Hawaiian Odysseus' MAD COW HubPages Award
How It Started
I've been telling all of you for months that I'm a fool.
A fool who's very grateful for second chances.
A fool who's finding his purpose in life.
A fool with a mission here on HubPages.
Your mission, should you accept it, Hawaiian Odysseus, my pesky Writer's Muse whispered in my brain early this morning, rousing me from a sleep-deprived night (thanks in large part to the Ten Hubs in Ten Days Challenge proffered by the lovely wahine in Connecticut, Ms. Karen Hellier ), is to create a Hub about HubPages writers you've encountered in the last seven months who are MAD COWS.
You're kidding, right? I mean, you got me up to tell me something stupid like that? I reached for a pillow to throw at myself, thinking I might get lucky and sock the Writer's Muse right in his pie hole.
But then I realized that this was Day 5 of Karen's challenge...and, my goodness, I only have two hubs finished. Immediately, the discouragement imps gathered at my sleepy eyelids, taunting me, tempting me to give up--What an idiot! You actually thought you could pull it off? No way, Jose! Face it, man, you ain't nothin' but a loser!
Now that really pissed me off! I hadn't worked so hard this past year and endured so much crap just to give up...no, not me! And especially not now when things are really getting interesting.
Okay, Muse, where are you? I need to make those jokers shut up once and for all. What do you want me to do?
So What's a MAD COW Award?
MAD COW, the writing muse explained, was an acronym for:
Making A Difference Cadre Of Writers.
There was only one mandatory requirement. In keeping with the Ten Hubs in Ten Days Challenge, I had to have it published before the clock struck twelve on the evening of October 10, 2012. With a grin on his sprite face, the Muse concluded, Other than that one requirement, the sky's the limit!
Yeah...I'm a fool, alright. How in the world do I swing this?
Keeping It Simple
Okay, so here's how I resolve my self-imposed dilemma.
First, I want to give props to Simone Haruko Smith for providing me with an answer that gives me license to do what I'm about to do. Thank you, Simone! And by the way, I hope to meet you in person someday. That, my friend, is one of the items on my Hawaiian Odysseus bucket list. I am so impressed with your brilliant mind and the terrific videos you've shared with us here on HubPages. Impressive!
Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah.
So, as I write these very words, it is 10:38 PM PDT on October 10, 2012, which means I have less than 1 hour and 22 minutes to complete this Hub. There's no way I can come in under the gun if I set out to do the impossible--i.e., feature several Hubbers in this Hub.
One of the things I learned a long time ago is that when I encounter a huge task, the best way to tackle it is to not try to swallow the entire bagel with one gulp, but to instead take little bites of the sugarless doughnut wannabe.
So that's what I've decided to do with this Hub. I am going to write it in the singular...that's right, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he's alive and well here in College Place, Washington, and he's telling me between Ho's to take it easy and to be kind to myself.
With that in mind, this Hub will feature ONE (uno, ichi, un) recipient of my soon-to-be-the-talk-of-every-coffee-shop-where-Hubbers-gather first annual MAD COW award.
Drum roll, please...
And the winner is:
That dashing young man from Ewa Beach on the island of O'ahu--chrisinhawaii!
When I first wrote this lighthearted article, I included five of Chris's hubs in this very spot that you're reading right now. I chose what I believed to be perfect examples of this writer's razor-sharp wit and amazing talent.
On this date, Monday, October 21, 2013, I was surprised to see that all five links were broken. Investigating further, I saw that Chris had removed all of his hubs from his HubPages profile page.
While it's unfortunate to see him leave...again...and apparently for good this time, I stand firm on what I've shared with you about this terrific writer from the islands.
Me ke aloha pumehana, Chris, and may God bless you and yours! I wish you the very best, my friend!
Why chrisinhawaii, you ask?
Are you kidding me?
Go read what the acronym means again!
That's right, you lolo beachboy! MAD COW = MAKING A DIFFERENCE CADRE OF WRITERS!
chrisinhawaii is a HUGE difference-maker!
Ever since he came aboard the HubPages cruise ship, he's been knocking...no, SLAMMING!!!...these dynamite instructional Hubs for writers. He even has a blog celebrating the HubPages experience with the web address of www.TheHubFactory.com.
This islander is the real deal when it comes to tips, techniques, and strategies for taking your Hub game to the next level.
And what a unique voice he has! He has this very clever way of using the device of asides to humorously keep your attention while slipping in a mini-lesson or two as easily as your tongue slips into haupia (coconut pudding, I hastily add, so that the same guys messing with algorithms every two months or so don't mistake my Hawaiian word for something perverted).
Chris has a reader-friendly style of writing. He has the uncanny ability to take high-falutin' da kine SEO stuff and spit it back at us in an easy to understand manner. You get the sense when you read Chris's Hubs that he genuinely empathizes with you because he never forgets how he once felt as lost as you do (LOST...now that was one heckuva TV series set in the islands...I never did figure out what happened to that lousy polar bear! Really messed my mind up, boy, I tell you what! Oh, sorry, my ADHD just kicked in again! Karen, see what your challenge has done to my mind! AAAARRRGH!) Where was I? Better yet, where AM I? Where's that darn clock? Oh, yeah, lower right of my laptop screen. Check! Good thing I had my laptop reference manual handy.
Where am I? I am at 11:10 PM and counting. This craziness is all happening right now in live action time. You are witnessing a 60-year-old man experiencing a meltdown.
A plethora of apologies to you, Chris...this Hub is meant to be a tribute, not a travesty, to you because you, bruddah, deserve it way more than me.
Okay, enough of the poor imitation of Robin Williams scrambled eggs rambling. Back to Chris.
This guy rocks, man! Check out five of his hubs to the upper right of this and experience for yourself the professional writing expertise and rapier-sharp wit of this gifted Hawaiian islander.
But be aware, when you click on these excellent articles, I will get a few cents as a result. And do you know why? 'Cause Chris, bless his heart, so generously shared with me a tip as to how one can get referral tracker credit (or debit? I'm a bit confused right now, and again, I blame Karen for my delusional state of mind!) for doing that very righteously clever thing.
Which only reinforces my gut feeling about Chris...that he's the kind of person who enjoys sharing his knowledge and is willing to help. He found me, homeless and tattered, lying on the beach at Ho'o'hownowbrowncow and took me in. I can't say enough about Chris. Then again, I might be saying too much as it is.
So go check him out for yourself. But remember, the guy is married to a wonderful woman and has two terrific boys.
Okay, then, I'm going to leave you now at 11:22 PM so I can do the Abraham Linkin thing on the right side of this. Look for the stuff that's more blue than anything else, and you shouldn't go wrong...
Like I did when I accepted Karen's Ten Pages in Ten Days thingamajig. My mind is somewhere in between GO and Park Place. If anyone comes across it, please wrap it up and send it priority mail back to me. Eh, no be cheap, brah! What's $11.35 for medium flat rate priority mail box between Hubbers?
So go...pick up some Hamura's Saimin and a case of Coke and go enjoy Chris's Hubs. And, remember, my tracker is on there, so no be shy and give generously to the cause!
Right on! Over and out...like a light!
Aloha from Washington state!
PS Kids, Don't Try This At Home!
- Please be aware that no cows were hurt in the writing of this Hub...well, at least not physically
- Simone Haruko Smith kindly informed me that one could pay tribute to a single Hubber but that these kinds of Hubs will grow idle after about a month or so; Chris and I will do our best to not let that happen; please help by reading and sharing generously
- Still looking for my mind; if found, will provide reward...that is, if I remember