ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Business and Employment»
  • Marketing & Sales

Multi Level Marketing

Updated on June 30, 2017

A Million Bucks

Do YOU Want to be RICH

Do you want to be debt free and financially independent? I am not talking about shooting your wife, I can show you how to make enough money to keep your wife, keep your girlfriend and, if you're really lucky, keep your wife's girlfriend. And still achieve all your dreams.

Are you tired of your JOB we all know what that word really stands for “Just Over Broke” and what about the BOSS turn that word around and you have SSOB, the first letter stands for “Stupid” you can figure out the rest. Wouldn’t you love the day when you can walk into HIS office, sit down in HIS chair, put YOUR feet on his desk and talk to him about his attitude and places where the sun don’t shine. Well, here it is, the answer to all your dreams, the future is yours. A turnkey system, a home based business that can give you a full time income for part time effort. The opportunity to be among the top 1% of earners. Don’t wait, get in NOW on the ground floor of this new and exciting product.

What is the one thing you hate to see inside your house, other than a tax auditor? The thing that makes you and your family shout “Oh Gross” why, it’s the Cockroach. That dreaded infester of homes and all our private places. We put down sprays and traps but they keep coming back. What if we could advertise a product where we could GAURANTEE that we could destroy the dreaded Cockroach? What if we had a product where we could PROMISE that every Cockroach that came into contact with it would be dead, dead DEAD. Destroyed never to return.

Well folks here it is; we have discovered a way to rid households and anywhere else of this awful scourge while at the same time giving ordinary everyday folks, and I’m talking about YOU, the opportunity to make more money than your grandchildren’s grandchildren can spend. We call our program “Smacking Cockroaches And Monetizing.”

This could be you

The Product and Opportunity

The product is a simple concept and meets the legal requirements for accurate advertising. A unique way to destroy all Cockroaches that come into contact with it. What our world renown and highly respected scientific and research team have come up with is;

Two blocks of wood, both with machine smoothed surfaces. The instructions are simple to follow. You place the Cockroach on one piece of wood and smack it with the other. End of said Cockroach. You simply repeat this action until all the Cockroaches are dead.


The opportunity for you is to become an Independent Distributor of these Cock’ Smackers. That is the name our advertising and publicity people have come up with for this amazing new product, I’m sure you’ll agree it’s very catching and has quite a sexy ring to it. For an initial fee of $35 you can become an Independent Distributor giving you three, yes THREE ways to make money.

1)      Retail; Cock’ Smackers retail for the amazingly low price of $5:50 a pair. (That’s two pieces of wood). You, however, as a distributor, will be able to purchase them in any quantity you desire, for a mere $5:00 dollars. Thus making no less than 50c per sale.

2)      Recruiting; Every time you sponsor a new distributor into your organization you will receive 25% of their first order. Then, and here is the beauty of this plan, you will receive 12 ½% of their orders from then on. Wait, there’s more. For every person sponsored by your recruits, you will receive 5% percent of their orders. 

3)      We are still working on this one, but don’t worry. When we finally have it figured out you can be sure it will be fantastic.


Do not worry about the possibility of others copying this product and undercutting our price. Be assured we have patents pending and our legal team will aggressively go after any home made products that infringe on your rights.


Along with your small initial investment you will receive our monthly newsletter advising you of our upcoming meetings in your area, corporate news and the latest advice and training from the Multi-Level-marketing legends that are already a part of our team. The newsletter will feature ways to present your Cock’ Smacker in the most appealing way and will include such helpful hints as;

 “How to keep the little buggers from escaping and infesting the house of the prospect”

“How to infest a house to turn that tight wad objector into your top distributor.”

“How to avoid Cockroach splatter when demonstrating the product to a large audience.”

The newsletter will also have, for sale, books written by experts in the field of Multi-Level-Marketing. Our new distributors are encouraged to buy multiple copies that you can then sell to your recruits to make them better performers and to increase your income. (This might be our number 3)

Another Million Dollars

Latest News (Secret; Do Not Reveal)

Hot off the press; do not reveal what you are about to read.

Our researchers and scientists are saying; “We have a medical breakthrough” After many months of experimenting with mice and rats it has been discovered that a nourishing and beneficial tea can be made from the shells of the Cockroach. It has been discovered that by drinking this tea you are guaranteed to lose weight when you combine the tea with diet and exercise. Get ready to be in on the ground floor of another breakthrough in personal health and wellness.


The road to the fulfillment of your dreams begins here. Raise your Cock’ Smacker on high and let it be your symbol of freedom.


 Now don't go taking this seriously folks, It's a joke and an attempt to show just how phony some of these scams are. There are some good ideas out there and some great ways to make money.



    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • iantoPF profile image

      Peter Freeman 7 years ago from Pen-Bre, Cymru/Wales

      sunforged; Thank you for your interest. As a highly ethical and completely honest organization we do not accept PayPal. Just send us your banking information along with your social security number, we will take care of the rest.

      To your Success!!!

    • iantoPF profile image

      Peter Freeman 7 years ago from Pen-Bre, Cymru/Wales

      frogdropping; Thank you for examining our product. You are obviously a tough customer. One of our scantily clad distributors will gladly visit you and overcome your objections. Please indicate your preference for a male or female scantily clad distributor. I am confident you will be buying.

    • sunforged profile image

      sunforged 7 years ago from

      ok, im confused - so where do I send my paypal to? I can do w/o a cocksmasher (makes me cringe) BUT the Cockroach tea is mighty tempting - sounds like strong science to me

    • frogdropping profile image

      Andria 7 years ago

      *laughing - won't be buying one though* ;)

    • iantoPF profile image

      Peter Freeman 7 years ago from Pen-Bre, Cymru/Wales

      Hello ns1209; Thank you for stopping by to read ny Hub and yes it is surprisingly easy. Even though my system is called;

      "Smacking Cockroaches And Monetizing"

    • ns1209 profile image

      ns1209 7 years ago from UK - England

      I want to buy a Cock'smasher. I personally like this bit

      " We are still working on this one, but don’t worry. When we finally have it figured out you can be sure it will be fantastic."

      Shows how easy it must to be scam people that they believe they could sell some wood for $5.50 and they are willing to pay $35!

    • iantoPF profile image

      Peter Freeman 7 years ago from Pen-Bre, Cymru/Wales

      Hello lorlie; yes buy! buy! some people did take it seriously. You'd be amazed that's why I disabled the comments for a while, I did have quite a lot. It started as a bit of fun and it's become my most popular Nub outstripping the one on Swear Words, who would have guessed.

      Thank you for reading and commenting.

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Brilliant, Ianto!

      Buy! Buy!

      Wish you could leave out the disclaimer, though...I guess some people would take this seriously. Pity, ain't it?


    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Brilliant, Ianto!

      Buy! Buy!