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Telemarketers: What they say and what they mean

Updated on June 19, 2013

Telesales: An introduction to the telemarketer

Telesales. We've all been there, right?

You know, the time when a telemarketer calls you up while you're eating your evening meal. And half of what they say doesn't even make sense!

Having spent many years of my earlier life selling products over the telephone, I have designed this guide as a way of you translating some of the common sayings... into what they really mean. Perhaps.

What They Say
What They Mean
Good Morning
Wake Up
Good Afternoon
You're Not At Work?
Good Evening
I Bet You Were Eating A Meal
My Name Is Paul
You Would Not Be Able To Pronounce My Name
How Are You?
Please Think Of Me As Friendly
The Reason I'm Calling...
Let Me Hit You With A Sales Pitch
I Have Exciting News For You
I've Been Saying This To Everybody For A Month
This Is A Brand New Product
We Can Offer A Product That Is Two Years OId
Let Me Explain The Discounts You're Entitled To
I Intend On Describing The Price In A Way Which Confuses You
This Is A One-Time Only Offer
If You Don't Say Yes I'll Call Back
You Were Selected Because We Recognise You As A Loyal Customer
We Dialled Your Number Out The Phone Book
We Will Include A Free...
This Product Is So Expensive We Have To Make It Worth Your While
I Understand How You Feel
Everybody Says That
It's A Good Investment
Yes, It's Expensive
Why Aren't You Interested?
Would You Like To Change Your Mind?
Let's Get The Ball Rolling
I'm Getting Impatient
Do You Have Any Friends Or Family Who Might Benefit?
You Were The Last Number On My List And I Don't Want To Start From The Top
My Manager Is On Another Call
I'm In Big Trouble
When Is More Convenient To Call?
I'm Not Giving Up That Easily
Of Course I'll Remove Your Name From Our Database...
I'll Call You Tomorrow

Encore!

Fed up with telesales? Print the article here: What to say to telemarketers, and stick it by your phone. A guaranteed chuckle.

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    • Crystal Tatum profile image

      Crystal Tatum 4 years ago from Georgia

      Hilarious! I have to say I've developed the habit of just hanging up on these people. I know they're just trying to make a living, but it gets really old.

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Funny, I just had a call yesterday evening from a telemarketer. He started talking about his product. I let him. Then he asked me if I have any questions. I told him, "Sure, did you have your dinner already cause I'm having mine right now and also, can you tell me what are you wearing?". I can hear him laughing at the other end, then he hung-up. Lol! So, sorry for him. I know he's only doing his job but these T-marketers are so annoying. I did that kind of job too when I was a student. I only lasted for 3 months. Lol, I think it's a dead-end job. Anyway, I enjoyed reading your hub at the end of one crazy Monday. Good one! I voted funny!

    • writeyourwrongs profile image
      Author

      John Crowley 3 years ago from Sheffield

      Awesome

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