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Nervous Lackey

Updated on August 26, 2010
Nervous Lackey, rickzimmerman 2010
Nervous Lackey, rickzimmerman 2010

It seems that corporate lackey S. Miles Budden is quite nervous, and for an apparent host of good reasons — let us consult the employee manual:

  1. The prevailing herringbone pattern of middle-management executives at Creative Conformance is to be top-to-bottom, not side-to-side.
  2. Bowties are to stretch broader than the span of the exposed shirtfront, and are to be black dots on white, not white dots on black.
  3. Noses are mandatory.
  4. Hair is to be parted slight-right, rather than slight-left.
  5. Executive footwear shall not be hemispherical in profile, but ovoid.
  6. Acute-angle shoulder-padding is frowned upon.
  7. Coattails are unacceptable unless forked or vented.
  8. Where shirt-button plackets appear, they shall be ruffled.
  9. An ingratiating lean shall be a minimum 18 degrees from the vertical, towards the superior party.
  10. One’s grin should not extend past one’s cheek-blushes.
  11. Projectile sweat shall be limited to no more than 4 radiating droplets at any one time.

 I see a pink slip coming . . .

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    • profile image

      Sabafragen 6 years ago

      good idea and description :-)

    • rickzimmerman profile image
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      rickzimmerman 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Thanks, Sabina!

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