The strangest funny excuse for not going to work!
Back in the 1980s, my brother Tim and I worked at a Truck sales business in New Paris, Ohio. Tim had missed quite a few days of work for numerous excuses.
Our boss, Henry came out of his office one morning, walked straight up to me and said 'That brother of yours is going to drive me insane!" I just folded my arms and looked at him while trying to hide a grin.
He ranted on "He just called in and told me he couldn't come to work because a cow fell in the well.....how does a goldamn cow fall in a well?" Henry was fuming and went on saying " I am taking the wrecker out to his house and there had better be a goldam COW in that WELL!"
It was killing me not to laugh and as the word passed through the shop....I could hear people busting out laughing!
Henry came back about three hours later. He walked up to me and said "Well Tom, there was a cow in the well...we pulled it out with the wrecker....the cow is OK."
I asked "Is Tim coming in to work then?" Henry replied "I think so...unless he pushes that goldamn cow back in the well....thats it...hell....I'll bet you a dollar on a doughnut that he pushed that cow in the well!"
The whole shop was listening and everybody busted out laughing! Henry walked away mumbling something and I only caught a few cuss words as he went in his office, slamming the door!
Tim came in a little later and was grinning from ear to ear. He told me how the cow must have stepped on the old boards covering the well. They harnessed the cow with the help of a farmer and got it out.
To this day....I believe that our old boss, Henry, thinks Tim pushed that cow in the well to have an excuse to not come in to work.