HP questions are generally conversational or a way to gage public opinion from people in the HP community. Sometimes it leads to debates.No one has their mind changed in the end.
When it comes to asking questions of people we know it's different.
Depending on what the question concerns determines whether or not the person is (actually) looking to gain some "understanding" or if it's a rhetorical question where any answer you give doesn't matter.
Being asked (why) in many instances is nothing more than a dance.
Oftentimes when someone asks (why) you did something they are in disagreement with what you did!
They either want to blow your logic/rationale out of the water or make you feel stupid for your actions. You're on the witness stand.
One example might be a person cheated on their significant other. Their mate confronts them with question (why?) all the while knowing that there is nothing that he or she could say that would make them say: "Okay, I understand why you did that now." The reality is if cheating is a "deal breaker" for them nothing their mate says matters!
The (why) question was asked in shock or simply to see what kind of "excuse" their mate would come up with.
Recently when I've been asked (why) by others I started asking them (why) they were asking me why. It's my of making it known to them that I am aware that they're really not looking to gain an "understanding".
Hopefully this allows us bypass "the dance" and have them state what is on their mind.
Lastly the person (asking the questions) is in "control" of the conversation. The person answering questions is on "defense". At a certain point many people will either shut down or snap.
No one enjoys being "grilled" or constantly having to explain themselves. It can come off as a "parent/child" exchange which oftentimes leads to resentment and passive aggressive behavior.