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Telemarketers: What they say and what they mean
Telesales: An introduction to the telemarketer
Telesales. We've all been there, right?
You know, the time when a telemarketer calls you up while you're eating your evening meal. And half of what they say doesn't even make sense!
Having spent many years of my earlier life selling products over the telephone, I have designed this guide as a way of you translating some of the common sayings... into what they really mean. Perhaps.
What They Say
What They Mean
You're Not At Work?
I Bet You Were Eating A Meal
My Name Is Paul
You Would Not Be Able To Pronounce My Name
How Are You?
Please Think Of Me As Friendly
The Reason I'm Calling...
Let Me Hit You With A Sales Pitch
I Have Exciting News For You
I've Been Saying This To Everybody For A Month
This Is A Brand New Product
We Can Offer A Product That Is Two Years OId
Let Me Explain The Discounts You're Entitled To
I Intend On Describing The Price In A Way Which Confuses You
This Is A One-Time Only Offer
If You Don't Say Yes I'll Call Back
You Were Selected Because We Recognise You As A Loyal Customer
We Dialled Your Number Out The Phone Book
We Will Include A Free...
This Product Is So Expensive We Have To Make It Worth Your While
I Understand How You Feel
Everybody Says That
It's A Good Investment
Yes, It's Expensive
Why Aren't You Interested?
Would You Like To Change Your Mind?
Let's Get The Ball Rolling
I'm Getting Impatient
Do You Have Any Friends Or Family Who Might Benefit?
You Were The Last Number On My List And I Don't Want To Start From The Top
My Manager Is On Another Call
I'm In Big Trouble
When Is More Convenient To Call?
I'm Not Giving Up That Easily
Of Course I'll Remove Your Name From Our Database...
I'll Call You Tomorrow
Fed up with telesales? Print the article here: What to say to telemarketers, and stick it by your phone. A guaranteed chuckle.