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Stupid Job Titles

Updated on February 29, 2012
WRITE AND WORK 85 by Chrisharvey DESCRIPTIONAn image of a set of pencils that are writing the word work.
WRITE AND WORK 85 by Chrisharvey DESCRIPTIONAn image of a set of pencils that are writing the word work. | Source

stupid job titles

Have you noticed lately that job titles no longer describe what people actually do? There seems to be many managers and no workers. Research some time ago discovered that a grander title could mean as much to workers as a pay rise. In these austerity times, employers are outdoing one another in fancy job titles, just look through any classified job advertisement section. When looking through the classified jobs section, you might also notice the job descriptions are just as fanciful as the job titles to which they relate.

This is another example of business bamboozling people with jargon. There is no shame in describing people’s job properly and clearly. A knowledge Navigator could be anything but a teacher commands respect. People will despise a space consultant as much as they do an estate agent (real estate agent). Passengers would rather show their tickets to a ticket inspector than a Revenue Protection Officer. Would you even guess that a foot health Gain Facilitator is a chiropodist? Your Head of Verbal Communications might not be as willing to take your messages or book your hotel, as your receptionist would be.

You might balk at giving a technical horticultural Maintenance Officer an order but you would not hesitate to tell the gardener mow the lawn and prune the roses. A flueologist and a regional head of services, infrastructure, and procurement, do not sound nearly as friendly as a chimney sweep and a caretaker. An ambient replenishment controller actually controls nothing, and giving a shelf-filler, in a supermarket, a fancy name changes nothing. A refuse collection operative still drives a dustcart. Giving jobs gobbledygook names does not make them better jobs, nor do these names describe the jobs adequately.

Sometimes these nonsense job titles devalue other people’s professions. A petroleum transfer engineer is not an engineer at all, but works at the petrol station, where you fill your car with fuel. An engineer studies hard for many years to get his or her qualification. The dictionary describes an engineer as a person trained and skilled in the design, construction, and use of engines or machines or in any of the various branches of engineering. By no stretch of the imagination, have people who work in filling stations the skills and knowledge required by the term engineer.

A recruitment company recently found that a fancy title only made 19% of people feel better about themselves, the other 81% do not care what people call them they would far rather have a pay rise. Pretentious and meaningless titles make employees laugh and raise their eyes to heaven.

Comments

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  • Mercia Collins profile imageAUTHOR

    Mercia Collins 

    6 years ago from United Kingdom

    Thank-you for commenting Didge, I would like to collect some more stupid job titles. If you hear one not mentioned here, please contact me. Perhaps we should give them a silliness rating?

  • Didge profile image

    Didge 

    6 years ago from Southern England

    thanks for sharing! !

  • Mercia Collins profile imageAUTHOR

    Mercia Collins 

    6 years ago from United Kingdom

    thank-you for your kind comment Gusser. Do hubbers know any daft job titles?

  • profile image

    Gusser 

    6 years ago

    Do you mean a Sanitary Engineer is really only a janitor? Good hub.

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