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Top 10 Ways Not to Make Money on HubPages.com

Updated on March 28, 2017
When given a computer monkeys make an average of $4.00 to $17.00 dollars per hour online.
When given a computer monkeys make an average of $4.00 to $17.00 dollars per hour online.

It seems everyone these days is writing articles on how to make money using HubPages and other content providers online. I could never quite understand what all the fuss was about as it seems all you have to do is write something interesting and people pay you for it.

In fact, so many people are making so much money so easily, I feel it has gone overboard. Money can be dangerous. It can buy things like drugs, alcohol, or the whole first season of "Three and a Half Men" on DVD. Not a good combination.

So with that in mind I put together this top ten list of ways NOT to make money on Hubpages so you stay safe and money free. Take notes kids.

10. Don't post any content


This may seem pretty obvious but believe it or not many people have over 1000 Hubs published here on HubPages.com. If you have this many Hubs you are almost guaranteed to be able to passively pay your grocery bill every month, even if your posts are filled with mindless, nonsensical drivel. Don't take any chances in the rare event you may actually post something interesting and simply stop posting content. (Or procrastinate indefinitely, this works as well.)


9. Write Articles in a different language; preferably one you have made up


English is quickly becoming the official language of the world and most everyone these days seems to be able to speak it. If you are online and can put together an English sentence with half-decent syntax and at least 50% correct spelling and grammar then you are almost guaranteed to be able to make a profit. Avoid this by being completely incomprehensible and/or starting every sentence with "Dear Sir". For instance:

Dear Sir, Giptop grobkin ulcer cantal0upe rubinicus optum primus miscus discus hibiscus catchysongfrom80s ong? Bereftacuf nitch dolly parton 72. &^? Doh.%

I just explained to you that you have a six million dollar inheritance waiting for you in a bank account in Nigeria. Very useful and profitable information if it got out. Good thing we know better.


8. Publish articles on Ezinearticles.com


Lawsuit is already pending. Mission accomplished.


7. Insult the Moderators in your article titles


Hubs with titles such as:


"Do HubPage Moderators Shower? A Fact Finding Essay"


"Top 10 things HubPage moderators do to your articles when you're not looking"


"Poll: HubPage Moderator Most Likely to be a Russian Spy"


"Fact: Not a single HubPage moderator has released their long form birth certificate; what are they hiding?"


"Correlation found between number of HubPage moderators currently online and frequency of natural disasters; coincidence or conspiracy?"


"5 HubPage Moderator Passwords You Should Know"


"Top Ten Things HubPage Moderators do in their spare time that rhyme with "Rubbing Rabie Steels"


"HubPage Moderators and Stalin; is there a connection?"


Article titles like these will likely get your article sent straight to Banville. A great way to avoid making money.


6. Employ the Kidman Effect

Source

Distract the users from clicking on moneymaking ads by posting nude pictures you have found of celebrities on the web. Interlocking combo strategies such as this and the previous technique is a surefire way to get you banned quicker and keep your pockets empty.


5. Poetry Poetry and more Poetry


Poetry is a great way to release pent up emotion, creativity and boredom in over-punctuated indigestible articles here on HubPages. They are also a great way to avoid making money. Publish poetry constantly but avoid making sense or coming off as profound or spiritual; that may backfire drastically.


4. Drink lots of Alcohol


Everyone knows Ernest Hemingway right? One of the greatest writers ever made? Well he was also a raging alcoholic. Therefore, if you too write (scribble) enough poetry (nonsense) you will also become an alcoholic – according to the correlation I just made up. This is another great way to ensure nothing you ever write makes sense. (Hint I'm taking my own advice right now.)


3. Engage in frequent and unsupervised highly dangerous outdoor sporting activities


These ideas just keep getting better and better. You can't possibly post profitable Hubs if you're dead right?


...Riight?


Right. Check and mate.


2. Publish a Book


While this may seem dangerous at first, as most publishers will insist on paying you for your "content", have no worry because publishing a book often leads to rampant and unimpeded binge drinking and suicidal depression as you hopelessly try to match your initial success and overcome your writers block and anal retentive indignation of always being known as that one hit writing wonder who never quite made it big like Stephen King or J.K. Rowling but secretly you know you're better than them because people just don't give you credit or get where you're coming from because really you're on entirely different level spiritually than most people and they just don't get the depth and sincerity of your work which takes an enlightened mind to understand and appreciate and all those publishers can really just go %^$# themselves because you know your strengths and that story was ^%^&# amazing.

...

Anyway, if you publish a book you are less likely to be spending any time on HubPages in the first place so your chances of making money fall dramatically. Another win for us.


And finally, the number one MOST IMPORTANT rule you MUST FOLLOW if you are absolutely certain you never ever ever want to make a single dime writing for HubPages EVER again is:


1. DO NOT GET A CAT


There is no better way to ensure you remain a poor starving writer then living without a cat. Cats have been scientifically proven to increase writing productivity, creativity, and sarcasm levels by at least 212%. Getting a cat will almost assuredly smash any hopes you have of not making money as a writer.

I once had two cats and had to get rid of one of them because he increased my other cats writing ability by 42%. He was making me look bad and nobody does that to me except me. Bad kitty.


Anyway, that's it for now. Stay broke my friends.

Comments

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    • catpajamas profile image

      Laurie Clark 5 years ago from Albuquerque, NM

      Funny!

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      Hi bellart, good to see my hubs are becoming a family affair, Thank you :)

    • bellartdesigns profile image

      bellartdesigns 5 years ago from Fredericksburg, Virginia

      This was great! I laughed, my son laughed and my husband laughed. You caught our attention with the "Three and a half men" paragraph. Keep writing - I will be following.

    • Anjili profile image

      Anjili 5 years ago from planet earth, a humanoid

      Your hub sounded funny but has some significant advice on the opposite end of writing hubs. Voted interesting

    • Musashi2 profile image

      Musashi2 5 years ago from San Antonio, Texas

      I knew there was a reason I never got a cat.

      Thanks for the laughs, keep it up!

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      @ttombs FINALLY someone who understands me. Recently I've tried dictating my memoirs to my cat, with little success, as their absolutely amazing.

      I've tried pounding on the keyboard repeatedly for hours on end, only to have the resulting paper published in the San Diego chronicle.

      Perhaps try going to your nearest amusement park and then writing your papers with a quill and ink pen while your riding a rollercoaster. I did that for 3 of my papers and only one of them won a pulitzer prize.

      Hope that helps.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      I write horrible satire and they read. I write horrible tales about Alaska and they read. I write blabbering poetry and still...they read. I haven't had a cat in years and my sarcasm has increased exponentially. I allow my 5 year old autistic son to write hubs for me, and still they come. That's it, I'm not longer using my hands and will begin to write with my pinky toes.

      I *loved* this! No sarcasm intended or implied, check dosing requirements before operating heaving floor jacks, maintain a safe distance from the shopping carts around you, no news at 11. :)

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Thoroughly enjoyable read. Thanks for giving me a lot of hearty laughs. Voted up & funny.

      Shared this hub.

    • DougReid profile image

      Douglas Reid 5 years ago from Abbotsford, BC

      Great hub! Loved your computer monkeys!

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      @Grace Um thanks, I think.

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      @Drew Thanks, That made me smile :)

    • graceomalley profile image

      graceomalley 5 years ago

      I am working my way to those 1,000 hubs you mentioned, when i can retire on the residual income. Of course, by then peak oil will have plunged us back into the dark ages and only the 1% will have the electricity to surf the net. Better write content for the 1%. Let's see: "We made out money the old fashioned way, exploiting the masses"? Maybe "I'm rich and i deserve it so there. The rest of you are just lazy." Or perhaps something more socially conscious, like "Pick up the rich man's burden."

      Great hub.

    • profile image

      Drew Young 5 years ago

      "Correlation found between number of HubPage moderators currently online and frequency of natural disasters" LMAO!!!!!!!

    • TheHeavyReview profile image

      TheHeavyReview 5 years ago

      Wow! Excellent job, made me smile.

    • brenda12lynette profile image

      brenda12lynette 5 years ago from Utah

      Thanks for bringing a smile to my dreary morning. My coffee was accidentally left on the kitchen counter so anything to brighten my day is welcomed!!

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      Thanks for the comment Levertis, and congratulations on your retirement! I'm barely old enough to drink but I'm planning on retiring as well in a year or two, or thirty..

    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 5 years ago from Southern Clime

      Good, interesting, informative or entertaining writing, even poetry, gets my attention and holds it captive. It also pulls my attention away from the ads.

      I am mad about good poetry and short stories. Make the "mistake" of reading works like Will Starr's, and they will keep your eyeballs rolling all over his pages.

      True, but seriously, I think that a writer would have a better chance of getting readers and ad hits by basing their writing on ads rather than other things. Even good poetry can be about the things advertised. I wrote a hub about kiddie dreams of the wild west, and Lo and Behold, ads about western-related things appeared on my page. I believe that will happen if we write about things that Google, for example, has to offer. I did not write about that subject because of the ad. I just did what I wanted, and the ads came as they always do. Sometimes we write about things contrary to Google ads, yet, some kind of ad pops up.

      I have not signed up to make money because every time I try, something goes wrong, or I cannot seem to get connected. I enjoy writing, but reading more.

      Great, interesting hub! I voted positively.

    • Reynold Jay profile image

      Reynold Jay 5 years ago from Saginaw, Michigan

      A buck a month for me and I don't do any of this stuff. Oh Well... Well done up and awesome.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      I didn't realize this was nominated for a hubnugget. Congratulations!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

      Way to start on hub pages (or anywhere else for that matter). I have to admit I was drawn to read by your picture...I like monkeys...but when I started reading, I started smiling.

      You're off to one heck of a start and I'm afraid if you keep it up you will make money ;)

      Voted up, funny, and interesting.

    • Angelme566 profile image

      Angelme566 5 years ago

      This is cute and hilarious..learn something from here..Voted up !

    • Michelle Taylor profile image

      Michelle Taylor 5 years ago from New Jersey

      This was absolutely hysterical. A perfect way to start the morning laughing!

    • profile image

      beaddve 5 years ago

      I tried to sign up the AdSense and I got rejected at the beginning of May. Now I have resubmitted it and I got no response!

      I have no clue what Google wants and they are so harsh to anyone living in Asia!

    • myownlife profile image

      myownlife 5 years ago from london

      Awesome Awesome apparently we are less than them. Cheers

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 5 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      This is very funny I will share it! Drink lots of Alcohol..LOL

    • elanger333 profile image

      elanger333 5 years ago from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

      What is the lawsuit with Ezine.com? Just curious...

    • WannaB Writer profile image

      Barbara Radisavljevic 5 years ago from Templeton, CA

      I think poetry gets more views than you might imagine, but only if people like it. Someone actually pinned one of my poem hubs, but I might have been for the picture of the mortuary on my hub "the Mortician." We actually have some good poets on HubPages.

    • catgypsy profile image

      catgypsy 5 years ago from the South

      Very, very funny! Can't wait to read more of your hubs.

    • randomcreative profile image

      Rose Clearfield 5 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

      Great job all the way around!! Congrats on your HubNugget.

    • billd01603 profile image

      billd01603 5 years ago from Worcester

      Very good Hub. I voted up and funny

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      Oh. I thought it was something obscene. Like when someone writes a really bad hub you say "Wow, that person just dropped a hubnugget"

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 5 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      A Hubnuggets is a special program of Hubpages where newbies hubs get nominated and voted. The hubs with the most votes get to be on the Hubpages newsletter. Do click on this link to read and vote http://pattyinglishms.hubpages.com/hub/HubNuggets-... I had fun reading your hub. The best way not to make money is not to write anything....heheheheh

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      @DigbyAdams Thanks!!! Whats a hubnugget?

    • prairieprincess profile image

      Sharilee Swaity 5 years ago from Canada

      Aiden, great tips! Ha ha! I love the suggestion to start dangerous activities, cause you'll die. Nicely written and congratulations on your HubNuggets Nomination!

    • profile image

      DigbyAdams 5 years ago

      You truly made me laugh out loud when I read this. I love your tongue-in-cheek style.

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 5 years ago from New York City

      This was insanely funny, I almost lost my sense of direction while reading LOL.

      You have an astounding sense of humor, earning money on hubpages is purely arbitrary, because you can write crap, but be a great keyword master, and walla Jackpot!!!!!

      Or simply be a master at being everyone's friend in the community and they share your hubs all the time, either way your stuck here forever if you really wanna earn just $100 or better. LOL

      I love HUBPAGES, I don't think we've ever met here on hubpages, but if we haven't cheers to our new digital friendship bro. You just earned yourself a new fan.

      Voted up and paying it forward in every way you can think of, and then some.

      I'm close to $80 after 9 months of pretty intense writing & sharing like a madman, hopefully it keeps me earning for the next century or so, who knows right..........

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 5 years ago from Taos, NM

      Well done! Very insightful and clever.

    • Kennedi Brown profile image

      Kennedi Brown 5 years ago from Richlands, Virginia

      For some reason my poetry hubs are the only ones that get very many views, especially right when they're published. I have no idea why. I'm terrible at it and always have been.

      I'm starting to think that people on the Internet just enjoy bad poetry like horror fans enjoy campy films xD It's like stopping to admire the aftermath of a car accident.

    • LaThing profile image

      LaThing 5 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Wow, I don't know how I missed this! This was a wonderful read, haven't laughed like this for a while! You should write more......

      Sharing, and awesome!

      Best of the best to you!

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      I was typing at the beach one morning

      Finding press releases incredibly boring

      When suddenly a comment appeared

      "It must be my mother" I feared

      But lo and behold

      There lay a comment so bold

      As to be a rhyme and diddy

      By a girl who travels from city to city

      Thank you, I replied,

      Petting my cat and stroking my pride

      The challenge is accepted and dutifully applied,

      Your invitation to rhyme will not be denied.

    • breathe2travel profile image

      breathe2travel 5 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

      I was bored one afternoon,

      About to close HP too soon,

      When to my attention,

      A comment was mentioned,

      Of a hub on how not to make money?

      You got my interest, honey ;)

      Voted up & funny. Forgive my horrible stab at satirical rhyme.

      Warmest regards~

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      Thank you John, I appreciate it. I wouldn't take anything as scripture tho; I'm sure there are some poets running around in ferraris somewhere, and some people with 1000 hubs who have paid more in electricity writing hubs then they've made from posting them.

    • John Sarkis profile image

      John Sarkis 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Aiden, you're really smart. I loved this hub and found it quite useful - funny as well!

      Yes, I've only written two narratives in HP, in part to feed my ego...nevertheless, you're correct in saying that poetry or narratives don't make much revenue. Additionally, you've answered my question about people at HP who've written 1000+ articles making some pocket change at least.

      Voted useful and welcome to HP

      John

    • lifelovemystery profile image

      Michelle Orelup 5 years ago from Houston, TX

      Well done!

    • Dubuquedogtrainer profile image

      Dubuquedogtrainer 5 years ago from Dubuque, Iowa

      Funny! Voted up! Please explain what you mean by Ezine though - thanks.

    • profile image

      Arlene V. Poma 5 years ago

      I have been on Hubpages for nine months. When it comes to chasing (and making) those online pennies, I feel it would have been easier for me to carry and give birth to a baby. Seriously. Cats hate me. There's nothing I can do in that department. If I had a dollar for each new writer who asks about HubPages and the subject of writing for easy online money, I'd be rolling in dough. Yeah, I'd be rolling away with no chance of stopping!

    • Brainy Bunny profile image

      Brainy Bunny 5 years ago from Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania

      Very funny. Keep up the good work (or don't -- you might accidentally make some money)!

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 5 years ago

      This is too funny. I've resolved to follow all of them...that way I stay out of vices--tsk, the vices that come with easy money. Love it!

    • DeborahNeyens profile image

      Deborah Neyens 5 years ago from Iowa

      Thanks for making me laugh. I can't decide which of your points was the funniest. I have three cats. I'm bound to start making tons of money soon, right? Right?!

    • Angie Jardine profile image

      Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

      Wanna buy a cat?

      I thought I was going to be okay ... I've a hub with Nicole Kidman in it. She isn't nude but I thought I was on the right track ... then I realised I've got the cat.

      Hmmm, tricky dilemma. Perhaps I could sell him at a yard sale.

      Welcome to HP ... you're a funny bloke and I love humour so I guess I'm going to have to follow ... even less time for writing - yay!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 5 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      OMG (on exaggerated tone)! You are brilliant and I say that like a "pro"! Welcome to HP!

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      I had good chuckles! Keep it going, don't stop! Cheers!

    • GoodLady profile image

      Penelope Hart 5 years ago from Rome, Italy

      Ya gat balls!

      Ha ha ha haha ta

    • mooboomoo profile image

      mooboomoo 5 years ago from London

      Brilliant!!

    • roxanne459 profile image

      Roxanne Lewis 5 years ago from Washington

      So funny and well written! I can't wait to read more of your Hubs! ;)

    • maggs224 profile image

      maggs224 5 years ago from Sunny Spain

      I cannot believe that this is your first hub and that you have only just joined Hubpages because you have so perfectly nailed it.

      I love your humour and lovely flowing style you are so easy to read I think that I am going to have an enjoyable time following you :D

      I have voted up and hit the funny and interesting buttons too a great first hub welcome to Hubpages

    • laurathegentleman profile image

      laurathegentleman 5 years ago from Chapel Hill, NC

      Hilarious and creative! Definitely a new, humorous take on moneymaking on HubPages! great job!!

    • mljdgulley354 profile image

      mljdgulley354 5 years ago

      This was a great piece to get my morning off to a good start. I agree with the rest of the hubbers who have commented. This is hilarious and hope to see more.

    • Joelipoo profile image

      Joelipoo 5 years ago from Ohio

      This is very funny. I definitely appreciate all the humor and sarcasm. I definitely agree that getting a cat is a terrible idea.

    • rasta1 profile image

      Marvin Parke 5 years ago from Jamaica

      Thanks for the tips, I am not sure about the cat thing though.

    • sen.sush23 profile image

      Sushmita 5 years ago from Kolkata, India

      Aiden, you hit the nail on the head. I just don't get it how people can really not worry about this important aspect. Making money ultimately means you need to get out of bed to spend it! Uff, what trouble. Well, my friend you missed one point though- not applying for ad-sense (but I guess you covered it in that procrastinating hint). You have an eager pair of ears here for all your good advice. Voted up. :) :)

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 5 years ago from Western NC

      What a great hub! This is your first?! Wow! In any case, this was really funny and well-written. You have true wit and grace in your writing. Nice job. Voted up and sharing. :)

    • Rachelxaa profile image

      Rachelxaa 5 years ago from Spain

      Haha :) I love it!

      Voted up and shared.

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      The poetry one was hard to write, as I quite enjoy poetry myself. So, nonsense. Hub is nonsense :)

    • FloraBreenRobison profile image

      FloraBreenRobison 5 years ago

      My favourite is number 1-halarious. My Amy would prefer I'm never online. She hates my computer. I have to agree very much too with the reference to poetry. Welcome to HP.

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      @Born2care Success is relative my friend. My cat pre-approves all my writing before publication; ergo success by osmosis.

    • Born2care2001 profile image

      Rev Bruce S Noll HMN 5 years ago from Asheville NC

      What a change of pace! I really enjoyed it! Now all you have do is avoid being a one hub success!!! LOL

      Thanks for the creativity!

    • Aiden  Hill profile image
      Author

      Aiden Hill 5 years ago from San Diego, CA

      Holy Jesus in a wheelbarrow this Hub just exploded. Was not expecting so many positive comments for such a goofy page. Thanks guys.

      There doesn't seem to a way to respond to comments individually on Hubpages tho, sadface.

      @BuyaBiz Thank you, we are on the same page.

      @Millionairetips @natasha I think the correlation mainly depends on the staring effect. I've heard Cat-like Dogs, hamsters and llamas produce a similar effect.

      @Phdhast Thanks for the kind words. I love writing about god and dinosaurs too. Will come in the future.

    • profile image

      nomadicasian 5 years ago

      You're such a funny man that I was impressed by your humor and I think that was cool. Good indeed.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      I love your sense of humor! Welcome to Hubpages. I want to follow you so I don't miss your next Hub. Can you top this one??? I voted this UP, funny.

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 5 years ago from Florida

      You are so funny, please write more humor as only very talented writers can do.

      I voted funny and awesome.

      Thanks,

      Bobbi

    • eddiemars profile image

      eddiemars 5 years ago from Greenville, SC

      Great stuff. Kept me reading.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      This is not only true, but funny as well. Thanks.

    • Natashalh profile image

      Natasha 5 years ago from Hawaii

      Ha! This is really funny stuff! Just like Judi Bee, I don't have a cat, but I do have an emotional girl dog and my roommate has a cat...close enough? Lets hope! Voted up and funny!

    • Judi Bee profile image

      Judith Hancock 5 years ago from UK

      Working on #4 as I type. Re. # 1 - don't have a cat, but will work on making my dog more aloof and independent - think this will definitely have the desired effect.

      Welcome to HubPages!

    • Bldg an Architect profile image

      Bldg an Architect 5 years ago

      Entertaining and a great laugh. Thanks for SHARING!

    • Mmargie1966 profile image

      Mmargie1966 5 years ago from Gainesville, GA

      AWESOME! Thanks for the giggle! Voted up & funny

    • Ebower profile image

      Erin Bower 5 years ago from Georgia

      This was hilarious (and contains hidden information for those that actually want to make money from writing on Hubpages; shh!). I voted this up and funny. :)

    • CASE1WORKER profile image

      CASE1WORKER 5 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

      I particuarly enjoyed the part about the Hub pages moderators and also the part about content- My cats are obviously a major force in my career-I had not thought of it that way

    • starstream profile image

      Dreamer at heart 5 years ago from Northern California

      Thanks for your entertaining article!

    • SMD2012 profile image

      Sally Hayes 5 years ago

      LOL! What a great way to start on HubPages! You have the right 'tude about it all. Keep smiling - Sarah

    • ytsenoh profile image

      Cathy 5 years ago from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri

      Good thinking.

    • sweetzara profile image

      Zara Rasul 5 years ago from Mumbai, India

      Awesome! very funny! great work! Looking forward to reading more.

    • mbyL profile image

      Slaven Cvijetic 5 years ago from Switzerland, Zurich

      O my god what a funny hub LOL! Seriously, I enjoyed all of your "tips" and if you take them really seriously it might really even help to get better and write more! The last one was really funny, but the poor poor kitty!!

      Voted up and Shared this and Awesome and Funny!

    • TheInspiredLife profile image

      TheInspiredLife 5 years ago from North Carolina

      I love this one! You are hilarious, so I have to follow you. I need a smile sometimes. Voting you up in all ways.

    • thougtforce profile image

      Christina Lornemark 5 years ago from Sweden

      This hub is wonderful and I love the way it is written! Great humor:) Welcome to HubPages. Voted up and more!

      Tina

    • I Am Rosa profile image

      Rosa Marchisella 5 years ago from Canada

      Awesome hub!

    • point2make profile image

      point2make 5 years ago

      Great hub...voted up! I don't have a cat and my dog just doesn't care one way or the other. I can't decide whether that's good or bad.........here kitty kitty!!!

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Very funny and very clever, especially from someone so new to HubPages. Welcome by the way from a relative newcomer (6 months). Or...have you been lurking and reading and learning all the secrets...and THEN decided to join and blow us away with your clever Hub? If so, good job. No, actually, great job! :)

      BTW, I know you probably know this, but I should mention that there are some of us on here (not the poets) who won't ever make money and don't expect to.

      For us this is like an old time writer's club, where you share your best work with the group, often things you have labored over for days and weeks. And you hope to engage in lengthy, intellectual discussions about life, writing, God, the meaning of life, the meaning of God.....

      We generally are not of the Twitter generation; we believe in length of prose. Some of us believe in citing our sources, and some of us (just unbelievable) even use real citations like foot notes or end notes (such prehistoric dinosaurs still roaming the earth and writing).

      Well, obviously I am one of the dinosaurs, and I am interested in your writing. For a pretty damn good selection of Hubs, if I do say so myself, which will never ever make any money, just search phdast7

      I still think your Hub was great and I couldn't stop laughing. :) Again, welcome to Hub Pages. All kinds of VOTES!

    • profile image

      icountthetimes 5 years ago

      Thanks for giving me a good belly laugh :). Voted up!

    • David Warren profile image

      David Warren 5 years ago from Nevada

      Well said! Welcome to Hubpages or welcome back! Voted up and funny. Have to run now because I have way to many cats LOL

    • kennynext profile image

      kennynext 5 years ago from Everywhere

      I had a cat, a big one, actually a lion, and he ate me, thus no money for me

    • profile image

      kelleyward 5 years ago

      Great hub! Voted up and funny. My cat disturbs my writing all the time. LOL.

    • TENKAY profile image

      TENKAY 5 years ago from Philippines

      I already have a cat. I just can't let her go... so I just have to accept the fact I am going to earn a lot in hubpages. haha.

      Love this hub... very funny.

    • JKenny profile image

      James Kenny 5 years ago from Birmingham, England

      One of the funniest hubs I've ever read. What a way start. Welcome to Hubpages. By the way, I have a dog, how do they affect writing productivity?

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma

      This was fun. I look forward to seeing more of your work.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 5 years ago from USA

      This is hilarious! I don't have a cat, so I should be rolling in the dough! I have a dog though, does that count?

    • seanorjohn profile image

      seanorjohn 5 years ago

      I must get myself some monkeys. They seem to know what they are doing . Forget the so called Gurus. Voted up and interesting. Very interesting. Welcome to the crazy world of Hubpages.

    • BizVT34 profile image

      BizVT34 5 years ago from USA

      Hilarious,"Rubbing Rabie Steels"..too funny. I'd like to make a buck on a Hub but not if it means I have to get a cat, I have my limits.

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Ha! I already beat you to it! I already do not have a cat, refuse to get one, and therefore, I will never be a success! Apparently, having a hamster does help some. Forcing the hamster to pose in photos and writing lame hubs about her does seem to bring in some traffic. Cute hub and voted up!