Bearbaiting Comments In Your Blogs And Hubs
Since an inordinate amount of my time each day is spent in replying to comments on my 450+ Hubs, I have to confess that I am discovering the esoteric joys of bearbaiting. Bearbaiting was a very popular spectator event in England from the Elizabethan Age right through to the Industrial Revolution. Arenas called Bear Gardens were specifically constructed for this purpose, in a form resembling a modern bullfighting ring. A bear would be chained by the neck and a group of dogs set on it, along with at least one man with a long stick to further torment the ursine victim while the crowd cheered them on.
No, I have no desire to set after the big black mama bear who regularly rifles through my garbage and trashes my neighbor's patio with dogs and a stick. I respect all life and have not consciously and personally killed a creature other than an insect since I was 5 years old and inadvertently ran over a baby chick with my bicycle. I reserve my bearbaiting to the poor, helpless creatures who find some of my Hubs so incendiary that they swear personal vendettas against your humble servant. I've already dealt with the serious issues in Death Threats, but in this Hub I'd like to focus on the lighter side of HalDefamation. This centers around Hub readers whose profound lack of any type of formal education causes them to tap out comments that defy description and can only provoke hysterical laughter, such as the gentleman who berated me for being ingnorate.
My regular readers are aware that following the global fuel and ecological shocks of the last year and a half, I have turned my back on my lifelong passion for large displacement motorcycles and have adopted a far greener stance. Appartently, a person who goes by the name of Max Brutal took exception to my objections of the new Yamaha VMX17, a gas-hogging murdercycle designed to allow riders of any experience (or lack thereof) to explore the high side of 160, 170, maybe even 180 miles per hour on public roads alongside moms driving their kids to school. I regret that I can only publish my replies to his comments as they are so graphic as to violate every imaginable standard of public decency on HubPages. I do, however, publish some of Mr. Brutal's comments in a CENSORED fashion.
I'm sorry, Max. I can only print two of your last three comments since I don't think my readers would appreciate your public offer of fellatio. But please keep going. I may have met my intellectual sparring partner! Shall we discuss deontology, consequentialism, and the aretaic turn next? Kant had some brilliant thoughts on the categorical imperative... :)
Now, now, now, Max. You have just posted three more comments and each of them deals with my genitalia and what you'd like to do with it, mostly in an extreme BDSM fashion. Unfortunately they were rather graphic and did not meet the "family friendly standards" of Hubs so I can't publish them. Hmm... FYI, I am not a homosexual, however you are the one who seems to be fixated with my private parts. Do you think that maybe you should come out of the closet now? You might find it a very liberating experience. Would you mind linking to a photo of you riding your Vmax in a pink ballet tutu? I'm sure you'd look just adorable! :)
Oh, what the heck. I've edited all the verboten words out of your comments, and I think I should publish them so that my readers can have a good guffaw. I have not modified anything other than CENSORING them, and have not edited for grammar and spelling, as they are already so didactic that I couldn't possibly improve upon them! :)
ip: 18.104.22.168 Max Brutal says: I been waighting for this bike 8 looooong CENSORED years and now some canadian CENSORED face fool says it's wrong? I will eat you liver and CENSORED you for this uncleCENSORED.
ip: 22.214.171.124 Max Brutal says: better lets discuss you CENSORED. Would you prefere knife, an ex or my baer hands?
ip: 126.96.36.199 Max Brutal says: BTW it would be simbolic to tie your CENSORED to my new VMAX2 and luch it
Oh my lord, Max. I had no idea that I was in the presence of literary greatness. I'll be able to tell my grandchildren that I had the honor of communicating with the Hemingway of the 21st century! You most certainly can share in the immortal words of Oscar Wilde "I have nothing to declare but my genius." Bravo, Max, Bravo! :)
Yeah. I have to admit it. It's bearbaiting. I'm having some fun at Mr. Brutal's expense and poking him with a stick. I would never do that to a bear. I would never even do that to a rat. But in the cases of far lower forms of life like him... hey, why not? It's fun!
The internet has created a completely new paradigm in the conventional forms of communication that we all grew up with. When I was watching Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes in the '80s it was inconceivable that I could actually engage in a debate with him. I could write him an animated letter and most likely it would just be read by one of his secretaries and filed. However, in this day and age, the Wacky Warring Web has created a battleground where anyone anywhere can engage in a verbal tussle with pretty well anyone else, hiding behind the comfortable anonymity of screen nicknames. We can all shrug and say "hey, it's the internet... what do you expect?" and walk away from the issue, or we can realize that the code of conduct which an entire generation is learning is perfectly normal online status quo, they are now starting to implement in their interpersonal relations and even in their working lives. I regularly witness behavior in retail stores and offices which would have been unthinkable just a decade ago. Co-workers, management and even clients are regularly treated with such shameless impertinence, disrespect and outright rude vulgarity that I leave the premises shaking my head.
When a Hubber or Blogger encounters this shockingly disproportionate level of loutish incivility in comments to their articles, it would be wrong of them to take it personally, or to reply in kind. By far the best way to handle it is to click the Spam button and send them spiraling down the CyberFlush. However... I have to admit... I do have fun bearbaiting some of the denser individuals. I don't expect commentbearbaiting to become the next Olympic sport, but I find it gives me a good laugh every once in a while.
After all, how stupid do you have to be to write such... oh... ok... I think I know the answer to that!