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Personality Fun and Winning People Over to Your Way of Thinking

Updated on August 23, 2011

Personality fun can be derived from quizzing yourself with the multitude of free personality tests that are sprinkled throughout the internet. It was exactly the phrase Florence Littauer had in mind when she wrote the book "Personality Plus". That book has provided people with endless hours of fun with thought provoking conversation involving friends, relatives and acquaintances. Another popular book provided successful sales people, entrepreneurs and mentors with the skills that they use today to win people over to their way of thinking. Of course, the book is "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. This book has generated the second highest number of sales in the history of literature directly behind "the Bible".

Personality Plus discusses a mixture of four unique personality types that every person embodies: Choleric "the do-er", Melancholy "the thinker", Sanguine "the party-er" and Phlegmatic "the peace maker".. A Choleric likes it "my way", a Melancholy likes it "the right way", a Sanguine likes it "the fun way", and a Phlegmatic likes it "any way". Most people have a combination of these four personality types where one or two of them are more dominant.

In "How to Win Friends and Influence People" there is a chapter called "How to Win People to your way of Thinking". The principles in this chapter have been used by many ambassadors and statesmen. They are also used by successful businessmen, entrepreneurs and mentors. What is it, that most of the successful entrepreneurs and mentors, such as motivational speakers Tony Robbins and George Foreman possess that most of us lack? This invisible personal asset drives them to unlimited wealth and success, while it holds many of us back. The answer:They have learned to develop a balance of the four personality types, whereas most of us are being dragged down by the negatives associated with a dominating personality type. Successful entrepreneurs need to be thinkers(Melancholy), competitive(Choleric) and friendly(Sanguine) in putting together and accomplishing their business plans. They all use the principles discussed below on a daily basis. Within these principles one personality type stands out, that works best when Dealing With Other People. The amazing part is that this "personality type" is the least likely (when it is dominant) of the four personality types to generate a successful business. It is the "Phlegmatic", who has commonly been known as The Introvert The Watcher The Pessimist.

These principles have been used by every successful person that has built a large business, like the Waltons (Wal-Mart), Ray Kroc (McDonalds), Dave Thomas (Wendy's) and George Foreman (the Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine or the George Foreman Grill). When dealing with people, these leaders have quietly but emphatically used every principle to their advantage. In today's economy, many of us need to follow this type of success thinking in order to gain a competitive advantage.

The phrase "personality fun" can also be used to define the mixture of the four distinct personality types needed to put these principle's to work in developing your own success story.

Here are the Principles:

Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it (Phlegmatic)

You can never win an argument, because if you lose it, you lose it and if you win it you lose it . If you triumph over another person and shoot their argument full of holes and prove them to be "an idiot", You will feel fine. The problem is you have made the other person feel inferior and hurt their pride. They will resent your triumph. "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still"

Principle 2: Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're Wrong" (Phlegmatic)

Two thousand years ago Jesus said: "Agree with thine adversary quickly" . Many years before that a king of Egypt told his son "Be diplomatic, It will help you gain your point. " It is every important not to argue with your customer, your spouse or your adversary. Don't tell them they are wrong or get them riled up. Use some diplomacy. Remember the saying, "the customer is always right"

Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. (Sanguine)

When we are right, let's try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking. When we are wrong, which will be surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves, let's admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm. Not only will that technique produce amazing results, you will feel much better about yourself. Under the circumstances, it's a lot more fun than trying to defend yourself. There is an old proverb that says "By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected"

Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way (Sanguine)

Over 150 years ago Lincoln said, " a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall" "So with men, if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend"

Principle 5: Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately (Sanguine)

Socrates never told people they were wrong. His whole technique, now called the Socratic method" was based upon getting a "yes, yes" response. He asked questions with which his opponent would have to agree. He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses. He kept on asking questions until finally, almost without realizing it, his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they would have bitterly denied a few minutes earlier.

Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking (Phlegmatic)

There is one universal truth about every human being. It is human nature that our favorite subject is ourselves. By far the most enjoyable moments for us are when we catch the ear of someone who "actually cares" about our experiences and interests. The more often that person listens to us, the more we associate them as our friend. By becoming a listener, you will make many friends, and more people will trust you.

Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. (Phlegmatic)

This principle will always strengthen a relationship. In the long run, you are looking for cooperation. Where the idea came from is not important, and arguing over ownership will diminish your energy.

Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view (Phlegmatic)

Dean Donham formerly of the Harvard business school once said, "I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person's office for two hours before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person-from my knowledge of his or her interests or motives-was likely to answer"

Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires (Phlegmatic)

In the book "Educational Psychology", Dr. Arthur Gates said "Sympathy the human species universally craves. The child eagerly displays his injury; or even inflicts a cut or bruise in order to reap abundant sympathy. For the same purpose adults... show their bruises, relate their accidents, illness, especially details of surgical operations. 'Self-Pity' for misfortunes real or imaginary. is, in some measure, practically a universal practice"

Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives (Melancholy)

In most cases, people are honest and want to discharge their obligations. The few exceptions to that rule, individuals who are inclined to cheat, will in most cases react favorably if you make them feel that you consider them honest, upright and fair.

Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas (Sanguine)

If you present facts using dramatization or showmanship, you will always get a greater response to your ideas.

Principle 12: Throw down a challenge (Choleric)

Every successful person loves a challenge. They love the game, a chance to prove their worth, to excel, to win. That is what makes foot races, pie eating contests, horse shoe throwing contests. There is a desire to excel. This desire in turn brings on a feeling of importance.

All of these principles makes our own type of personality fun to transform, so that we get the desired outcome, when interviewing, putting forth an idea, selling a product or competing in the difficult economic climate today. Try them out, and see if they work for you.


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    • carolinemoon profile image


      7 years ago

      Great information!Thanks for sharing.

    • ReggieD06 profile image


      8 years ago

      Very good information. You are right, Hglick....even if you win an argument you lose. Thanks for sharing.

    • hglick profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Ronkonkoma, NY

      thank you very much RTalloni

    • RTalloni profile image


      9 years ago from the short journey

      Thanks so much for stopping by my hubs! Will be you fan in a few minutes...

      I shouldn't be surprised that your personality article here is so good considering your focus on cats. :)

    • hglick profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Ronkonkoma, NY

      Yes Madame X that is very true. Unfortunately that only works when dealing with terrorists,because it's the only thing they understand.

    • profile image

      Madame X 

      9 years ago

      Fascinating stuff hglick - and while I've used some of these techniques at various times with great success, sometimes it is necessary to smack an idiot just to make them behave. Unfortunately it is the very rare person who can learn from a well-deserved smack :)

    • hglick profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Ronkonkoma, NY

      Thanks quicksand

    • quicksand profile image


      9 years ago

      You've got some great tips here. I shall try to follow all of them! Thanks :)

    • hglick profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Ronkonkoma, NY

      Thanks elisabeth for your comments

      Yes, these principles definitely work with upset or medically challenged people, because they teach compassion

    • elisabethkcmo profile image


      9 years ago from Just East of Oz

      this is great info, I find myself using some of these principles in working with upset or difficult people in my nursing job, but I've learned more that will help me also

      thanks, hglick!


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