- HubPages Tutorials and Community»
- HubPages, the Community
What Do You Do When Someone Leaves a Mean Comment on Your Hub?
When somebody leaves a comment on our hubs, we value and appreciate it. But what do you do when someone leaves a mean comment on your hub? I would like to thank Glassvisage for making this request to me which brought about deep and meaningful reflections regarding this topic.
I recognize that there is no “right or wrong” response given the fact that we all feel different emotions related to a particular situation or event based on our current perspective of things. This is where respect must come in. Emotions that emerge from a certain stimulus are valid. We cannot keep ourselves from feeling hurt, disappointed, frustrated or angry.
After acknowledging our emotions, the question remains, “what do you intend to do with it?” Now here is where people’s responses vary. Also, this is where we tend to judge whether it is an appropriate or suitable response making it more complicated.
If we observe ourselves closely, what kind of mode do we usually take when something negative happens?
The Attack Mode
When agitated or distressed, some people tend to switch on their defenses and wear their toughest shield. Feeling vulnerable or frightened of being hurt (and for other reasons), we see the ATTACK MODE coming to life.
Unbending and stern, they face people with a stance that clearly says, “Are you challenging me? Let’s fight!” and they are ever ready to go into a battle “Hiyaaaaaaa! Charge!!!!”
Or what do you mean you are right? I’m the one who is right!
THE FLIGHT MODE
Feeling anxious or timid inside, some people tend to switch to FLIGHT MODE in dealing with negative situations. They feel shaky and unconfident and they would rather run and hide than face whatever it is that is out there. “I’m no good. See, people do not like me at all. I was right all along. Nobody can really love me for who I am.” And they scamper away with apprehension in their hearts.
For some, they just do not want to bother with all this crazy, meany stuff and leave!
THE I- DONT- CARE- MODE
The "I don't care" mode is putting a seemingly uncaring demeanor for the world to see. I don't give a damn about your opinion. I don't care if you agree with me. I don't care just leave me alone!
But maybe deep down inside you do care. You just don't want people to see it.
Others put on a haughty exterior while others wear a bored expression.
The I don't care mode makes you feel safe.
THE CALM MODE
There are also people who remain tranquil, composed and unruffled amidst negativity. They switch to CALM MODE and become still long enough to respond in a positive way.
Does this mean these people no longer feel any negative emotions? Of course they do! They may feel an initial negative emotion erupting from a negative situation but they choose to process it first and respond calmly after.
Because they are calm they can be objective and rational. They can be peaceful amidst it all.
What Mode Do You Often Use?
I’ve been with Hubpages for two years now and I have been a witness to friendship and camaraderie as well as to fights, arguments and debates. There are people who like to stir up things and would intentionally leave mean comments on people’s hubs. Others would have differing opinions and would frankly state their thoughts bluntly.
On sticks and stones...
ON BEING POSITIVE
MEAN COMMENTS vs. DISAGREEING COMMENTS
Mean comments left on people’s hubs give off negative energy. Nasty, unkind, unpleasant attacks on the writer herself/himself as a person should not be tolerated. You have the right to delete this kind of comments and report it immediately to the Hubpages Team.
Disagreeing comments on the other hand are another thing. If the person disagrees with your opinion, would you constitute that as mean? Again, it all depends on your perspective.
Suiiki says: I usually leave the comment there and calmly defend my opinion with what facts I know. It drives the mean commenter insane, and at the same time, it stops me from getting into a bad mood. I figure if someone disagrees with me they can tell me nicely, because I certainly try not to be rude in any of my own comments or in my hubs. And if they don't tell me nicely, I am unlikely to change my opinion! (I'm not perfect and sometimes I do get bitten by the sarcasm bug, though!)
Emohealer shares her perspective: I allow others to disagree, without argument on my hubs. Is it personal or about the material? If someone is attacking me personally and being mean they are deleted and reported. If it is about the hub, I always acknowledge the right to their opinion and sometimes recommend they write a hub representing their differing viewpoint. The main place I received these type of comments was when I wrote about Jesus, this is one of the subjects that can become very controversial. Even though some of the comments did not agree with what I wrote, I allowed them to stay as I do not believe it took away from what I wrote, only gave others more to think about.
cr8ve1 wrote: “I’m evil sis, remember? I go to my DARKNESS and WRITE ABOUT THEM! LOL But that’s just me! Of course, I also tend to scold them before I write, just to get it off my chest, then delete them or report them.”
I laughed when I read this one because sometimes I confess when someone is mean, I would stick my tongue out in front of the computer and say aloud,” You are a meanie and I don’t like you!”
Hey, this reminded me of my hub, Affirmations, I am Special, You are Special, an anonymous person commented: Ah! I saw the video! Frankly, I am happy that I am not special, because the two people who appeared in the video are really special; they seem to have got their nuts loosened! Too artificial people are really special. They seem to be half-mad. Well! 2 half-mad people can make others at least feel ordinary and normal - and that's more comforting than feeling special!
I confess when I read this I laughed so hard. But I reflected that previously I would have really felt awful with that comment. To be called mad is nuts! Ouchy ouch! To read my reply, CLICK THIS LINK.
You may have a different and interesting way of responding to mean comments, do share them in the comment box below.
Thank you dear readers for all the comments you have left in my hubs. They have enriched, inspired, and encouraged me and made me smile and laugh and even stuck my tongue out (once in a while) when you were not looking. Hahahahaha
By: Michelle Simtoco