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A Dozen Easy Ways to Fail at Writing for Hubpages
Some people have natural talent when it comes to doing poorly with writing for the web. Others have to work a little harder. No matter which group you fit into, the following tips will help you fail at writing for the web!
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1. Expect to make millions overnight and think you're entitled to immediate riches for doing the bare minimum.
Complain excessively on all forums before quitting the next day, when you don't make as much as you expected.
Not only will you not have made any money, but you'll annoy other community members and prevent them from visiting or sharing your work as well!
2. Do not read any learning materials or help forums supplied to you. These are directly aimed at succeeding as a writer and will hamper your efforts to fail. Besides, who wants to spend time learning how to be productive anyway?! Not someone who wants to fail!
Whatever you do, do not learn the site's lingo, as this will enable you to learn from more experienced authors.
3. Do notread the site's policy and procedure guide. Not knowing the rules is a great way to ensure you break them eventually! If you must read them, be sure to note the rules that will get accounts cancelled and break those rules obviously and frequently.
Editing and Grammar
4. For maximum failure, be sure to never edit your articles and never follow grammar rules or style guides. They are just there to hamper your creativity anyway!
Articles should be hastily written and published immediately. Do not edit before you post them and do not check layout or content once published.
Once an article is published it should be considered to be set in stone and unalterable. Editing old articles can attract new traffic. We wouldn't want that!
5. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, read the work of other writers or interact with other users on forums or boards. This may encourage them to visit your profile or blog and subsequently click on some of your work.
6. Post as few articles as you can. The articles you do post should be posted in rapid succession, allowing your account to lie dormant for weeks on end without any new material.
7. Find topics that are saturated on google and write about them. Be sure not to include any new information and to keep your articles as short as you can.
8. Write about time sensitive topics that will fade quickly. Be sure to avoid so-called evergreen topics, topics that will continue to be relevant for a long time to come.
9. Use boring, non-descriptive, broad titles. Boring and confusing your readers are great ways to make sure they spend as little time on your work as possible.
Along the same vein, do not include clear or helpful subtitles or section headings and be sure to write in long, wordy paragraphs. This will assure that any readers that aren't sufficiently bored or confused by your title will get lost before finishing your piece.
10. Don't add video, audio, color or photos to your articles.
If you must include photos, be sure that all pieces used are of poor quality and have absolutely nothing to do with what you wrote about.
For an added bonus, plagiarizing media content is a sure-fire way to have your account shut down--the ultimate online writing failure.
11. Never share links to any of your work on facebook or twitter. Friends and Family may be interesting in what you've shared and click on the link. Especially if they know that it could help you make money.
12. Do not create pins from your articles. (You should have avoided any pinable images if you followed the previous step appropriately)If there aren't pins created about your hubs, they won't be shared or seen!
13. Stay away from any social media groups that are related to what you're posting on. It would be awful to have large groups of people who are interested in your topic find your work and want to read it!
Beginning your Personal Journey to Failure
The neat thing about learning to fail at writing on the web is that you don't have to follow every suggestion made in this article. Picking two or three of them and following them with gusto should do the trick!
Let me know about your progress towards failing, or any other suggestions you have for other people who are working hard to fail, in the comments!