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Who is Bullying

Updated on October 2, 2012
Do childhood bullies turn into adult bullies?
Do childhood bullies turn into adult bullies?

We’ve heard a lot of stories on the internet and on television about bullying, the question is who is bullying who, why are they doing it and how can we make it stop? Bullying seems to come from many different directions and seems to start at a young age in schools. Michelle Obama is a great example of an advocate who speaks out against bullying; bullying ‘is not something we have to accept’, and is just one of the articles you can find. When we are the victims we know who is bullying but we need to look at the facts and a great place to start is PrevNet.ca, promoting relationships and eliminating violence.

I’ve been the victim of bullying more than once, how about you? I’m considered middle age now and guess what? … Bullying does not stop after you finish school. Who is bullying and are they the same people who did it in school? Now that they are in the workforce do they just carry on and take it out on people whom they work with? Unfortunately I have been there and experienced it, not a great job to go in to. But, we tolerate it for a period of time because of financial matters or whatever else the case may be. You need to read some of the facts on Know Bull.

What do we say to this after reading the sad facts that the majority of these bullies tend to be in some form of supervisory, management positions? As stated in the article they seem to have near impunity and they generally don’t act alone, acting as a bully group or even labeled as a mob. Companies need to wake up and pay attention, if you have a high turnover of staff you need to find out what the cause could possibly be. If you’ve crossed off the pay, benefits and location of the job as all good, I think you know where you need to start looking.

The workplace bully knows how to hide their true nature when needed!

My sister was doing a site study for a company and they wanted to know why there was such a high turnover in their establishment. In this situation a university education is required and the pay is decent to start with so those factors can be ruled out. I did question her about the facts. The facts are that there are several long term employees still with the company and have been there for over 10 years, it’s the new hires that always tend to leave very quickly. My sister said she met the people and the long term employees seemed fine to her, and I said well of course they did, they knew what you were there to do. I told her if you want to find the truth you have to go in as a new employee and see what happens. It’s grand to want to believe the best of people but before you can come to that conclusion you have to wear the shoes of a co-worker, new employee.

The sad part I find is that many of us tend to leave jobs because of our refusal to be bullied and we have every right, but we are left to wonder why these companies don’t open their eyes and see the writing; it is plainly on the wall. Workplace bullying costs millions to companies, as quoted ‘Recent research suggests 18.9 million working days are lost each year as a direct result of bullying at work, costing the UK £6 billion. The catch to that is that 90% of those that miss due to bullying say to the company that they have some other kind of illness. I have to admit, I have done this myself, not because I’m lazy but because going in was too emotionally taxing and the truth is, the victim of bullying can become very distraught, causing both emotional and physical ailments.

Who is bullying and do you have to tolerate it? I have to tell you, in case you have not experienced it, it’s a dreadful experience and it sticks with you for a long time. You try to shut down your emotions and do your best to stop the remembrances from crossing your mind, it’s hard to do but it does get better with time. The question is do these bullies know what they are doing, are they even conscious of it, do they even care? Personally I think they are well aware and they do seem to have an ulterior motive. I’ve seen it done to others so I have also experienced it as a third person, not a good experience from that angle either;

Do you know someone who is being bullied, are you friends with a person who is bullying or are you the bully yourself? If you’re the bully, well obviously you are not going to like this article at all; after all you do seem to be fairly self-righteous. Those of you that have been bullied or have friends who have been bullied, have faith, eventually these people that have tormented others will get exactly as they deserve from God himself. Don’t let past negative experiences, which were forced upon you by others, change the person that you are. God sees inside your heart, do not fear, it was not your fault. We can make it stop, you do not deserve the strife that it has caused you.

You're Not Alone

Do not feel that you are alone in the experiences that you are going through, there are people that you can talk to. If you feel that the company you work for will do nothing even if you report it, then you may need to start looking for another job where you will receive the respect due you. I know this does not seem fair but we simply can't control everything we encounter in our working lives.

This is not written against the employer, as there are many great employers out there, often times they are not aware that these incidents are taking place. This brings us to the reason why some companies will hire outside consultants to look into the what and why of it all. It is not an easy task for the consultant to get to the heart of the matter; those that act out when they know no one is looking are very good at hiding their true nature.

What you need to do is figure out if you want to report who is bullying you. Do you feel upper management will be receptive to your claims? Is there someone in human resources you can talk to about it, who you feel will be impartial? Think about it before you act. Do you want to find another job before you report your experiences or do you just want to walk away? If you don't want to speak out at your present place of work, speak out here and let your voice be heard, leaving names out of it.

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    • Magdelene profile imageAUTHOR

      Magdelene 

      5 years ago from Okotoks

      Some postings I will not publish here due to the personal nature, please do not feel offended in any way. If I post links to articles/Hubs that you have written, for the most part it means that I like your style and I like what you have to say. If you do not notice it, it is okay, it is not meant in that way, it is done out of appreciation for the work that you have done. Apologies are not needed unless you intentionally did something to bring me harm in some way. Nonetheless, thank you to all for your time and your kind words.

    • Magdelene profile imageAUTHOR

      Magdelene 

      6 years ago from Okotoks

      Thanks Teaches, one can only hope that the bullying comes to a stop. It seems that a lot more people are talking openly about it now and realizing that it is a problem that needs to be dealt with.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      As more and more people become aware of bullying, I hope we see this diminish in our society. It is horrible for kids to have to attend schools where they are afraid to go to the bathroom all day because of bullies who hang out in there. Voted up.

    • Magdelene profile imageAUTHOR

      Magdelene 

      6 years ago from Okotoks

      I agree Billy, it is truly alarming how bad it seems to be getting. I imagine you saw some very sad experiences in regards to bullying as a teacher. I definitely saw it as a kid going to school, thankfully I was not usually the one at the end of it, but there were those times too.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      It really is at epidemic proportions in this country and awareness is the first step. Great message here; I wrote on this, too; as a former teacher I was amazed and saddened by the bullying I have seen.

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