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What kind of money can you earn online?

Updated on October 8, 2009

What kind of money can you earn online?

Hopefully the spendable kind, but we can probably get a paragraph out of this weak pun anyway. Herein we discuss the kinds of money that can be earned, accumulated, hoarded, garnered, and raked in while executing an online business.

Coffee Money

Not being a coffee drinker and not living in the Pacific Northwest, this author (?) has little firsthand knowledge of coffee finances. However, another paragraph can be had, given enough adjectives, past participles, and gerunds. Coffee money can be earned through an online business; about 4 dollars a day might be doable through HubPages or InfoBarrel or ArticleGerbil or ThreadTrolling.com or WriteOnlineAndMakeCoffeeMoney.com. Given deeper thought, one realizes that working a simple hour on the MacDonalds payroll earns even more money. One realizes shortly thereafter that while MacDonald's is indeed online, working at MacDonald's is not. An online QuarterPounder might provide more nutrition, but PayPal has yet to develop a delivery system.

Operators are Standing By
Operators are Standing By

Rent a Car Money

Until the government provides us with free transportation that spends the night waiting in our driveway, we need to purchase cars, trucks, station wagons, buses, minivans, and electric-powered widgets that park 3-to-a-spot but explode on contact with a Hummer. Dare we dream to write prolifically to the point of achieving a monthly stipend that approximates a car payment? In states where texting while driving is still legal, we may earn our wheels while steering our wheels.

Quit Your Job Money

Actually the easiest type of money, Quit Your Job Money can be had the first day of your writing career. Earn a penny and quit your job.

What did you say? Oh, yes. Shortly thereafter you will sell all your stuff and move into government housing. On the bright side, in between police runs you will be able to regale your neighbors with the tale of how you made enough money quit your job.

Fur Coat Money

We got that covered here.

Late Night TV Money

Deep down in the hidden cloistered recesses of our unspoken hopes and dreams we long for the money demonstrated by Late Night TV Internet Millionaires. We includes you.

Someone is falling for the tropical drinks by the hotel swimming pool, the breathless/clueless spokesmodels, the eternally balmy late afternoon sunshine, the never ending cucumber sandwiches delivered by obsequious waiters in custom-fitter polyester.

It must be you, 'cause it ain't me.

You really really crave that much dough, moola, scratch, coin? Honestly? Well, the first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is sending $39.95 to the TV huckster, then agreeing to monthly subscriptions for conference calls, web hosting, books, tapes. books on tape, ghost-writers, products you don't have to see or even pay for, swimming pools, movie stars, and one-way trips to Fantasy Island.

Finally, sell all your stuff and move into government housing.

Some images may be courtesy of http://www.sxc.hu/

Comments

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    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Still waiting for MK to become one of my fans...

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      You can be one of my fans. ;)

    • Mark Knowles profile image

      Mark Knowles 

      8 years ago

      You have not offended me. I am just pointing out that it is possible to make decent money here and online in general.

      I think you could make decent money if you applied your wit to the right subject. And no - I am not one of your fans. I just stopped by to see what you were writing about.

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Sorry if I offended you. Are you one of my fans?

    • Mark Knowles profile image

      Mark Knowles 

      8 years ago

      Deary me.

      Do you have faith that you will fail? lol

      I make a good living online thank you and I know several others that do also. Not sure why you think that just because you failed - everyone does.

      You can obviously turn on the wit when you choose to - now apply that to the right subject and you can make money.

    • awsydney profile image

      awsydney 

      8 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Thanks for sharing. I a little sceptical too but my brother seems to be making Buy Million Dollar House Money and I'm still baffled when I'm counting adsense pennies! :(

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Thank You.

    • Gin Delloway profile image

      Gin Delloway 

      8 years ago

      LOL! great hub! I especially like your style!! =)

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @psychicdog.net: yep, it's a huge problem settling on one specific make-money-from-home-with-no-investment program. Just when I've made up my mind and picked up the phone, another huckster, er, self-made millionaire comes on TV to convince me that he has the nicer swimming pool and hotter cars.

      What a burden we must bear.

    • psychicdog.net profile image

      psychicdog.net 

      8 years ago

      LOL Great Stuff! Thanks Nicomp. Funny, I've "suffered" from the same skepticism which is preventing me from subscribing to an automated online money-making machine which gives you so much more time to wander around in pyjamas. One of the difficulties I've had is trying to work out which one of the thousands I should invest in. There's so many to choose from!

    • Aya Katz profile image

      Aya Katz 

      8 years ago from The Ozarks

      Nicomp, how about the more self-sufficient way to riches? Want a fur coat, go hunting. Want free food? Raise hens. Want transportation that doesn't burn gasoline? Get a horse, let him graze in your pasture, then ride him to your destination. How's that for solar energy? (Same goes for burning wood in your fireplace.)

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @emievil: I hope it's realistic! I'm counting on it.

    • emievil profile image

      emievil 

      8 years ago from Philippines

    • emievil profile image

      emievil 

      8 years ago from Philippines

      I second Duchess' sentiments on the hub. This is a funny hub but...it's kind of realistic also, isn't it?

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      I have found little encouragement on any of the money-making hubs. Perhaps I'm just too skeptical.

    • profile image

      Duchess OBlunt 

      8 years ago

      What a sense of humor.

      I like your Hub, but had hoped for encouragement when I saw the title. Instead I was offered enjoyment. Not a bad trade.

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