to all life challenges. The question is how do I get the word out to so many who are suffering?

As a retired social worker with forty years of professional experience, I’ve learned a few ways to help others engage in positive life change. Unfortunately, I realize that personal and social change is difficult. Too many of us avoid our problems or refuse to ask for help to resolve them.

It’s almost like there is a battle going on inside of us between our so-called positive side and negative side. For example, the positive voice within can calmly affirm, “You can make healthier choices; follow your bliss.” Then for some inexplicable and mysterious reason, negative self-talk takes over with, “You’re going to fail again; life sucks; you don’t need anybody’s help.”

Can you relate to this struggle? Frankly I don’t really know the solution. How’s that for “Life Coaching Eby Way?”

But let me share with you some of the things I do when I’m feeling stuck or out of balance. I also understand that what works for me may not work for you. I do believe that in your mind and heart, there is a strong intuitive awareness of the power of making more positive choices. Whatever is going on, don’t give up. Feel free to reach out for help. You can even talk to me about it.

In some of my prior articles, I have mentioned the process of Stop and Think. Just try these steps:

#1. Take several deep breaths. Let the air out slowly.

#2. Say a positive thought over and over like, “I deserve to have a better life today.”

#3. Hold to a positive image. Take a mental time out: picture going to the beach, Hawaii, the mountains, a lake or stream, whatever soothes and comforts.

#4. Then try your best to reach out and communicate with a positive person.

You could also check out my emotional healing formula: face stressful feelings (vent); use positive thoughts to manage them; take positive action steps to solve the problem; hold to a positive belief system.

Of course, I can’t say enough about the power of prayer and meditation. But do these skills work for you? Along these lines, I recently completed some reiki tummo training. Here's a little exercise for you to try out this type of spiritual counseling:

Sit in a chair; close your eyes; relax. Place your hand over your heart-center. Take in a few deep and cleansing breaths. Now, think of a happy memory, a pleasant experience that made you feel good about yourself. Focus on this memory. Enjoy the sweetness of it. Relax deeper; smile; surrender to the positive energy your special memory triggers. Slowly come back to your surroundings. How do you feel now?

Wherever you are, whatever you do, try to shine a light on the inner darkness. For me, I love to take a walk in our backyard garden.

It begins with a strip of green grass about 6 feet wide and 30 feet long. Then after the grass, we placed a stretch of small, multicolored, river bed rocks in an area about 8 feet wide by 50 feet long. Next, we planted a weeping willow cherry tree on one end of our yard by our 6 foot cedar fence. We followed the tree with four planter boxes, each 4x6 feet, in a horizontal line spaced with round bushes in between. At the other end of the garden we planted another weeping willow.

I love to look at the pink, orange, yellow, and red azaleas in the center of the planter boxes, surrounded by st. john’s wort, white candy tufts, and purple petunias. Behind the planter boxes and our fence, I always enjoy the view of our huge, orange berm covered with what I call grassy waves of wind-blown green. And on the horizon, looms ponderosa pines and madrone trees encircled by our peaceful and majestic mountain peaks.

I choose to lay my troubles down in this garden of dazzling color and serenity. I invite you to find your own garden. Spend some quiet time there; let go of the negative self-talk for awhile. And repeat with me, “There are positive solutions to all problems!”

Peace, Light, Aloha.

Eby Way Self-Help Book


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    • addingsense profile image

      Akhil S Kumar 5 years ago from kerala

      thank you very much. namasthe

    • Born2care2001 profile image

      Rev Bruce S Noll HMN 5 years ago from Asheville NC

      Hi Gary!

      I enjoyed your hub and your tips. I envy the garden walks you must have. I can imagine the peace it must provide for you.

      The power of self talk is an incredible force and I agree with you that it requires a great deal of work.

      Thanks again!

      Peace be with you


    • qlcoach profile image

      Gary Eby 5 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

      addingsense: Thank you for your comment. I'm following you now and visiting your hubs. Namaste.....Gary

    • addingsense profile image

      Akhil S Kumar 5 years ago from kerala