- Business and Employment»
- Human Resources (HR)
Workplace Silent Treatment - Have you again failed to persuade them to speak to you!
3. Dear Co-worker - please to stop giving me the Silent Treatment - sob, sob!
What about your own attitude!
The only person in this world you can actually change is yourself. Changing your own attitude is not necessarily easy but it most certainly can be done. On the other hand trying to change someone else (especially for the long term) is FAR more often than not a fruitless exercise, as you may well know from past experience.
Changing your own attitude and response to a problem/situation (in this case replacing a feeling of victimisation, helplessness, anger or frustration with a tendency towards pity for the silent one) often leads to you feeling less stressed and more able to thrive and seamlessly do what you need to do each day. If you are feeling overwhelmed by passive aggressive silent treatment and tempted to take time off through stress, you must note that you should never have to give up a job you want, need or enjoy, because of someone insists on exhibiting immature, manipulative behaviour in the workplace.
Now, you may be thinking why should I have to change my outlook when they are the one with the bad attitude. Again, like it or not, the answer is simply that you cannot change anyone but yourself. If you want the situation to stay the same keep your attitude the same. If you want to get unstuck and feel better, in spite of the other person continuing to give you the silent treatment, then it’s time to seriously consider changing your own mindset and response to their abhorrent behaviour since what you are doing now isn’t helping any. By altering your attitude you can stop playing their game by their rules.
Once you stop giving the silent bully the satisfaction of seeing that they have the power to make you want to constantly appease them or see that they have the power to make you angry or frustrated, the next step should be letting them see and observe that not only are you increasingly free of pain and frustration resulting from their treatment of you, you can be and are actually quite content, carefree and happy. But when you do this you don’t want it to be merely an “act” of appearing happy when they are around. Better than that, you can now make the decision to become more and happy in your working life in spite of him or her.
Developing an increasingly positive attitude is absolutely key here. It can help you with the problem with your silent co-worker and with life in general. A more positive attitude to life is simply Win Win.
It must be stressed that feeling sorry for the person giving you the silent treatment doesn’t mean you must resume trying to win him or her over. You need to be able to adjust to and accept the fact that this is how the person is choosing to behave. It’s both juvenile and objectionable, but you CANNOT make them change their conduct.
One key question to ask yourself is do you feel able to interact normally and comfortably with the others people at work who are not giving you the silent treatment? One silent treatment giving co-worker can all too easily sour the working atmosphere for everybody and not just the person they refuse to converse with. It’s vital not to allow one person’s puerile, manipulation silence towards you to make everybody’s life awkward or miserable.
Check yourself to know if you becoming more reserved all round as a result of the problem with one person. Resolve to be at ease and spontaneous with your other co-workers. Don't play the silent treatment game by unwittingly helping to isolating yourself.
Remember: It's largely your own attitude that determines how much silent treatment can ultimately overwhelm or harm you, if at all.
>>> - NEXT - On the receiving end of Silent Treatment at Work? Balancing Professionalism, Courtesy and Kindness!
See the above link for PERSPECTIVE NO 4 - OR see below for details of a noteworthy publication on people skills and resolving conflicts. Plus there’s a short “crash course” video on dealing with bullying colleagues at your place of work.
A lengthy excerpt from this essential book is available for your consideration
People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts
This above publication can help the reader enhance both professional and person relationships by way of improving communication, listening skills and much more.
If you find that you are stuck at a relationship impasse you can learn how to overcome barriers such as defensiveness, or passive aggression. Conflict resolution skills are all important and this book has many useful strategies and recommendations.
Reviewers have said that the book has helped them make tangible changes in their interactions with others and improved relationships. There is even a section on how to manage your own resistance to learning new skills or ways or relating to others. To read excerpts from the book which will give you the opportunity to accurately judge for yourself if this book can help you click on the image above and scroll down that page.
This potentially life changing book by Author Robert Bolton is rated 4.5 out of 5 stars, with around 90% of 130 plus ratings being 5 or 4 stars.
Related articles on the Web
- Being Ignored At Work May Be Worse Than Being Bullied
Have you ever felt that your office resembles a grown-up version of high school? Are there gabby cliques and BFFs gossiping near the coffee machine, while a few lonesome individuals stand off to the s
- Why Getting The Cold Shoulder At Work Is More Hurtful Than Bullying | Fast Company | Business + Inno
If you're cutting certain coworkers out of the social circle, you're doing more harm than good, studies suggest.
- Silent Treatment Emotional Abuse in relationships/ marriage - Are you a victim?
If you find yourself frequently apprehensive of being given the silent treatment, you are likely being manipulated, controlled, and emotionally abused!
Seeking further advice.
Silent treatment/bullying at work can have far reaching negative consequences. Do consult with a qualified professional in the field or with a lawyer as necessary.