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Marketing the National Football League

Updated on February 20, 2011

Marketing the National Football League

Welcome to the first week of the National Football League season. I'm Lance Goodhair. With me here in the booth to being you every exciting play all year long is former all-star and Hall of Famer Chip Ferocity.

Thanks, Lance. Today's match up features the San Francisco Frito's against the Cleveland Clorox.

It sure does, Chip. Nothing gets by you.

Thanks Lance, the opening kickoff is brought to you by the instep of the Clorox's place kicker. His entire foot is sponsored by Dr. Scholl's foot powder. His surgically repaired right knee is brought to you by Larry's Ligaments.

The Frito's are looking at a rapidly closing window of opportunity to make the playoffs. Their star quarterback and also their team psychiatrist have announced impending retirements at the end of this season.

Fans, if your windows won't close, call the Acme Window Company for quick and economical service.

And here's the kick... it's caught at the Macy's 5 yard-line and carried up the left side where the ball carrier is tackled out of bounds at the IBM 25.

Folks, if you need to go the left, remember to support your National Communist Party for all your leftist needs.

Here's the first play from scrimmage... a quarterback dive that nets only a few yards.

This quarterback dive brought to you by Denny's Restaurants.

It's second down at the Toyota 27 yard-line. Here's a hand-off to the fullback, no it's a fake, the quarterback keeps the ball and sprints out to his left where he's tackled for a loss on the IBM 25 yard line.That play fooled a few defenders, but a look at the replay indicates what actually happened.

That misdirection play was brought to you by the 9-11 Truthers.


Folks, we are tied at 42-42 after 60 Timex minutes of play. We're lookin' at overtime, folks. The first team to score wins the game.

This sudden-death overtime is brought to you by the Estate of Michael Jackson.


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    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Still floundering. Sigh again!

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      I thought this was pretty funny. Sigh!

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Very good!

    • profile image

      Adam 8 years ago

      And now a word from our sponsors... that break was brought to you by Maco....