Five Years A Swave
What in the world is a "swave.?" you ask
Please believe me when I tell you that the title for this hub came to me in a rare light bulb moment as I was watching the blockbuster movie "Twelve Years a Slave." A superb movie of course, as I'm sure you'd agree. I leave it all up to each of you to determine what the movie has to do with my story here, if anything at all. For a few reasons, I felt a connection with at least one of the lesser morals in this marvelous movie.
I'd never heard the word, "swave," so I'm guessing not too many others have either. That is, unless you're up on all the latest lingo created by the young and hip generation and you're well-versed on rap and hip-hop music. It may be too, that you have an Urban Dictionary. I also did not know such a dictionary exists. (I really do need to get out more.)
Well amigos, according to the Urban Dictionary, "Swave" is a term created in 2009 by the Brooklyn Rap duo, "H-squared." Swave is a combination of the words, swager and flavor or to simplify and clarify, it means "amazing and cool." Memorize this and use the word three times and it's yours. You can spread the news.
Now hang in here with me please. I am about to digress.
My Hubpages Anniversary
I recently received the congratulatory email we all get to honor our Anniversary with Hubpages. June 10th. represents my fifth year here. The email is a nice gesture and leaves us feeling positive and brings a sense of pride. It may even make us feel "swave," (or amazing and cool!) This year for me, my Anniversary failed to help me feel very positive about my time spent on Hubpages as a writer and active community member. For most of my five years here, I was able to feel swave. I was contented with my involvement on HP and had enough pride in my work to move smoothly along at my own pace. Recently, I had to come to terms with being overwhelmed with confusion and frustration. That's a terrible way to feel on a daily basis. I know I need to find my way out of this wretched frame of mind. If you relate to my current status, perhaps you can offer your thoughts. That would be nice.
In an effort to clearly explain what has caused my somewhat negative and disillusioned attitude, follow me back please to approximately three weeks ago. As you come along, it will help if you put yourself in my place in order to maybe feel the full personal impact? Thanks.
Shock & Surprise all in one day
It was just an average morning when I hopped online to enter Hubville, as I do pretty much every morning. The first thing I do normally is check on my numbers, views, earnings, follows, scores, etc. I like to know where I stand before setting off to read and write while noting how my fellow writers are doing. Throughout my five years here, after the first few months of adjustment and settling in, I have maintained a Hubber score between 90 and 97. Ahhh Yes, the dreaded hubber score. No matter what we're told and despite listening to the helpful veterans here, the vast majority of us really do care about our hubber score upon which we place importance and pride. Believe me I know this because I communicate with many writers and we can all read the numerous comments made by one another in terms of this score. It simply has some power over us at one time or another.
We are told repeatedly that "Your hubber score means nothing. Don't let it bother you." I strongly suspect those same nice writers who say this, feel a sharp pang when their hubber score (which means "nothing?") decreases. Seriously, if that score truly means nothing~~why does it exist? What is it there for and what if anything does it tell us? If it's useless, we shouldn't have a hubber score at all. Does this make sense? Is it me? I'd love answers.
On this particular day, as I started out, my hubber score was 92. It had remained 92 for several months prior. I had only been roaming the streets of HP for a few minutes when I noticed my hubber score dropped down to the high 80's. I took that punch quite well for the moment. That is until only a few minutes later, my score dropped to the mid 80's. Now I couldn't help but begin to scratch my head. Huh? What's going on? My score is dropping before my eyes within minutes. This was something brand new. Maybe a technical glitch, I could only hope.
I won't drag my pain on much longer. Suffice it to say that later that day, I was down to 80 from 92 a few hours prior! The next morning, I honestly could not believe my eyes. My hubber score was 76 !!! OK, I'll admit it, I felt like crying. So, I ask you, would you not be shocked to see your score plummet 16 points in just one day? I thought this a rare thing and had never seen it before. I kept asking myself what could be wrong?
How are we to know?
This mystery would not be solved by my fretting. I had to write Team Hub to find out what they could tell me about this incredible dive off the mountain I'd just suffered. I was literally desperate for any possible explanation. Did Team HP help? Yes and No but not really. Enough said.
OK my friends, hear this. For the next three days, just as surprisingly, my hubber score began to rise in much the same increments as it had decreased! Up I went to 80 to 85 to 90 and right back to the 92 I had before the huge plummet. Of course I felt better. So it was a glitch after all and has now been rectified...right? Wrong. It only took a few days to plummet once again, back down to 78 where it has remained. Frankly, I feel like it was me who fell down the steep embankment rather than my score. I'm bruised and hurt and so frustrated. This just makes no sense to me and unless and until I can understand, what do I do about it?
This is why my "Anniversary" was rather dull for me. I couldn't celebrate. I was too confused. For five years I was "swave." Thus my Title. I don't know what I feel like now but it's not really good. No, this is not a pity party. That's not my style and my friends know this. This is more like wanting some answers and hoping I can get to the bottom of this disaster. Whatever hard work or changing it takes, I've always been willing to try my best.
Five Years a Swave, my friends. Did I merely get too comfortable? Am I guilty of some dastardly deed? I hope to gain some insight. I have to fix this. No one really cares but me and I'm the one who has to figure it out and do the work.
Please know that if you are feeling (or have ever felt) down and out over decreasing scores or being curiously singled out, I definitely feel your pain. You may cry on my shoulder. If I can help, I will..........Adios Amigos.