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The Innermost-Thoughts of an Unemployed Scarecrow in a Job Interview

Updated on June 2, 2015
(from left) Burt Lahr; Jack Haley; Judy Garland, and Ray Bolger, who without a question is the most-famous scarecrow of all time.
(from left) Burt Lahr; Jack Haley; Judy Garland, and Ray Bolger, who without a question is the most-famous scarecrow of all time.

This Piece is Lovingly-Dedicated

to All Scarecrows Everywhere.

Sincerely,

Kenneth

Did you know . . .?

An amazing scarecrow fact: For over 3,000 years the lowly, humble scarecrow has faithfully executed his (or her) duties to protect the food that is growing in the fields that his master has planted to feed his family. The scarecrow has performed this thankless work in all type of weather, economic conditions, and social change.

With no complaint from its mouth sown with twine from a burlap fertilizer bag.

I can't stay this about any labor force including America's labor force. This is a terrible shame. The poor scarecrow is just grateful to have a job although it may only be for a few months. I would call a scarecrow with these traits, dedicated to their craft.

This scarecrow may look happy, but inside he is all tied-up in knots in fear of being laid off.
This scarecrow may look happy, but inside he is all tied-up in knots in fear of being laid off.
A nice-looking, all-American scarecrow.
A nice-looking, all-American scarecrow.
Creepy scarecrow who appears in the video game with Batman.
Creepy scarecrow who appears in the video game with Batman.

I salute you, Ray.

The most-famous of all scarecrows far and near would be the late Ray Bolger who was the "Scarecrow," who befriended "Dorothy" in the American classic, "The Wizard of Oz." And what a friend he was. He stuck close to "Dorothy" to the bitter-end when she got her wish to go back home to Kansas. I mean he must have dotted all of his "i's and crossed all of his "t's," because when "Dorothy" embraced him to say farewell, she whispered, "I think I'm gonna miss you most of all."

I cannot add anything dramatic to that scene.

I have loved scarecrows since I was six. I can readily-recall that when my dad would till the "garden spot" as he named it to plant our produce to harvest and put up for the winter, I was extra-happy when he gathered the materials to build that year's scarecrow. My dad knew how to build the perfect scarecrow. He built it so well that when I was alone playing in the yard, I would spend time talking to the scarecrow and sharing the most-serious feelings that a six-year-old can have. A scarecrow makes an ideal best friend.

This version of a scarecrow is used for Halloween fear affects.
This version of a scarecrow is used for Halloween fear affects.
These are scarecrow impostors. See their jack-o-lantern heads?
These are scarecrow impostors. See their jack-o-lantern heads?
A scary, foggy scene that accompanies horror movies.
A scary, foggy scene that accompanies horror movies.

A country without scarecrows?

And if our country and civilization continues to flirt with the slippery-slope of phasing-out this and that due to it, the event or invention simply because it does not produce as much as it did years ago, the worst-mistake our leaders could ever make is to do away with the lovable scarecrow. I am completely-serious.

Can you take a moment for yourself and imagine yourself traveling across our country and when you hit the "Bread Basket of America," our priceless farmlands, and there are no scarecrows, then you will be correct in gasping, "there is definitely something wrong."

Don't worry, friends. I am embarking on a campaign now to head-off such a stupid act as that of purging our country of scarecrows. Even typing this ignorant thinking makes me severely-irritated.

I am going to put myself in the place of a good hearted scarecrow who has looked for work so much that his straw feet and legs are almost worn down to the lumber where the straw was stuck with Elmer's glue. And present to you . . .

This is the lazy uncle who lives with the scarecrow impostors.
This is the lazy uncle who lives with the scarecrow impostors.
This is one nice-looking scarecrow.
This is one nice-looking scarecrow.
How cute.
How cute.
Old lady scarecrow.
Old lady scarecrow.
Traditional scarecrow guarding his owner's pumpkin patch.
Traditional scarecrow guarding his owner's pumpkin patch.

The Innermost-Thoughts of an Unemployed Scarecrow in a Job Interview

  • "I wonder if my shirt with "Al" embroidered over my heart and orange inmate pants look okay for this meeting."
  • "Rats! I wish I hadn't been fed left-over beans for lunch."
  • "Curse my master's rambunctious cat for shredding my butt."
  • "I just know that this guy interviewing me will laugh at me for not having any teeth."
  • "I wish the man giving the interview would hurry--my face is beginning to wilt."
  • "Just my luck, he will have a severe-case of hay fever."
  • "What if I raise my hand to make a point and my hand flies off?"
  • "I would get myself a drink of water, but it would run out all over the floor."
  • "Oh my goodness! The button my owner put in my head for my left eye is drooping."
  • "What? Oh can it get any worse? Crows relieved themselves on my shoulders."
  • "I wonder if the man doing the interview has ever been referred to as a bag of junk like those two men just called me?"
  • "I feel like a half-eaten bale of hay."
  • "Last gig I had was a community hay ride when everyone sat on me in the wagon."
  • "It's been so long since I scared any crows, I should change my name to "Peace Crow."
  • "Sure hope the stick in my back holds up or I will fold-up and fall to the floor and the man interviewing me will surely think I have a drinking problem."
  • "I pray that during the interview, this guy doesn't go his feeble-impression of "The Fonz," by looking at me and saying, "Haaaayyyyyyy!"
  • "Is that him? No. Just got one eye and it's about to fall out."
  • "I hope this interview is for a good-paying job. I have no self-respect left. My friends ask me what I do for a living and all I got is 'hang on a pole all day long."
  • "Sir, please do your smoking way over there!"
  • "Wish I could watch 'The Wizard of Oz,' before I get interviewed. "The Scarecrow," gives me an ego-boost."

"You mean it? I got the job? . . .What? Packing material? You can't be serious."

A helpful video.

Comments

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    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      annart,

      Wow, now I am as excited as I was when I told you in the previous comment that I would love to visit you and tour your countryside.

      You live in a truly enchanted part of the world.

      Please keep me posted on any more scarecrow-related items you see.

      Thanks,

      Your Life-Long Friend,

      Kenneth

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      3 years ago from SW England

      Thanks for the tip. I've noticed a few a while back but not at present but I'll keep alert.

      BTW, forgot to mention before that several places in England have 'Scarecrow Trails', where people dress up their scarecrows on a theme, children of all ages have a list to tick off each one when they've found it and there's usually a prize for the best scarecrow. They're all in gardens around a village or town, often around Easter time. Great fun!

      Ann

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear annart,

      Thank you, my good friend, for such a sweet comment.

      You are right. They do project a warm appeal. I would love to visit your countryside and see those scarecrows.

      NOTE: watch your hubs. Mine are being hacked by a gang of low lifes who leave bogus comments on them. I have notified HP about this and if it continues, all of us may be hacked.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      3 years ago from SW England

      Great hub, Kenneth! I love scarecrows too. They have such an appeal. I grew up with the Wurzel Gummidge stories and they were funny.

      We have quite a few still in our countryside fields.

      Ann

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