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My Wife is Seeing Someone Else...and His Name is Yardsellr!

Updated on August 26, 2013
My Wife's First Sale on Yardsellr! 1996 Seymour Mann Hummingbird & Flowers Collector Bell by Mario Bernini
My Wife's First Sale on Yardsellr! 1996 Seymour Mann Hummingbird & Flowers Collector Bell by Mario Bernini | Source

The Slippery Slope

It was inevitable.

I've lived long enough to know that it's a cardinal sin for a man to neglect his wife.

I never meant for it to happen. Honest! It all began with my earnest and diligent efforts to make a positive difference by expanding my eBay business and forging multiple income streams through venues such as HubPages. My sincere motivation was to improve our lot in life as well as to invest in what could hopefully mature into future residual income.

That's what a man does for his wife and family, right?

The harder I worked, the more brownie points I thought I was getting from my wife.

But in hindsight, it's a real kick in the pants to wake up one morning and realize that moderation in any endeavor is crucial to a strong and healthy relationship.

Truth be told, eBay and HubPages were my alluring sirens, and I fell prey to their charms. It was I who succumbed to the temptation of being more attentive to these seductive entities than to my wife.

I blame myself for what happened...

The Other Man

If I were half my age, there'd be no doubt about it. I'd go over and sock him in his eye.

But time and age do have a mellowing effect on a man. So I'm opting to approach a healthy resolution to this dilemma in a matured and civilized manner.

Via communication.

And then, if that doesn't work, I'll punch him in the eye.

What Happened?

I get so busy with my work--answering customers' questions; listing items; monitoring new activity; printing shipping labels; packaging goods; writing follow-up emails.

And then there's my writing pursuits on HubPages. I'm really beginning to flow with the creative juices and starting to adapt comfortably into this amazing writer's lifestyle of constantly nagging ideas flowing through my brain, the stress of deadlines to meet, and the endless sparring with writer's blocks and distractions. And why in the world would I put myself through all of that?

Because, at the end of the day, there's this overwhelming sense of accomplishment and self-worth and the cushiony, comfy awareness that my words have formed suspension bridges connecting me with others.

Does ego play into this? Of course! But in a good way. No writer worth his salt is purely motivated by altruism. Borne on the wings of a basic human need to belong, writing for me is like my toddler activity of tossing pebbles into a Hawaiian pond so that I could watch the ever-expanding circular ripples kiss the bank on the opposite side.

Seven months ago, I wrote my first article for HubPages because I was curious to see if I could cut the mustard.

Today, I'm simultaneously writing five articles as I face a deadline whose bell will toll in precisely 21 hours. Shoot! I have less time than Keifer Sutherland's former TV alter ego to get this job done.

It was in the midst of this bittersweet insanity--overflowing with good intentions--that my wife of thirty years, my best friend for five years longer, my parental partner for 26 years, and my empty nest syndrome co-tenant for the last six weeks did the unthinkable.

She stepped out on me.

Honey, We Gotta Talk!

"Not now, sweetie. I'm trying to list this Baum Brothers ceramic vase."

"Hmm... you really like this Yardsellr, don't you?"

"Oh, yeah! I love it!"

"What does Yardsellr give you that I can't, honey?"

"Silly! Don't interrupt me...I have to concentrate on my listing."

"I'll let you list on eBay, honey. You'll do better there!"

"Are you kidding me? I wouldn't trade Yardsellr for the world!"

"Yeah. Yardsellr's cool and everything, but no competition for eBay."

"Hmmph...and while you're up to your neck in eBay and PayPal fees, I made my very first sale on Yardsellr today, and the only thing I have to pay for is shipping...and that's already absorbed into the price of the item. My profit will be greater than what it would have been on your precious eBay!"

(Long silence...)

"Honey, I'm very happy that you made your first sale today! That's fantastic! Anything I can do to help?"

"Thank you! Yes, you can help me with the packaging and the shipping label, just like I've helped you all these months with the picture taking and the completed sales research for items similar to what you're selling."

"Okay...and after you finish with what you're doing, can we have some dinner?"

"Go ahead and put something together. I've got several listings to post."

"Oh, okay...would you like to watch Criminal Minds with me later?"

"Um, sorry...I wanted to study up on the Yardsellr FAQ's. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure, maybe tomorrow."

"And, honey?"

"Yes, dear?"

"While I'm up here with Yardsellr, could you please do the dishes?"

"Sure thing, honey...love you!"

"Love you, too."

No Problemo!

Yep. Nothing like good old communication to get the job done.

A man's gotta know how to secure his marriage. In this day and age, you just never know when some young Ricky Suave type is on the prowl for his next cougar conquest!

Like that punk, Yardsellr...who does he think he is, anyway? Guess I showed him!

Epilogue and Update

Yardsellr came up missing one day.

Yours truly was called in by the local authorities, in conjunction with law enforcement agents from California, and heavily barraged with questions. It seems, apparently, that I was on a short list of individuals with possible motives for facilitating the demise of Yardsellr.

Fortunately, Yardsellr showed up one day to pack up its unused advertising gimmicks--T-shirts, mugs, balloons, stationery...the whole nine yards.

Mrs. Hawaiian Odysseus has come to her senses and has even jumped on the eBay bandwagon. She opened up her own account and is doing quite well, thank you.

In fact, the only thing I'm concerned about these days is how she's showing me up on my favorite online site.

Leaving me chewing the proverbial cud while pondering the wisdom of--

Be careful what you ask for!




Comments

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  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Thelma!

    I am Filipino/Hawaiian/Okinawan married to a German. LOL! I'm grateful to have made your acquaintance. I look forward to future exchanges with you. Aloha, and God Bless!

    Joe

  • Thelma Alberts profile image

    Thelma Alberts 4 years ago from Germany

    Hahahaha! This is really so funny. I enjoyed reading your story. Thanks for sharing this. Have a nice day!

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Wow! My very first commentator from the United Arab Emirates! HubPages is indeed a global community, and I welcome and thank you, marieryan, for stopping by to share a kind thought with me today. I am glad to make your acquaintance, and I wish you the very best. I'm humorously happy to report that Yardsellr is no longer a threat to either eBay or me. Its founders decided to pull the plug on it last year and move on to another venture. Aloha!

    Joe

  • marieryan profile image

    Marie Ryan 4 years ago from Andalusia, Spain

    Thanks for a very entertaining hub...

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    @rajan jolly

    You are very welcome. I am thankful to report...that my wife returned to me...and eBay! : )

    A Hub report on this is forthcoming...

  • rajan jolly profile image

    Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

    Great fun reading this bro. Thanks my friend.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 4 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    So cool, how we writers on HubPages can connect on different levels via our respective stories, articles, and poetry. Thank you for such wonderful reinforcement and the kind of support that fellow literary artists (always searching for writer synonyms) understand and appreciate.

  • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

    Susan Haze 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

    I love your story. I am still laughing. I can see my usband and myself in the story. Up and funny.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    @jantamaya

    Hi, Maria! Thank you for gracing my hub from across the pond. Wow, what an impressive profile you have! All that traveling and life experiences are now the pallet from which you paint the hubs that we, in turn, are blessed to read.

    I've been through a lot in my life, but the most challenging odyssey I've ever experienced--and continue to maneuver through like a trailblazer cutting his way through a dense jungle with a machete--is marriage. : )

    Thanks for reminding me that every blessed union has its special challenges. It was fun writing this hub, and it was a privilege and a pleasure to make your acquaintance as a sweet consequence. Aloha, Maria!

  • jantamaya profile image

    Maria Janta-Cooper 5 years ago from UK

    My husband and I, we are much worse. We fight who is allowed to wash the dishes, to dry the dishes, to cook the dinner and to prepare the breakfast. Really, we fight for it who will do it! It's a pity, most of the time he wins. He is bigger and I can't get through to the dishes. He won't allow me to damage my skin on my hands... Awful! I love to do all those things! Instead, I'm sitting on the computer and play with the HubPages! That's life! I liked your hub very much! Voted up and shared.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Ah, the behind-the-scenes lives of us hubbers....and the sacrifices and accommodations our spouses have to make. : ) Thank you for your humorous and supportive comments, moonlake. It's good to share in each other's experiences by way of our hubs and accompanying comments. Happy Holidays to you and yours!

  • moonlake profile image

    moonlake 5 years ago from America

    Enjoyed your hub very funny. My husband always has to wait for me to take pictures of our food before he can eat. He's always helping me in the kitchen and sometimes he messes up my food pictures. I know he gets sick of me saying "don't touch that."

    Voted up on your hub.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    @CrisSp

    Okay, so one of the ways I assert myself with the friendly, professional, and ever so vigilant flight attendants is to ask for the full can of pop along with the plastic cup of ice. I figure, if I had to shell out big bucks or use up a whole bunch of miles to pay for this flight, by George, I'm going to get me a full can of Coke Zero.

    So far, none of the FA's have denied my request. But someday, I might just have an encounter with a certain Filipino-Chinese beauty...and if SHE happens to say, "No way, Jose!" why, then, I'll just have to pull out my HubPages merit badge. LOL!

    Aloha!

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    @benisan85475

    Eh, howzit, Ka'imi'loa! It's starting to get colder over here during the night. How about Arizona? How does the climate there compare to the climate in Hawai'i?

    My wife and I are going to the Tri-Cities later this morning (I had to check the time, and sure enough, it's already after midnight) to do some thrift store treasure-hunting. The Tri-Cities (Kennewick, Pasco, Richland) is about 40-50 miles northwest of Walla Walla and is the last big town region before crossing the Cascade Mountains and ending up in the Seattle area.

    For Black Friday this year, I'll be with my sister folks in Forest Grove, OR, and hopefully, Dad and his wife will be there, too. I've never gone shopping on Black Friday, so this should be an adventure.

    But not as big an adventure as doing the Hawaiian Food Network Mother of All Hubs with you!

    Love you, bruddah! Set another plate of loco moco...I'll be right over!

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, ignugent17!

    Thank you so much for reading my Hub and for your comment. How have you been? I am so inspired by your prolific writing and wonderful accomplishments as a member of HubPages. You must have such great discipline and an organized writing schedule.

    Is there a favorite time of day and setting for your writing endeavors? I look forward to learning more from and with you as the time goes by on this incredibly wonderful literary site. Aloha!

  • profile image

    ignugent17 5 years ago

    You really are a good story teller. I enjoyed reading your hub!

    Voted up and funny! :-)

  • CrisSp profile image

    CrisSp 5 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

    Laughing like a silly mama here while reading your hub. This is fun, very entertaining hub! I love your twists of hilarity in your most romantic ways.

    Way to go hawaiianodysseus! Up and all plus sharing!

  • benisan85745 profile image

    Ka'imi'loa 5 years ago from Tucson, AZ.

    His name is cool, he is hip and young...and on top of that, he's allowing her to make a profit. OH! The shame...not to mention that she is snapping fingers for you to shush in your own home so she could concentrate on what "he" has to say. Mmm...Mmm...Mmm!

    I feel for you Uncle, but hey, I'd like to cheer you up but your a** has dishes to do...

    Another sign that the apocolypse is upon us...

    Ka'imi'loa

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Dane!

    You're the really cool guy with the terrific and funny video on YouTube, right? I had my wife watch that to learn how to sell on Yardsellr, and that's what got her going. I had a lot of fun writing the Hub. Every night when I'm doing my accounting, listing, and packaging for my eBay stuff, I look over about twenty-five feet to my left, and she's busy listing on Yardsellr.

    Thanks for the invite, but I'm already a Yardsellr myself (College Place block is where you'll find both my wife and me). I love it! I don't understand all that's involved with the promotional stuff, but I've managed to score about 23 sales April. I happen to belong to the school of thought that Yardsellr and eBay are complements of each other rather than rivals at each other's throats. Competition is good, and that's why I love selling on and writing about both.

    There's this dude from YS who contacts me every now and then to assess where I'm at and hopefully help me get to the next level, but I can never seem to coincide my schedule with his. If you know who I'm talking about, tell him I said "hi" and not to give up on me. I'm always game for learning.

    Yardsellr staff, you guys and gals rock! I would love to meet you someday if you ever decide to have a convention and I can make enough eBay and Yardsellr sales to finance the trip. I'll bring my empty nest date--my wife! And, no worries, my tongue was truly embedded in cheek when I wrote the Hub!

    LOL! Aloha, and have a great weekend!

  • DaneOfYardsellr profile image

    DaneOfYardsellr 5 years ago

    This post had made as all shed a smile. It also put us in a bit of fear that someone will be knocking on our door looking to sock us in the eye. Which makes me regret opting for Beginning Bowling and not Beginning Boxing in college.

    We are more of the helpful neighbor yet handsome neighbor more than the Ricky Suave on a Cougar Conquest. But, I can't speak for the whole company as their lives outside the office is their own.

    This post really was a great read and I may be checking in the future for further posts you write.

    Oh and what the heck! Try us out already, cross the street and join our Yard Sale. We're already neighbors. (shoot me an email if you want to dane@yardsellr.com)

    http://yardsellr.com/block/island-livin

    -Dane

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    @carol7777

    Hi, Carol! How are you? Thanks for stopping by. Guess you know a little bit about Hub Challenges...anyway, I was really rummy by the time the 10th day of the challenge came, and I still had FOUR Hubs to write. The stress of it all just made me loopy, and it came out in my writing. As I look back on the last ten days, though, the experience was a blast. I'm glad I got it done, but I'm so happy it's over with...until the next craving starts, of course. Ha ha!

    Thank you for stopping by! Have a wonderful Friday and weekend!

  • carol7777 profile image

    carol stanley 5 years ago from Arizona

    This was just fun. We all have special addictions. thanks for this today.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    @UMHiram

    Your name is Unique!

    And all this time, I thought you were paying me a compliment at the end of your comment. Ha ha! I know, I'm a little slow. : )

    Thanks for stopping by. My tongue was firmly embedded in cheek when I wrote this one, but it certainly is nice to look twenty-five feet to my left most evenings and see her at our desktop doing her thing on Yardsellr. Since we now have an empty nest, going to thrift stores and yard sales with her is like going on cool dates! We have a lot of fun, and I thank God for such a wonderful way to spend the autumn and winter of our lives together.

    It's really nice to make your acquaintance!

  • UMHiram profile image

    Unique Hiram 5 years ago from Midwest

    Hawaii,

    This Hub was fun and entertaining ... love it.

    Unique

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Help! I'm drowning in Hub sweat!

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thanks, Chris! And if your ears are burning, let them burn for three more hours until you get your three Hubs done. It's two minutes of midnight, and I just finished my 4th Hub of the day!

    Now I can rest!

    After you pau write your third of three Hubs, you can read my tribute to you.

    Aloha, bruddah, and thanks for all the support, encouragement, and help! You are one of the best writers out there!

  • profile image

    chrisinhawaii 5 years ago

    Yardsellr, huh? He sounds like a chump. I bet you could take him with your hands tied behind your keyboard.

    Okay, gotta go. I got 3 hours to write 3 hubs...it can be done.

    Voted up and shared =)

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thanks, Georgie!

    Yes, I'm in the midst of the last four Hubs with just hours left before Cinderella dashes off for home. But I'm at peace with the stress. Thanks for the kind thoughts. See you when I come up for air! : )

  • Georgie Lowery profile image

    Georgianna Lowery 5 years ago from Lubbock, TX

    You mighta shown him, but you're the one that had to do the dishes! Ha! You're awesome. Good luck with the remaining Hubs in your challenge! :)

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Thanks, wetnosedogs! Good morning to you in Bear Bryant state!

    My "office" where I do the brunt of my laptop work is in an upstairs bedroom. Looking directly to my left, I see my wife at the desktop computer in the evenings diligently listing her Yardsellr items.

    One night, just a couple of days ago, I looked at her and prayed that she would have her first sale. Hours later, when she asked me to look at something, we were reviewing her 20+ items when all of a sudden, we both were shocked and excited to see that she'd sold the hummingbird bell. Now THAT was an answer to prayer.

    Thanks for your kind and thoughtful words. See you around the corner at the Hubsville malt shop. Bring Roscoe; I'll bring Kona, our cat.

  • hawaiianodysseus profile image
    Author

    Hawaiian Odysseus 5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

    Hi, Karen!

    Right you are...this is crunch day, and I am up bright and early...um, scratch bright, make that early...and I'm off to the races. In the meantime, there's a huge church rummage sale going on...and since it's only Wednesday, well, it's the only real happening in town (in regards to things of that nature), so I'll be going to that one. I have essentially put eBay on a bit of a hold while I finish out my Hubs homework...yes, I used the dreaded "h" word. Ha ha!

    See you at the finish line...where the rest of you will have already been waiting for hours and sipping some of that delicious Connecticut lemonade!

  • Karen Hellier profile image

    Karen Hellier 5 years ago from Georgia

    hawaiianodysseus,

    You are SOOO funny! Great hub that made me laugh. You must be pounding away at the keyboard writing another hub as I type these words. Great job...and you're almost done! Voted up, funny and interesting. Do you think Yardsellr is better than Ebay?

  • wetnosedogs profile image

    wetnosedogs 5 years ago from Alabama

    Aw, now you know your wife loves you more than Yardsellr! Congratulations to your wife for making that first sell. She will likely get hooked now.

    Great fun hub.