How To Get EVERY PERSON ON HUBPAGES To Read Your Hub
This is a guide to hubbing that will get every person on HubPages to read your hub. WARNING: If you are unintelligent, close-minded, or a staunch conservative, this hub will offend you.
This hub is dedicated to a fellow hubber, the inspiration for this hub.
1. Use the words "Obama," "Hussein," and/or "racist" in the title.
A sure way to bring some people in, Obama supporters and haters, but this isn't enough to get EVERYONE to read it. Don't forget, though, to use Obama's middle name at every opportunity. Better yet, put his middle name in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. BECAUSE YOU GET YOUR POINT ACROSS MUCH BETTER THAT WAY.
2. Make statements that 50 to 100% of people will disagree with. Preferably in the title of your Hub, too.
These are usually statements about religion or politics. Such as, "I despise the racism that got Obama elected and his socialist views." (This is directly from a hub.) Or something about what Jesus wants. Or something against gays or abortion. Or something from a political extreme, such as "The liberals have been slandering Bush unfairly for 100 years now."
Don't forget to spell at least 25% of your words wrong, or at least use bad grammar occasionally. Again, throw in several sentences or at least words that are in all caps.
The reason that these statements will get everyone to read your hub is because the first few people who read it will get angry and comment before they realize what a sensation they will be starting. These comments will be posted on the communal Hubtivity. Hubbers who would ordinarily have NEVER read your hubs (and probably would trip you if they saw you in the street) will want to see what all the fuss is about.
3. Do NOT delete any of the INITIAL comments made to your hub, no matter how much they annoy you.
This is what will bring in those other hubbers who want to join in on the fun. People will see that multiple comments are being made on Hubtivity and come see the hub that everyone is commenting on. Also, those initial comments are the ones that are usually the most inflammatory.
4. Respond to your comments one by one.
This doubles the space that your hub takes up in Hubtivity.
5. Insult the reader in your hub, and every individual who comments on your hub.
This inspires hubbers to defend themselves and their fellow hubbers. Thus creating more comments for a longer period of time, and more readers.
6. Begin to delete comments of anyone who disagrees with you.
Nothing pisses people off like not getting to have their say against people who already piss them off. They will continue to comment, getting progressively angrier, trying to make you stop deleting their comments. Leave some of the comments, though, or else people will get tired of trying.
The best part: Did you know that even unapproved comments get their place in Hubtivity? This entices the rest of the HubPages population who hasn't seen your hub yet to come and see why all these comments are getting deleted.
Remember: Hubtivity is your friend. Flood the hub server, and you will guarantee that everyone on HubPages will read your poorly written, poorly argued, polarity-inducing hub.
NOTE: I will not delete any comments, no matter how much they abuse my hub, my character, or my religion.
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And One More Thing...
These tips are NOT, of course, the path to high hub scores, good quality content, good placement in Google searches, or longevity. However, if your aim is to use inflammatory techniques to obtain temporary notoriety on HubPages only, then this advice is your best bet.
PS: I really hope it goes without saying that this hub was written in jest, meant to be taken with 6 teaspoons of salt, and that HubPages as a community does not condone using these tactics to raise your hub scores or flooding the Hubtivity server.