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Joe Must Be A Good Gay Son - Hub Comment Rebuttal

Updated on October 24, 2011

Joe Must Be A Good Gay Son! - Don't Get Me Started!

Writing a blog can often be a very lonely experience. I tend to think of it like that old Barry Manilow song, Ships where one of the lyrics is, "We only read you when you write." Since this is going out to the world over the Internet and you don't really know who is reading it, if they're liking it or going to eventually end up stalking you and wearing your skin as a housecoat, I'm always interested when comments come in. Having worked in theatre for a major portion of my life, I'm used to criticism and for the most part I've tried to learn from any of the negative comments that have come in from time to time. (The positive comments bring a smile to my face and make me feel good but the negative ones seem to be the ones that stick with me). Well, recently I wrote a blog about people over forty not wearing sleeveless shirts (Read the blog here... Over Forty And Sleeveless - Not So Much... )and someone out there named Joe wrote in all fired up and all I can say (even though I don't know Joe from Adam) is Joe must be a good gay son! - Don't Get Me Started!

Here's what Joe had to say to me regarding my distaste at men and women going sleeveless over forty...

joe says:

10 hours ago

i could not disagree more. my mother is in her early 50's & she looks amazing. tan & beautiful & doesn't look a day over 39.

perhaps it was a bad mirror or perhaps she just has the insecurities of every other gal in the world. you cannot see yourself accurately in a mirror, especially if it's not in your house.

ew. to forbid anyone on anything other than a shop for teens is just...ew. women's bodies are different & all people have their little problem areas that they're self-consious of. for you set an age limit on sleveless shirts is ridiculous. go on a case by case basis.

i would hate to be your friend. no one should trust you.

First may I say that I always have to wonder when the comments that come in aren't spelled correctly or in Joe's case why he does not possess the ability to use the shift key to make capital letters? (What is he e.e.cummings for Chrissakes?) There's a reason for punctuation and grammar, it helps us to know what in the hell it is you're trying to say. But please understand this is not about picking on Joe here. I want to help him understand what I was talking about and if I wasn't being very clear as a writer than allow me to correct this error.

I'm delighted that Joe's mother looks so swell sleeveless. My grandmother wore sleeveless tops into her eighties and I get that it can be a generational thing or that some people can indeed "pull it off" regardless of their age. What Joe didn't get was that I was talking about the forty year olds who are going sleeveless to look cool or trying to look twenty - not his mother or my grandmother.

When it comes to mirrors not reflecting correctly unless you're in your own home, I don't understand that one. I get that you may not be looking at yourself fully in a mirror but it not working correctly? I have to doubt that one. As far as my friend goes, it wasn't a case of a bad mirror or her being self-conscious, I know her and she shouldn't have ought to be wearing a sleeveless anything at the moment. We have a thing called a relationship where we can be honest and I'm thankful for it.

So as far as Joe's claim that he would hate to be my friend and that no one should trust me, he's wrong...oh so dead wrong. I happen to be a wonderful friend. (Hell, I have people in line like a good nightclub waiting to get on that list.) I don't miss birthdays, I call and stay in touch often and I don't know anyone who can read the story, "My Best Friend's Weddings"  and not come away with the impression that I'm a pretty damn good friend. I will admit I may not be a lot of things but not a good friend is certainly not one of them. And as far as trusting me, well Joe, I think that's something for you and your therapist to work out...your trust issues.

But here's the deal. I totally appreciate Joe's comments and the only reason for a whole blog about it is because as it says on my home page, "Although I've tried most of my life to appeal to the masses, I understand that I'm an acquired taste, you know, like say, Tab cola?" and because I have been blessed with Jewish guilt about everything (including someone I don't know's comments about me...hmmm....something for me and my therapist to deal with!) So I'll continue to write and Joe doesn't have to read but re-read Joe's comments again and I think you'll see what I saw in Joe's comments as he's fiercely defending his mother's rights to wear a sleeveless shirt and how good she looks in it with her tan. Joe must be a good gay son! - Don't Get Me Started!



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    • LauraD093 profile image

      Laura Tykarski 5 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      Still laughing over this one. As a female over-forty (46) I have been known to stand in the mirror and observe how after blowing out those fortieth birthday candles everything seemed to start to droop South. I work hard at maintaining what I had at 30yrs of age and some days are better than others. Gravity it seems has its own mind but yoga still keeps me in sun-dresses in the summer. With menopause looming on my horizon I plan to slack off in time and just lengthen the ole sleeves just letting those hideous-flaps sway away. I mean really compared to a butt hanging almost to the back of my knees (my late Mother's constant complaint) what's a little arm droop.

    • profile image

      40 stylish and sleeveless 5 years ago

      It is absolutely insane to suggest that because you were a sleeveless shirt after age of forty... U r trying to recapture youth. If a woman can pull it off- which i know many that can beautifully... Who the hell r u to make such a blanket statement. U need a new profession and some style tips urself dumbass!!!

    • profile image

      elle 5 years ago

      Is it a crime to want to look good after 40? That's what I don't get about this "advice." Also, whenever I read this advice, the self-appointed arbiters of style never voice the alternatives (nor do they show them). I'm thinking of a solution. When people turn 40 let's just have the government issue everyone a black burqua and give them a buzz cut, male and female. That ought to take care of that "wanting to be individuals" mindset. You think?

    • lisadpreston profile image

      lisadpreston 5 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Hilarious. Joe is truly a good gay son. I thought it was funny that Joe said she didn't look a day over 39. He didn't say 35 or 40 but 39. She hasn't hit the 40 mark I guess, in looks so it must be ok to go sleeveless. I have to go read that blog. Too funny.

    • MotherHubber profile image

      MotherHubber 7 years ago from Southern California

      I'll bet Joes' mom has "bat wings" (as my own mother calls them) and that they should be covered. I don't care how tan they are.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 10 years ago from Las Vegas

      Thanks're what keeps me laughing and going on and on and on...

    • profile image

      Huntley 10 years ago

      And this Scott - is why I love your blog. Thank you for making me laugh over my morning coffee....

    • livelonger profile image

      Jason Menayan 10 years ago from San Francisco

      Ha ha...maybe it was written by *Joe's mom*... :)