- Business and Employment
Jobs - When Pleasing People becomes a Weakness
Being a people pleaser was one of my weaknesses and sometimes it comes back, but why?
Why do we like to please people?
a) We don’t want to upset them.
b) As above, we want to keep on their good side.
c) We lack being assertive.
d) We want to show people we are capable.
e) We just want peace! (see more in the Video below)
I noticed this when I started my first job in the 90s, as an Admin Assistant. I didn’t feel like a fish out of water, I felt like a fish out of the Ocean because I had no work experience at all.
It was pretty daunting and after settling in, I still had that attitude of wanting to please everyone. If a Manager asked me to do a task, even if I couldn’t and didn’t have the time. I’d say "yes" and wonder later, how on earth to get round it. Infact there was a time I asked:
"When do you need it for?"
Manager replied: "yesterday"
I replied: "but yesterday has gone" (feeling confused) Lol.
At that time in the Civil Service, there was a Training Magazine that was circulated monthly and you could choose any course you wanted to go on. (One or Two Day courses.) My Colleagues and I chose the “How to be Assertive" Course. We attended it and all came back like Super Women!
¸.·*✰ What changed us?
We were taught to respond with lines like:
"I would like to do the task for you, HOWEVER, I am extremely busy...”
or give another good reason, without feeling bad and speak confidently. It helped a lot, gave me confidence and later I became an Admin Officer. I stayed in my first job for 8 years, then grew wings (No thanks to Red Bull!) and left to be an Office Manager in an American Company.
If this affects you, I hope the few pointers below help. Feel free to add to them in the comments box. ~ Thank you for Reading. (◕‿◕)