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What I've Leared From Watching Commercials

Updated on October 7, 2011
  1. Married women are the only people who do housework and they really enjoy it!
  2. Erectile dysfunction is extremely common, especially in men between the ages of 30 and 55.
  3. A product that cures a migrane is worth the risk of getting cancer.
  4. Likewise, long think lashes are very important. More important than eyesight.
  5. Women go to clubs, sit around and talk about birth control pills.
  6. Only 20 year old models with big boobs go to the beach. They all wear high heels with their bikinis and love guys who drink beer!
  7. A certain male cologne and bodywash will make women do unspeakable things when a man wears it.
  8. William Shatner will endorse ANYTHING.
  9. Cute little reptiles with British accents work for car insurance companies. Meanwhile, elves bake cookies in their tree houses.
  10. Eating at Subway everyday will make you lose weight.
  11. Anti-wrinkle cream will make you look like the 25 years old model who is endorsing it.
  12. My insurance agent will appear out of nowhere if I beckon. So will the hot guy down the street.
  13. The only guys who drink beer are young and athletic.
  14. Women get super excited when talking about their periods.
  15. Your bank really, really cares about you. Really!
  16. My cell phone is dated after only six months and it's CRUCIAL that I get a new one now.
  17. Seniors make up only 5% of the population. 95% of the world is young, thin and attractive.
  18. Choosy moms still choose Jiff.
  19. High fructose syrup is not harmful even though it's banned in Europe. Silly Europeans, what do they know?
  20. Getting married? That ring better be from Jared's!!


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    • profile image


      7 years ago

      This is so funny and true. I'd like to add that single men in commercials are hot, sexy, and drive fast cars. But once they get married they become big idiots and don't know how to wash the deck or use a blender without causing a mess. Voted up and funny.

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 

      7 years ago from North Carolina

      Aha! These are great Amymarie! Thats one lizard I'd like to squash with a foot if you know what I mean. Captain Quirk has fallen so low these days; and high fructose corn syrup is good for us, the ingredient gift that keeps on giving. Loved this, What a fun read.~:)

    • Majadez profile image

      Maja Dezulovic 

      7 years ago from Johannesburg, South Africa

      Haha! I laughed through this entire list. I have a tv that I've switched on about twice in the past three months so I'm not a fan. I prefer to choose what to watch and when I want to watch it - the internet is indeed very useful! I did, however, grow up watching tv and from what I do see nowadays, things haven't changed much...

    • amymarie_5 profile imageAUTHOR

      Amy DeMarco 

      7 years ago from Chicago

      Tlmcgaa, thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked this.

      Chronicler, agreed! I dropped cable and got netflix instead. Best thing I ever did. Thanks for dropping by!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Great list--so funny and so true! We've been seriously considering dumping the cable TV at casa de chronicler. My tolerance for this idiotic advertising is close to nil; thank goodness for the Roku box + Netflix!

    • tlmcgaa70 profile image


      7 years ago from south dakota, usa

      I agree with glad not to have a t.v. ...way to much junk and not a whole lot of decent shows on that make it worth having around these days. if i want to watch something i use the computer, then i pick what i want to watch and nothing more, or added to it. but i did enjoy your insights, they were funny.

    • amymarie_5 profile imageAUTHOR

      Amy DeMarco 

      7 years ago from Chicago

      Hi Angeltrader!

      Glad you got a kick outa this. Must be true about those vapors! Lol. Your better off without a tv I think.I really should get rid of mine. With all the junk on tv, I can feel my iq dropping sometimes! Thanks for stopping by!

    • AngelTrader profile image


      7 years ago from New Zealand

      Thank God I don't have a tv! Very amusing observations of a very cynical industry.

      Your first point always made me laugh, it was like the women were high on the poisonous vapors coming off the 'safe' products...I've never met a woman yet who exhibits that kind of manic satisfaction from cleaning and if I did, I'd be running!!


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