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The Tao of SEO—ancient methods of achieving pagerank balance and harmony
The Tao of Cyberspace
Repose is the source of all movement. Stillness is the master of agitation. Says one of the masters of the ancient methods. I am bored and sleepless and must awake early tomorrow and faced with life-changing epiphanies about the energy that is the universe of the internet (little did I know that when I talked about the entropy of internet content, I was merely scratching the surface).
"How do I see the order in PageRank?" I humbly asked the master. "everything is seemingly chaotic and out of chance."
"Don't be a fool," he said righteously. "there are no correct answers to wrong questions."
I pondered upon the master's words and realized that in order to achieve SEO enlightenment, I must first know the correct questions to ask.
I have long tried the methods of science, of the westerners, but have found them futile and unfulfilling, pretentious and alienating. I was shrouded by misleading doctrines of social media, deceived by the false idols of the so called SEO experts. Their ways were corruptive and more importantly, they did not reveal the order in PageRank, the Tao of the Internet universe.
And so I traveled to the east to search for the truth about our existence in cyberspace and everything within it. And now here in the temple of the great master, I spend a great deal of my time in meditation. For now, I must fetch him water.
The Dharma of Keywords
Bacon and Cheese. Those were the first two keywords I was tasked to meditate on. I pondered for many months, juggling different long-tail versions and combinations of words. But nothing. There was just too much chaos, too much clutter, too much competition. I wanted to give up. It is impossible to rank on anything about bacon or cheese, it's just too crazy.
But thats when I realized that I was surrendering my energy into the chaos instead of harnessing the order that underlies it. After many months of more meditation, I realized: I must write about the KFC Delivery Menu. At first glance, you would probably think that has nothing to do with bacon or cheese. But that is where you are wrong, my friend. Everything is connected. Everything in the Universe of the Internet is made up of ones and zeros. We are all one. One massive energy: the Tao.
Meditation Music in our iTouch is imperative
The Zen of Viral Marketing
The producer of Rebecca Black was actually trained here in this very temple along with many others like the great Annoying Orange.
Throughout my days here, I have come up with a blog: beating the search engine. It is still very young. I am far from enlightenment. I am much too distracted by conventional methods and misleading information indoctrinated to me by the westerners. They do not understand that the internet is a universe, a dimension that is overlapping with our reality. Chaos is an illusion. There is balance. Lightness is the root of the heavy.
Here in this temple, we worship Eris, goddess of Chaos. Let us not forget, we need Five tons of flax and study many times the conversations between the Greater Poop and Malaclypse the Younger.
My bothers and sisters, this is the true path in understanding PageRank and many other misinterpreted concepts of search engine optimization. May you find your way.