Patience turns to Personal
So the topic is patience, interesting topic. Patience can be the key to everything, everything or nothing. They say good things come to those who wait, and that is a real test for some. But others can sit back and relax they have nothing to worry about. I guess if it is at the end of the day because it must not matter. Well, those are the thoughts going through my head when it comes to patience. When patience comes to mind the thought right behind it often has to do with money. But there is a possiability that is because in my past, I had to often wait for money. But I was always go, go, go all the time to nowhere.
Impatient To Patient
I always wanted to have patience but as I've aged, its gotten much better. I used to not be able to wait for anything, so impatient it might have been embarrasing to some. I always thought to myself "I could do it much quicker! Be way more efficient" I did not realize that they were getting paid to do that. Getting paid to take your time, is also something I noticed while I was working. That was when I was a part time manager for Dollar Tree. That job sucked dick like no other. Talk about employees testing your patience at the end of the day.
Test Of Time
Something I could always be patient for though was nature. Watching the sun creep over horizon nice and slow like, feeling the nice warm glow touching your skin. Sometime feeling like a blanket taken out of the dryer and being wrapped around you. But then there were times, like in the lunch line at school. When some dumb ass kid is up front taking his old sweet ass time. Kids from the back yelling "hurry up" anjust decieded to go slower because he could. Those were the days were patience was a true test. Because if you couldnt handle it, you were sent to the principals office and that was never fun.
And It Turns Personal
But over time, I have learned that time is one thing that we will never get back. Because of that reason, we need to cherish every moment that we get. Sitting here thinking, we need to spend time with people we love. Only because we will never get time back, time or our health. As each day passes, every single one of us get a day older and a day closer to death. It doesnt matter what they have done to you. But its hard, when your own blood mother kicks you to the street. All the well knowing, you have a brain injury, you dont know the area at all and have no friends.
Turns To Hatred So Quick!
What was I expected to do? Expected to go? I didnt have a job, I did have disability and the program I was on, I received 25$ a week. No food stamps, that 25$ had to cover gas, insurance, food and water. I dont understand how a mother could do that to her youngest son. But I can, because as soon as I got booted, my big brother moved down. She no longer needed me, she had someone else to pay for stuff. Poor gu... man fuck him and fuck her too! I hope they burn in hell together! I've always said when she dies, I'll have a grave to go piss on!
Ya, she is a finical person and is good with money and hiding it. And he is the top scam artist I've ever known who says he has changed, which I doubt! They perfect with each other, unfortunate that its son and mother. It almost sounds like a rough marriage. Actually now that I think about it, that the perfect set up! He is hateful, she is hateful and they are both amazing scam artist! Perfect set up, sucks for her because I think she is going to be burying her son alone. Sucks my brother is going to die and I never honestly got to know him like a brother should.
How I Really Feel
Its bad because ya, I am going to be sad but its life. We all are living to die, some just sooner than others. Its unfortuante how things happen in life, but now looking back to when she kicked me out. I am so thankful because I got to actually live without her or anybody telling me what to do. She actually gave me freedom. I am never going back to that hell hole again. I dont care if she calls ... shit she calls now and I barely answer. I dont want to hear her voice, I dont care anymore. You pushed me out the door, well I took everything with me.
One Last Thing
I need to say one last thing. If she gets around to reading this she will have a huge pissy fit if I don't mention this. She kicked me out because I said Fuck you to her with my finger pointed at her and a louder than normal voice. If you know me at all, fuck you is common out of my mouth. A louder tone, is expressing myself, which I do often. Around her though, I couldn't express myself, she always told me to calm down. I was calm until she started speaking!
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Mark C