Selling Political Correctness...and Humor...on eBay

The world I'm graced to live in today is a much different place than the one I grew up in.

Some of the differences are good. Some of the differences are bad.

Those on the right bemoan the fact that the constitution is being shredded to pieces. Not so, says the left, we're actually just now interpreting the concept of certain inalienable rights.

Moderates, like myself, assert that we are not double-minded. In fact, the choice to sit on a fence and enjoy the view on both sides is in itself a third and just as viable choice.

Because of all these differences, something had to be added to man's global deck of cards. That wild card, my friends, is political correctness.

You can seed a discussion about political correctness just about anywhere you go--a college classroom; a metropolitan bus; a favorite coffee shop; Sunday School or Sabbath School; a football stadium; a grocery store; and even a yard sale.

There are those who liberally embrace, maybe even fanatically so, the need for political correctness. There are those who staunchly refuse to recognize--let alone utilize--it, sometimes even to the point of fisticuffs.

No matter how one feels about PC , we can all agree, perhaps, that it's here to stay.

As a seller on eBay for over a dozen years, it's very important that I recognize, acknowledge, and utilize political correctness to a healthy degree. What's a healthy degree? A working definition for me is to honor everyone as an equal, regardless of physical appearance, intellectual aptitude, lifestyle choice, work and/or recreational activity...and so forth.

Does that mean I've completely stopped offending people? Not at all. I offend my better half all the time. Maybe not so much for being politically mistaken...but more for being a knucklehead.

The thing is, I try my best, and I think that's where the majority of people are with this relatively new concept.

Allow me to share with you an analogy.

In Hawaii, the toads come out at night. I know this because in the morning, there'll be dozens of squished toad bodies lying on the roads. Someday, a toad activist will stage a filibuster in the Hawai'i State Legislature, adamantly pursuing--yes, you were way ahead of me--the political correctness of having crosswalks for toads. As fast as they try to hop, you see, the mosquitoes, gnats, and other insect critters are out at night, too...and if you're a toad, well, you'd find a thousand free snacks to be irresistible temptations. Thus, hopping across the road when cars are traveling 35 mph or faster is not the best recreational activity for a toad.

Okay. Ribid! I've digressed enough as it is.

Recently, I found these Madame Alexander dolls, originally promoted by McDonald's as a snack pack bonus, cast aside in a plastic bin outside of a thrift store.

Now, I've never been homeless (I mean, dwelling-challenged) , but I personally know what it's like to have been cast aside.

Partly as a whim and partly as an empathetic gesture (Can a man truly empathize with a plastic doll? Ah, but that's fodder for a future hub.), but mostly because they were FREE (a politically correct four-letter word that starts with F , just in case you missed that), I salvaged them.

Every now and then, I create personal challenges to keep the invading Alzheimer troops at bay. My personal challenge (PC! ) at the time of this writing is to utilize political correctness in an eBay listing with the help of my two friends above. I also want to include an element of humor in my listing because--potentially, at least--laughter is a politically correct and universal language.

Like a toad hopping slowly across the road, then, I'm creating the following listing. Maybe I'll even find the courage to post it.

Just for grins...

We present for your consideration HANSEL AND GRE...uh, scratch that...HANSEL AND HANSEL from the Madame Alexander Doll Company for McDonald's.

Look...we could put out a press release stating that Gretel had a contract dispute...or that she's pregnant...or that she is in Monaco starring with Brad Pitt in a new action thriller. But the truth is...come on, people! These guys are from the year 2010, and the world is a much different place! Do we have to spell it out for you?

Let's just say that Hansel & Hansel are both in a committed relationship...and we'll leave it at that, okay?

THERE WILL BE NO DISCRIMINATION ON THIS WONDERFUL GLOBAL VENUE!

Danke!

The enthusiastic collectibles specialist will find these young men to be wonderful additions to his or her specialty collection.

Okay, so there you have it.

Political correctness can and should be a genuine human courtesy flourishing not just only on an online marketplace, but as an ever-expanding universal bridge connecting all points homo sapiens.

Hey, fellahs! Any final comments?