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Why don't you?

Updated on April 4, 2019
Joanna Pilatowicz profile image

Joanna is a life coach, author and dance teacher. For more information, read the profile.


In the chaos of life everyone of us has goals, obligations and obstacles to deal with. We are continuously bombarded not only with millions of bits of information everyday but things to do, so we do have to prioritize.

The demands of who we should be, have, what kind of education or skills achieved, are high. It’s easy to get lost if we are not sure ourselves.

That would be the first step …

1. Be clear about your life goals and what it takes to accomplish them.

That subject requires a separate article, but let’s assume you know what you want and you know how to get where you want to be. Usually it takes: time, effort, inner energy – intention (health), focus and often a cooperation with a circle of similar minded people.

It’s rare you have something out of nothing, and your strengths are also not means to be wasted but to be recharged everyday by proper amount of sleep, meditation or practiced attention, food, oxygen, movement, social contact, etc.

2. Be aware of your obstacles, limitations.

All of them have to go on the list of daily tasks and unfortunately they won’t disappear unsettled. If you don’t have many, you have easier start of your day and possibility for more to be done.

Here on the list goes anything you have to address before being able to work: any health problems, physical or emotional nature, taking care of somebody else, administrative obligations and other.

3. Eliminate distractions. If your list of tasks is too long, often you will do less than if you would choose 3 priorities per day, leaving the rest as extra. Get rid of those who simply waste your time, unnecessary phone calls. Be careful about conversations. Talking is also a form of energy we exchange with others or others just need us to listen and then we don’t have enough strength for what we should be doing.

Having a vivid picture of how much you can do per day, week, month, year, you start to have an idea why you cannot accommodate other people’s suggestions:

Why don’t you … (learn that language better, get that job, serve in our community – you name it).

Even if the intentions of other people are good and you wish you could comply with them, you simply cannot, being busy with the basic plan for your life.

Explaining others why you cannot take another responsibility upon you, also takes time and effort.

Here are ready answers you can choose from, some short, some detailed if you like to pass the text ;) to them. Use what works for you.

Straight forward no:

* I am fully booked.

* My daily schedule doesn’t leave me a room for that.

* I don’t think I have time, energy and passion for that at this moment.

Explanation to make someone understand better, if you care:

* After I deal with all the work/obligations/limitations per day, I have 2 hours left and I am … artist/inventor/writer (name it), so I rather follow my passion and create art exhibition/write a book/design (again, name it). This is what I want to leave for others once I am gone. This is what matters to me.

Diplomatic answers for people who won’t let you go and will keep nagging:

* Thank you for your suggestion. That is indeed important. I will put it on my list of things to do. (Nobody will ask you how you prioritize that.)

* I will consider that.

I hope this was helpful. In case of any questions, please contact me through email.

Have a great day!


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