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- Employment & Jobs
It seems that corporate lackey S. Miles Budden is quite nervous, and for an apparent host of good reasons — let us consult the employee manual:
- The prevailing herringbone pattern of middle-management executives at Creative Conformance is to be top-to-bottom, not side-to-side.
- Bowties are to stretch broader than the span of the exposed shirtfront, and are to be black dots on white, not white dots on black.
- Noses are mandatory.
- Hair is to be parted slight-right, rather than slight-left.
- Executive footwear shall not be hemispherical in profile, but ovoid.
- Acute-angle shoulder-padding is frowned upon.
- Coattails are unacceptable unless forked or vented.
- Where shirt-button plackets appear, they shall be ruffled.
- An ingratiating lean shall be a minimum 18 degrees from the vertical, towards the superior party.
- One’s grin should not extend past one’s cheek-blushes.
- Projectile sweat shall be limited to no more than 4 radiating droplets at any one time.
I see a pink slip coming . . .