YADA YADA YADA, BOO-HOO
I am truly sorry, but I have not sorted through numerous hubs to determine the hottest topics. I have not participated in a recent discussion, nor monitored a favorite blog. (I promise that I will be better in the future).
I haven’t even watched the news of late, and though I am registered on Twitter and I exist on Face book, I do not tweet and seldom show my face. I did however launch my own web site,(now dismantled). Why? Because I wanted…thought I had something to offer, but do I really?
It has been a year since I have contributed a Hub. I am surprised that HubPages has not booted me off. I have started a few, but then other lives took over mine. My days are always filled to capacity, with errands, chores, and phone conversations…manual labor...relatives moving in. I have no space and no place.
Maybe I have stretched myself too thin…tried to encompass too wide a field, with very limited resources. My performance on all formats could be compared to Katie’s on Dancing With The Stars…wooden, clumsy, without rhythm, out of step with my partner, and the music.
I dislike having to perform, or rather feeling like I have to perform. It seems somehow dishonest and contrived…not me, but someone I think I should be, or someone I am expected to be. Just as Katie is certainly not programmed for dancing, I don’t think I am programmed for all of this social networking, and it is not because I don’t like people…I do.
I like people, and I love to write, however it seems almost impossible to finish the projects I start. I can't seem to move past the beginning...I feel bogged down...moving in slow motion. Soon after I push off from the starting line I loose sight of the goal. In no time at all I find myself slogging along in the outside lane, intercepting disruptions, and wondering why I am there. The fact that I have ADD might be a contributing factor, but I refuse to use that as an excuse.
Maybe I should just accept the fact that my life is turning out to be no more than a box of beginnings.
I am exhausted, frustrated, and feeling absolutely not in control of anything.
And now - everyone say, yada yada yada, boo-hoo.
I am grateful for this avenue of free thought and expression. I feel much better…maybe I can write something.
My Best Regards