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A Dozen Easy Ways to Fail at Writing for Hubpages

Updated on November 18, 2016

Some people have natural talent when it comes to doing poorly with writing for the web. Others have to work a little harder. No matter which group you fit into, the following tips will help you fail at writing for the web!

Insert Keyword Stuffed Texts Wherever Possible

Expanding your horizons when it comes to failing at writing for the web is easy to do, just follow the steps outlined!
Expanding your horizons when it comes to failing at writing for the web is easy to do, just follow the steps outlined! | Source
Be sure you don't have an attractive hub layout.  Use small images and clump them all together instead of spacing them out attractively.
Be sure you don't have an attractive hub layout. Use small images and clump them all together instead of spacing them out attractively. | Source

Attitude

1. Expect to make millions overnight and think you're entitled to immediate riches for doing the bare minimum.

Complain excessively on all forums before quitting the next day, when you don't make as much as you expected.

Not only will you not have made any money, but you'll annoy other community members and prevent them from visiting or sharing your work as well!


Learning

2. Do not read any learning materials or help forums supplied to you. These are directly aimed at succeeding as a writer and will hamper your efforts to fail. Besides, who wants to spend time learning how to be productive anyway?! Not someone who wants to fail!

Whatever you do, do not learn the site's lingo, as this will enable you to learn from more experienced authors.

3. Do notread the site's policy and procedure guide. Not knowing the rules is a great way to ensure you break them eventually! If you must read them, be sure to note the rules that will get accounts cancelled and break those rules obviously and frequently.

Editing and Grammar

4. For maximum failure, be sure to never edit your articles and never follow grammar rules or style guides. They are just there to hamper your creativity anyway!

Articles should be hastily written and published immediately. Do not edit before you post them and do not check layout or content once published.

Once an article is published it should be considered to be set in stone and unalterable. Editing old articles can attract new traffic. We wouldn't want that!

Community Involvement

5. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, read the work of other writers or interact with other users on forums or boards. This may encourage them to visit your profile or blog and subsequently click on some of your work.

Consistent Effort

6. Post as few articles as you can. The articles you do post should be posted in rapid succession, allowing your account to lie dormant for weeks on end without any new material.

Keep images sparse and either unattractive or completely unrelated to what you're talking about.  Also, if you discuss an image in your hub, don't put the image anywhere near the text in which you discuss it.  Keep the flow as disjointed as possible.
Keep images sparse and either unattractive or completely unrelated to what you're talking about. Also, if you discuss an image in your hub, don't put the image anywhere near the text in which you discuss it. Keep the flow as disjointed as possible. | Source

Creativity

7. Find topics that are saturated on google and write about them. Be sure not to include any new information and to keep your articles as short as you can.

8. Write about time sensitive topics that will fade quickly. Be sure to avoid so-called evergreen topics, topics that will continue to be relevant for a long time to come.

9. Use boring, non-descriptive, broad titles. Boring and confusing your readers are great ways to make sure they spend as little time on your work as possible.

Along the same vein, do not include clear or helpful subtitles or section headings and be sure to write in long, wordy paragraphs. This will assure that any readers that aren't sufficiently bored or confused by your title will get lost before finishing your piece.

Don't cite your sources on your media!  Be inconsistent in layout throughout the hub and ignore details.
Don't cite your sources on your media! Be inconsistent in layout throughout the hub and ignore details. | Source

Media Content

10. Don't add video, audio, color or photos to your articles.

If you must include photos, be sure that all pieces used are of poor quality and have absolutely nothing to do with what you wrote about.

For an added bonus, plagiarizing media content is a sure-fire way to have your account shut down--the ultimate online writing failure.

Social Media

11. Never share links to any of your work on facebook or twitter. Friends and Family may be interesting in what you've shared and click on the link. Especially if they know that it could help you make money.

12. Do not create pins from your articles. (You should have avoided any pinable images if you followed the previous step appropriately)If there aren't pins created about your hubs, they won't be shared or seen!

13. Stay away from any social media groups that are related to what you're posting on. It would be awful to have large groups of people who are interested in your topic find your work and want to read it!

Beginning your Personal Journey to Failure

The neat thing about learning to fail at writing on the web is that you don't have to follow every suggestion made in this article. Picking two or three of them and following them with gusto should do the trick!

Let me know about your progress towards failing, or any other suggestions you have for other people who are working hard to fail, in the comments!

Comments

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    • Amanda Marshay profile image

      Amanda Marshay 

      20 months ago from Salt Lake City, Utah

      Hahaha, this is funny. Thank you for the information, and the approach taken.

    • kbdressman profile imageAUTHOR

      kbdressman 

      22 months ago from Harlem, New York

      Thanks Martie! I knew there were a couple of hubs on the topic already and was hoping that the unique presentation would help some of the ideas stick for those that read it!

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 

      22 months ago from South Africa

      Well, this is another way to stress the secrets of success. Well said!

    • kbdressman profile imageAUTHOR

      kbdressman 

      23 months ago from Harlem, New York

      That's exactly what it is, @Rodric29! Best of luck with your book! What's it on?

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Anthony Johnson 

      2 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      This one caught my eye. I notice that I am doing some of the things that I read here. I have been going through a rough patch trying to write a book and it has sapped all my energy. Your article has given me a little more fire. I loved the way you used reverse psychology. At least I hope that this is what it is :)

    • kbdressman profile imageAUTHOR

      kbdressman 

      2 years ago from Harlem, New York

      Glad you enjoyed it, @Glenn_Stok and @lawrence01! Feel free to send those who could benefit from it on over!

    • lawrence01 profile image

      Lawrence Hebb 

      2 years ago from Hamilton, New Zealand

      Enjoyable article.

    • Glenn Stok profile image

      Glenn Stok 

      2 years ago from Long Island, NY

      The title of this hub made me think twice. But then it also made me want to see what you were up to. Very creative tongue-in-geek way of presenting these ideas. It's funny that I actually see some people doing these this. Well done.

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