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There are 10 comments that are harsh but not mean on the Internet. Read each comment as though in love with the writer.

Updated on February 18, 2013

Sometimes the route to the top has some hard moments

If every time we are met with criticism we whine, we will not learn.
If every time we are met with criticism we whine, we will not learn. | Source

Not everything said that challenges you is mean

Some comments need to be harsh. Frankness is important to help other writers. Comments are not mean because they address whatever is raised.

Some folks need to get a thicker skin. Hubpages is not your living room where you get in pajamas and sing kumbaya with your closest friends. It is a public place. Not only are your invited guests free to join in, strangers as well are welcome. Did you know that in many cultures, “please”, “thank you” and “excuse me” are not even used verbally as they are not sincere in some and in some they are presumed.

So one water buffalo says to the other, "you are a water buffalo" the other responds, "how could you say that?"

It helps us to know ourselves, to be judged by another.
It helps us to know ourselves, to be judged by another. | Source

Honesty is the best policy?

I have some folks that follow me just to be a thorn in my side. I like it, it keeps me sharp. I rewrote some the other day just to avoid harsh comments, it made my piece better. We all know about the husband who says “yes honey that is a wonderful outfit” and his poor wife goes around looking the fool. My wife is not a fool. She does not ask my opinion, she just struts her stuff, and I better have a comment, hey sometimes orange does not work with green. She loves that I help her to look her best, and she is awesome when she makes sure my fly is zipped.

The point is that we have to be comfortable enough with ourselves and commenters.

Here are the ten comments:

You are wrong.

You really need to do a grammar and spell check buddy.

Where did you get your facts?

This seems a little preachy.

This needed to be longer.

Do not tell me what I believe.

Break it up more, please.

Are you stating this as fact, or your opinion?

This makes me feel – sad, angry, edgy…..

Was this meant to be funny? And my favorite

That is not ten, that is eleven ;-)

Here are ten that you can normally safely make:

Interesting

Well done

Thank you

I do not agree but you wrote it out very well.

Looks like you put a lot of work into it.

I never saw it that way.

Thanks for sharing your views.

Unique

I learned something, thank you

Good job.

I love this guy, he always has something helpful to say.

Imparting our opinions on someone else is really a nice form saying that we care.
Imparting our opinions on someone else is really a nice form saying that we care. | Source

Take the flattery of attention

A wonderful truth of this world is that people need people. A sad truth of this world is that people need people. I do not always like what I read, but I always like the fact that you wrote it. I do not always like my comments to others, but I hope you appreciate that I took the time to write it. Showing Love is not all platitudes and pleasantries. Sometimes sharing an opposite view is good for everyone.

My good friend, I cannot see in me, what you do, please let me know what it is that you see.

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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      It takes some time to "get" some folks. Language and expression skills are so varied and regional. I have a friend here that is just caustic, but I know that. So it works for us.

    • Asp52 profile image

      Andrew Stewart 

      5 years ago from England

      Some really astute observations with regard to people and their practices on the internet. I have had some interesting and stupid comments left and I will leave them up there as I feel it is beneficial to show the full majesty of intelligence and silliness. The problem with comments on an electronic device is that the true feeling of words and their intentions are often lost. Great hub though my friend-voted up

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ed. Just like I said on your question you are a moron! Isn't that a funny thing to call someone? My friend you are a poet. If you dilute the truth of your feelings then I and my friends have lost a true heart. "I would rather suffer the indignity of the insults, than lose the insight or their caring" (ed 2013)

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Glass, we know each other here, and when we do not I think we give the benefit of the doubt. You are rude and extremely blunt and honest. If someone does not like that, they can go to hell.

    • profile image

      ahorseback 

      5 years ago

      Eric , you have such a wealth of information ! Compassion , and patience for your fellow mankind !..............Thank you for sharing that...........Ed !

    • glassvisage profile image

      glassvisage 

      5 years ago from Northern California

      Great point, and something that I think other Hubbers should realize. I have given advice/criticism here before and have had it taken a different way than I had intended. I agree that while it may come off as harsh, it's really just honest and trying to be helpful. Thanks for the Hub!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I think that sometimes just being recognized is a good thing. We know that sometimes children will act badly just to get attention which is negative -- but still much needed attention. Perhaps we are not so different.

      Thank you for sharing with us your thoughts

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      You are right about the comments, I am glad you spilled out how you feel about comments it opens our eyes to learn more form this hub and to write worthy comments.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Well I reckon if we all took the time to fill our hearts as full of Love and hope as you do. We would not need this hub. (sorry about the joke I played on you at your great hub: https://hubpages.com/religion-philosophy/Nothing-t...

      So beautiful is your sentiment and writing.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Eric, I see an honest, practical, encourager who is capable of sharing his thoughts in a very appealing manner. I like this and other articles, and I'm happy to read you.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I think your handle carries this message. Carolina Muscle, yen and yang, strength yet kindness. Cheers back at you and thanks for the comment.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Ologsinquito, your example is spot on. We are not always kind, and we cannot expect others to always be ---- but you are right it is the goal. Thanks.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you for visiting and sharing Gail. Each comment improves my outlook.

    • Gail Meyers profile image

      Gail Meyers 

      5 years ago from Kansas City - United States

      I think you make a good point that needs to be made on HP!

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 

      5 years ago from USA

      I think we can offer constructive criticism as long as it is done with kindness and it's really constructive. Otherwise it becomes detrimental. Say, for instance, a new writer publishes a well-written hub, but fails to break it up into sections and then he or she asks for advice. It would be an act of kindness to explain that the writing must be broken up to make it more readable. Thanks Eric.

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 

      5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      I enjoyed reading this. Cheers.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      And you my Lady lastheart have chosen the good path.

    • Lastheart profile image

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      Ok...ummm...welll....you see, now what can I say?

      Lol gotcha!

      I really understand what you are saying and "I cannot see in me, what you do, please let me know what it is that you see." I also expect that from everyone, even when some words may freeze me for a moment.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Theresa, my biggest problem is like dad's have. I mean it in love but it comes out hard. I have a lot of work to do.

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 

      5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Eric - Excellent points in need of being made. I am exceedingly glad you wrote this. My only caveat . . . I wish I had thought of it before you. :)

      As you rightly point out, some of us could stand to learn how to comment honestly, but not hurtfully, but then on the other hand a lot of us need to develop thicker skin.

      This is after all a public writing site visited by all kinds of people from all kinds of backgrounds. Its not a therapy session intended to bolster our fragile egos. Sharing.

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