So Long, Practical Jokers, Disrespectful Employees in Office Meetings
Let's Look at a Common Event
that happens every day. This event either happens each morning or in the afternoon, depending on the office manager and policy. This event, and it is not boring, is an office meeting. Yes, an office meeting. Things are shared. Things are discussed and the boss usually pats the backs of the employees and talks about new goals for the company to meet.
Told you that this was not a dangerous situation. But do not be fooled. Some office meetings can pack some very exciting moments if one of the pretty female office workers is dating an eligible bachelor or going to retire after a 30-year run.
And some office meetings can be very tense. Make that so tense that you can read it on your forehead. I know. In my 23-year career with our local newspaper, I have experienced by share of office meetings. And I can tell you that this title says it all: So Long, Practical Jokers, Disrespectful Employees, Office Meetings.
Obviously this girl is not Bo Derek, the girl who had the blockbuster film, "10," co-starring Dudley Moore.
- Female co-workers should beware of winking, using her beautiful eyes, and kissing the air toward a very masculine co-worker who is a young Clint Eastwood and talks with the charm of Brad Pitt.
- Office staff should be aware that if you are a practical joke addict, and a joke backfires (although clean and harmless) may lead to your termination for advice such as this is being more a norm than just looking the other way--for in 2017, office workers are more sensitive to others' needs in the office than in a few years.
- Males who have way too much confidence mixed with too much testosterone may cause such males to hide in the ladies' room and scare the innocent females to get a big laugh. This item can also lead to a heated chastising by the office manager or even termination if the ladies are harmed by a male wearing a gorilla mask. Females, as you know, are more prone to be scared.
- The very old activity named "playing footsie," in the hectic and fun-loving 1950's when America was really booming is not viewed on as favorable. This is actually sexually harassment and can be used as grounds for termination. Note: this item is for both male and female.
- No sneaking inside any given supplies closet to sneak a loving kiss from a romantic co-worker can lead to big trouble if the two spouses find out what the husband and wife have really been doing from nine to five in the office. Some punishments for this offense can be reprimanded by office managers or given a week off without pay or worse, divorce and the loser cannot keep the car, house or dog.
Some Coworkers can be Terminated if Such Acts Continue:
- Tossing paper clips toward other employees while the boss has his/her back turned away during a lecture.
- Placing a spoonful of cream cheese in the chair of an employee who is always a trusting soul.
- Using the old-fashioned "Whoop-eee" cushions placed in the chair of innocent coworkers.
- Giving another mischievous co-worker $20.00 to play a collection of animal sounds over the office P.A. system.
- Giving other prank-minded co-workers to make fake phone calls to the office manager or C.E.O.
- Stunts such as fake fainting to be allowed to go to the emergency room to be checked out and get a day off.
- And these list are only a few things that cause any office staff to grow more tense as the days go by. An assistant office manager may be called on to keep a security watch for such antics that have no place in the American office.
And now Even More Helpful Items . . .
- Sending a dozen red roses to a very pretty coworker, but the prankster knows that she is severely allergic to roses.
- The same can be said for pranksters sending a big box of chocolates to a hot female client manager, but she knows that chocolates are allergic.
- In years past, before human resources departments made a few tough changes, make it grounds for termination if a male or female office worker were to hide underneath a co-worker's desk and when he/she gets back from a weekly office meeting, the joking co-worker gently bites the shins of the co-worker causing shrill screams to everyone privy to this joke and some of these jokes can be dangerous enough to be deemed unhealthy.
- Placing an unnoticeable pin sitting in the seat of the C.E.O. or office manager (put there by a hardcore jokester) can cause loud screaming and a lot of pain in the buttocks area.
- Extra long yawning by drowsy co-workers who have just came off of a 15-hour shift and then forced to hear a two-hour, statistic-filled, mundane tone of maybe an office manager, lecturing about a topic: "Dangers of Waste Paper," can cause any exhausted co-worker to yawn like there is no tomorrow.
- Sneaking behind the boss who is talking, to kiss the neck of a pretty female co-worker knowing that they are having a secret affair. Such bold actions are not tolerated anymore. This item can go with this item and it is blowing into the ear of a pretty co-worker causing the pretty girl to giggle making other staff members along with the office manager to be seriously-aggravated.
- Sipping a few dry martini's headed to the conference room and alcohol is detected, can lead to one being chastised by the Human Resources Dept. by a week off without pay or worse, termination.
- Coming to weekly office meetings by co-workers who have spent the night before partying the night before and it was only Tuesday night, is not acceptable.
Other Physical Happenings That Create Undue Stress
- Congestive coughing and never bothering to think of others in the office and see a doctor or eat a cough drop.
- Nervous twitching of the feet, fingers, and drumming hands while the boss is telling his employees new ways to increase new clients.
- Profuse sweating while in the office meeting. Maybe this troubled employee could see a doctor to see why this employee sweats so much and not just in the office meetings.
- Reckless belching when an employee has just had lunch and attends the office meeting.
- Shutting his eyes (due to working for long hours) behind his hands so the boss and co-workers can take a quick nap.
And Finally . . .
- Please! No munching potato chips, nacho chips, or slurping on sodas, iced tea or water is going to be looked upon as "playful" co-workers. If you are hungry, eat on break or lunch time. One danger about co-workers eating while having an office meeting is getting food hung in the their throats and then sent into a panic when the co-worker cannot swallow the chip or other food item. Note: drinking scalding-hot coffee or cocoa is not acceptable due to the co-worker accidentally spilling the hot liquid on other co-workers causing serious burns.
- Turning a jar of fire ants loose while other office workers are sitting in the conference room waiting for their boss to have a weekly office meeting is going to be very irritating and painful if the fire ants start to sting the co-workers and some may be sent to the emergency room due to being allergic to fire ants.
- Talking to a pretty female/male co-worker paying no attention to the office manager while he/she is sharing some important business figures are no longer thought of as a "slap on the hand." Besides being rude, such behavior if continued for a number of weeks, can be fired by not respecting their office manager and the office policies.
Aren't you going to have a more successful office meeting when you go to work in the morning?
Have a safe, happy weekend.
Good night, Pensacola, Florida.
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© 2017 Kenneth Avery