Minnesota Musing: Advertising According to Gender - Ads in a Car Magazine
The Shop or Man Cave
Hot Rods - or Great Project Cars
It all started today during the 'blizzard of the century' that I drove home from work in.
I'm a brave person, apparently.
Anyways, this isn't about me. I'm just going to write your ear off or at least try.
The Man Cave A.K.A. The Shop
Yes. I humbled myself and entered the Kingdom of car parts today. I was looking about the shop. The shop is what they call it when they want you to know what they are talking about. The other building on our property that contains a room for the cars, is affectionately called the garage.
Do not confuse the two rooms. The garage is not supposed to be used for projects. It is for some shelf storage and for parking the car. The shop, on the other hand, is for working on projects that require tools or welding or cutting.
There Could be More Tools
There's always room for more tools. Tools are handy.
Anyway. I picked up a copy of a magazine that was propped up in the toolbox. I opened it up. I have a habit of opening the back page and reading it first. Must be from all the years of reading Harlequin Romance Novels, where you open the back page and you read what ended up happening to the people written about in the book.
This magazine was somewhat the same: the last page in the magazine has a picture of a beautiful red car with the lower driving lights illuminated. There are five cars pictured below this car. Apparently, if you are a car person, you understand that the pictures are those of the cars that were "The Cars" of the 1980's decade.
Cars like the Camaro, Firebird, Nova, Chevrolet and the Chevy/GMC Truck.
I Had a 1979 Pontiac Firebird
It wasn't remarkable. It was long, sleek and yellow. It had a comfortable black interior. Vinyl probably. It was powerful. If you weren't careful when you turned a corner in town in the rain, you'd whip around in a circle.
Yes. It was a fun car. We had it for years until we had our first child, then we gave it up for a four door sensible car that we could get the car seats into the back seat without throwing out our backs.
Back to the Magazine
Paging backwards, in my usual style, I see another picture of a car. It appears to be a Stingray. Those Corvette's were always a cool car to see. My brother and sister have owned many of them. My brother wasn't allowed to own a vehicle, so he bought it and parked it a few blocks away from the house.
Three Pages from the Back Cover
Okay. So, I turned the next page. Was expecting to see some sort of classified advertisements for car parts. NOPE. In this book of Hot Rod's, there was an advertisement for pills to make it uncomfortable for men to zip their trousers up. Apparently, once you take these pills, you're screwed. Literally.
Well. You might be. You might hope so. Whether it happens or not, is a matter of time. Hope the customers weren't disappointed. Throws a WHOLE new light on customer SERVICE. Doesn't it?
Now I'm Dying to Know - Is Size a Real Issue
I'm curious to know how many advertisements there really are in this zine. I'm curious to know how desperate guys are for male enhancements. Really? Are they really that hopeless?
Oooh. Two ads for FDA approved medications. A huge ad for male parts. A teeny weeny ad for car parts.
Huh. That's backwards, isn't it. There should really be teeny weenie ads for male enhancements, after all, isn't that what they are trying to fix?
[this is where we laugh together....]
It's not a size issue, it's a density issue.
The Ads Appeal to Their Drive
There are choice words in the ads. Keywords like Ride. thinner and smaller for easier mounting. Touch screens. Handheld models.
That's interesting. Hand held models. Yeah. I'm sure that is a popular ad. Built-in performance. Nut repair.... Oh, and the importance of better stopping. Yep. I've known a few that promised to stop, but did not.
Ah, yes. The Hot Heads that are on the Hemi's. Very important pieces to consider.