Hub Guilt

1. 71

   ocfirefliesposted 9 years ago

   Whenever someone comments on one of my hubs, I feel a great responsibility to comment on their hubs.  And while it may take me awhile, I do my best to visit those hubbers and read and comment on their works.
   
   I feel guilty that I have not been able to donate the time I would like to my precious HP community.  However, I can't control the events of my life that have taken priority over my time.  And for whatever reason, those events seem to keep coming in waves.  My mom passed away in May.  I had surgery on August 7th.  My dad had open heart surgery on August 21st.  I feel like this has been my pattern since joining HP.  I get into the groove and then, BAM! some life event takes me away.
   
   My question:
   
   Do you think it is okay to spend time on creating your own hubs if you have not first reciprocated with comments on the hubs of others who have already commented on one of your hubs as long as you eventually return the kindness by commenting on their hubs?

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   1. 86

      Faith Reaperposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Well, of course, dearest Kim, it is just fine!  Life is what it is, and we have to roll with the flow as it is said ...taking time out to comment and read all that those we follow publish takes a great deal of time, so don't fret and work on what it is you are able to do.  I understand completely and I just know others can so relate.  I, too, have Hub guilt, as I have not been able to publish in a while due to all that is going on in life.  It certainly comes in waves and we do the best we can.  Please know you have been in my thoughts and prayers, and I always look forward to when you do publish.  Hugs

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      1. 71

         ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Faith,
         You are so special. 
         Hugs Always,
         Kim

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   2. 82

      sallybeaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Just nice to see you Kim, definitely don't mind and am always happy to read and comment on your Hubs even if you can't find the time to do the same on mine.  Keep them coming:)

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      1. 71

         ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Sally,
         I always look forward to your hubs.  Thank you for your encouragement.  It is such a release on so many levels whenever I am able to hit that publish button.  Smiles, Kim

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   3. 89

      theraggededgeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Guilt is such a waste of time and emotional energy.

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      1. 71

         ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Knowing "Guilt is such a waste of time and emotional energy." and not feeling [it] "is such a waste" and yet I really struggle with [it].  I know the day in which I can find that (freedom) will be a beautiful day-one in which I breathe and quit holding my breath.  Smiles.  Thank you.  Kim

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   4. 88

      Jackie Lynnleyposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Many have never even tried to reply or repay visits Kim and they are doing OK; well many are doing more than OK! Don't worry about it. I get so crazy sometimes I know I have to be missing many accidentally and I trust if they are my friend they will understand and know I will get to them eventually!
      You have so much on you and I think about all of us have been there if we are not there so please don't worry at all, just know we are all sending you our best wishes and know God will see you through this as He always does who trust Him to. May He send you special blessings of joy this His day! He loves you Kim and we do too!

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      1. 71

         ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         And Jackie, I love you!  Thank you for being YOU!
         Blessings,
         Kim

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   5. 0

      Christy Kirwanposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi ocfireflies,
      
      It's a nice gesture to reciprocate with reading Hubs and commenting when you can, but it is by no means required (and others shouldn't be reading/commenting solely to get a comment in return either-- it should be because they actually enjoyed your Hub and have something valuable to offer to the discussion).
      
      I'd also like to offer my condolences on the loss of your mother and wish your father a swift recovery. You've had a very difficult year; no need to stress over commenting. Best wishes for you and your family.

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      1. 71

         ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Christy,
         
         I wish I had asked this question sooner.  I have worried so many times over not being able to respond like I wanted to. 
         
         I also appreciate your kindness regarding the loss of my mom and my dad's recovery.  I take him back to the hospital tomorrow for his first checkup since his release from the hospital.
         
         Blessings,
         
         Kim

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   6. 78

      TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I have never expected others to read or comment on my hubs if I read and comment on theirs.  We should be reading and commenting when something attracts our interest and elicits feelings, not just because someone read our own work.  It's a nice thing to do, but it is time consuming for people, especially those who work or have issues like yours.  I wouldn't give it a second thought...you've already got too much on your plate!

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      1. 71

         ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         TIMETRAVELER2,
         
         It's funny in that I never expect others to read or comment on mine, but how I feel bad when I do not have time to read and comment on the works of others.  Thank you for making feel that it is okay if I am not able to be there for others as much as I would prefer.
         
         Blessings,
         
         Kim

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   7. 91

      Genna Eastposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Kim..
      I know how you feel.  Please don't be worried about not commenting.  Sometimes, I get so caught up in commenting -- not just on HP but on other sites -- I don't have the time to read or write.  I work 8-10 hours a day, then there is home and family, and the millions of other details life serves up on a daily basis.  You have had a rough year, dearest Kim...please don't let hub guilt take over your creative spirit.  Then, HP will seem more like a job than a pleasurable and fulfilling experience.  Hugs, my friend, and brilliant poet. :-)

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      1. 71

         ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Genna,
         
         You are so awesome.  I appreciate your comments and your ongoing support.  Thank you for acknowledging and understanding, but most of all, Thank You for being YOU!  When an incredible writer such as yourself praises my work, I can't tell you how much it means to receive that validation.
         
         HUGS to you MY FRIEND, and to A BRILLIANT ALL-AROUND WRITER.  Everything I have ever read has been stellar and indicative of an incredible writer and poet.
         
         : )Kim

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2. 92

   mactaversposted 9 years ago

   Just handle what you are able each day.  Write and comment when you can.

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   1. 71

      ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you.  Thank you for your willingness to comment and for your willingness to show kindness and understanding.  It means a great deal.  Kim

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3. 71

   ocfirefliesposted 9 years ago

   You ladies are what make HubPages such a wonderful place.  Thank you for understanding and just getting where I am coming from...Feeling blessed.

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4. 94

   jansharesposted 9 years ago

   You are so sweet to even be concerned about what others think about your commenting, or lack thereof, ocfireflies. After all you've been through, you owe no one and should not feel guilty or obligated. Sorry for your losses and misfortunes. I would say keep writing, as it is a good outlet for you as you heal and recover from your life events. No worries, only love and compassion. I'm going over to your subdomain right now. No need to reciprocate. I love your poetry. Peace.

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   1. 71

      ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Janis,
      I love that you use the word, "subdomain" for that is so perfect.  And yes, the writing is that outlet that provides the peace.  Thank you for your kindess, comments and for loving my poetry.  Kim

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5. 92

   Rochelle Frankposted 9 years ago

   It's not a problem. None of us should expect reciprocating comments. It's nice if it happens, but shouldn't be expected. 
   We never know what is going on in other people's lives, but whether they can't respond, don't have time, don't want to, or just find themselves at a loss for words-- no one is obligated and no one is owed when it comes to comments.

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   1. 71

      ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Rochelle,
      You Rock!  Thank You!
      Kim

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      1. 92

         Rochelle Frankposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Priorities must be observed. Right now you need to take care of yourself and be there for your Dad. Hubpages can wait for you. Wishing you peace and blessings.

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6. 74

   Missy Smithposted 9 years ago

   Hi, I have to admit that I have already been overtaken by this type of guilt myself and have only been writing here for maybe 5 months now. I can only hope that others understand my main obligations as a mother and how that takes most of my time. So, when I do get on hubpages, I too tend to concentrate on developing my page.
   
   I do love to read other articles, stories, and poems as well, I do my best to find that time to do so. I think I've been doing better at that lately.
   
   What I'm saying is; I understand everything you are going through, and I believe others will also understand. Life is life, it's busy for the majority of us.
   
   No worries ocfireflies! Take care!

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   1. 71

      ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Missy,
      Still.  It helps to hear that others get where I am coming from...Thank You.
      Blessings,
      Kim

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7. 94

   mary615posted 9 years ago

   I suffer from "Hub Guilt", but not for the same reason as yours, Kim.  I feel bad because I have not published a Hub in several weeks.  My problems are nothing like you are having.  Mine are just the usual family problems that take my time and attention from writing.
   AND , my beloved Miniature Schnauzer has gone blind from glaucoma, so I spend a lot of time retraining her to live in her dark world.
   I'm very sorry about your Mother and certainly wish the best for your Father.

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   1. 89

      theraggededgeposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Gosh, I haven't published a new hub in months and months. Every time I created one, it got stolen and republished elsewhere. I spent so much time tracking them down... in the end I gave up. Life is too short.
      
      I feel no guilt :-D

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8. 88

   Jodahposted 9 years ago

   It's so thoughtful of you even to think of posting this explanation Kim. Don't sweat it. I am sure everyone understands that your personal life comes first, and you have sure been through your share of difficulties in recent times. Writing your own hubs should come first when you have the time, and read others when you can....it doesn't matter how long that takes. I try to read and comment on a hub by everyone who reads and comments on one of mine..but I don't always succeed when life gets busy. Look after yourself first, ok.

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   1. 71

      ocfirefliesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you John.  I am so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life such as you.  MY HP community of friends are so special, and that is why I care.  That is why I feel bad when I feel like I can't keep up with the reads and comments.  I believe we all have times in our lives when things just don't seem to calm down, and our bio-clocks and routines just get out of whack.  That is where I am right now.  Trying to get my sleep back on track and making up time with my animals.  The good news is that my daddy is getting well and stronger every day.  He is a really amazing man.
      
      Feeling Blessed,
      Kim

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