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I Can Find You A Job

Updated on November 8, 2015

Half a Trillion

There is a movie with Harrison Ford wherein Ford's character tries to buy a helicopter. How much does it cost, asks Ford.

$20 million, the man replies.

Suppose I just wanted to rent it, Ford's character asks.

$20 million says the man with the helicopter.

No matter what question president Barack Hussein Obama is asked, his answer always seems to be about a half trillion dollars.

How much did he cut medicare to fund Obamacare: $500 Billion.

How much is Obama's jobs bill? About $500 billion.

For anyone who is not paying careful attention, it is likely that when a politician of either stripe says $500 billion, he is trying to avoid the "T" word. They know the taxpayers get nervous when they start talking about spending a trillion dollars.

Training


One of the best way to get training is to enlist in the the military. They will pay you while they train you.

To find employers who will pay you to train concentrate your job search on "entry level" and "trainee jobs".


The cheapest place to train is usually community colleges so start there in your search for training. If you do wind up going to a vocational school, make sure it's licensed to operate in your state and that it has national accreditation.


Networking

Imagine printing up business cards that have your basic skills and your phone number and the fact that you are avilable for work.

Imagine giving those business cards to everyone you have ever known in your entire life. Moreover, imagine giving each of those people ten additional business cards and telling them to give them to everyone they know.

That's networking in a nutshell. The particulars on how you do it are up to you. The experts say that it's all about handshakes and eye contact and certainly those can't hurt. But if one of your buddies is in mainland China, it might be better to just send an email.

Closer to home but still hundreds of miles distant and maybe a phone call would do the trick.

Let people know that you'd love to find a job and you would appreciate it if they told you about any job they happen to hear about.

Moving


Moving is the secret to finding a job in a tough economy.

No jobs in your field? Move to another field.

No jobs in your town? Move to another town.

There are jobs that you can do somewhere. You may have to make some changes to get at those jobs.

Economic Diversity

There is a reason why the unemployed do not need to go into a corner and die or wait for government help--whichever comes first. The reason is we have diversity!

If there are no jobs in your field then there are jobs in other fields. If there are no jobs in your city then there are jobs in other cities.

We benefit from the fact that the United States is not a centrally planned Soviet style economy. The fact that different business, cities, states and regions follow different economic models means that to get to different economic situation all you have to do is to either change jobs, or cities or both.

Job Search


If you google "job search engines" with the quotes included you will get over a million hits. That means there are in practical terms, an unlimited number of differernt ways you can search for job.

There are job search engines that only show jobs in foreign countries for those who want to work outside the US.

There are seasonal job search engines and job search engines for people who only want to work in forests. There are search engines that have a preference for IT jobs or nursing jobs or just about any specialty you can think of.

For ordinary mortals there are two general classes of job search engines. There are the meta job search engines and smaller, more specific search engines. For a person who has been unemployed for some time, the meta job search engines like www.indeed.com might be best. A metra engine takes jobs from all the little sites and conglomerates them so you can see them all in one place.

In you are looking for specific jobs in a specific field then a search engine tailored to you is probably your best fit. For instance, IT folks and engineers should use DICE,

If you want to work with a generic, medium sized job search engine, Monster is a pretty good bet.

Speaking of Monster, lets do a general experiment. Let's look for green jobs on Monster. For instance let's look at all the jobs in the country that contain the word "solar" and all the jobs that contain "wind".

Solar 98 jobs

Wind 24 jobs

Given that there are millions of unemployed people, and those are jobs in the country as a whole, we would die of starvation before getting one of those jobs.

Let's looks at jobs you should be trying for

sales 1000+

manager 1000+

From the prespective of the person looking for a job, these results mean there are unlmited numbers for sales and management.

So If you never want to get a job ever, go into green energy.

If you want an inteview in the next 7 days, apply for sales and management jobs.

For those of you playing the home version of the Let's Get a Job game, this means that politicians who speak of a green job economy are either disingenous or ignorant. Yes. That's right. Vote for disingenous or ignorant!!!


Dirty Jobs


If you are willing to do the jobs nobody else wants, you will never be unemployed:

Dairy Farm Worker

Head Lice Inspector

Window Washer for the 13th Floor

Dirty Diaper Duty

Sky Walker on the High Iron

Septic Tank Technician

Sewer Dude

Roustabout

Meter Reader

Slaughterhouse Slasher

Rat Patrol (with real rats)



Hard To Fill Jobs

If the only one looking for the job is you, you will never be unemployed.

IT worker

Salesman

Truck Driver

Machinists and other skilled tradesmen

Bean Counter

Teachers

Secretaries

Clerk Typists

File clerks

Drivers

Managers



Jobs Going Begging


Most of the time it's skills mismatch. Get down to your local community college or vocational training program and ask them about grants, loans, scholarships, and any other program that will get you trained. Try writing to employers that have jobs going begging and tell them that if they will finance your training, you will work for them.

Estimated 400,000 IT Jobs going begging

American Banker estimates 1 million jobs going begging world wide

China often needs people to teach English

Plastic Industry needs skilled, trained workers

CNC and Welding jobs are going begging

Health, Computers, Life Sciences have more jobs than skilled people to fill them




Since the government may not come to your rescue, is it possible to get your friends and relatives to lend you money for the training? Tell them you will pay it back when you get the job. In the mean time, could parents who attend training at different times volunteer to babysit for one another? Just in case the government does not come in on a white horse dispensing cash, could we do some of this ourselves?


By the way, the government does come in on white horse dispensing cash if you are a friend of the Obama administration, an illegal alien, or the same bankers and stock brokers who bankrupted the entire planet and then demanded a bailout.

Sometimes the government gives cash to bankrupt green energy companies that don't produce green energy.

As for main street, to paraphrase an old Seinfeld charcter: No cash for you! They already wasted $4 trillion on all that other stuff. They are tapped out and flat broke. Those thieving Wall Street Criminals suck up the money like it's going out of style.

Just think how different things might have been if instead of shovel ready payoffs and political bribes, the first stimulus went to train 3 million people for the 3 million jobs that some estimate are going begging. But that ship has sailed along with the AAA credit rating the US government used to have. Well at least Obama has given foreign criminals 100% employment.




Underwater Mortgage Swap

It's too bad that the federal government and those thieving criminals on Wall Street can't do something useful for people who are underwater in their mortgage and who therefore can't move to where the jobs are.

Imagine if there were two different people in two different states who were both underwater in their mortgages. Imagine if both these Joes were jobless in their present state but could easily find a job in their field in the other state.

Wow, wouldn't it be nice if there was some kind of credit default swap, but in this case, not a bad thing like betting a government will not pay its debt, but a good thing like these two Joes trade houses and get work!

There are many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, too many, many, many, many reasons why this would never work.

Look at differences in standards of living. Imagine the the Joe in California has a million dollar house while the Joe in Kentucky has a $100,000 house. It would never work. Unless those incompetent government boobs and those Wall Street Thieves did some useful creative accounting and pronounced it all good, contingent on employer offer letters for each of the prospective employees. If each could handle the payments in his new settings because of the change in his pay rate was commensurate to his new cost of living, no worries?

Yes, it is a flight of financial fantasy. The little guy did not get screwed so IT CAN'T HAPPEN!!!


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