I'd like feedback on my Hub: Spiderman:Homecoming-More you expect less is for of

1. 64

   Suramya Vyasposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Spiderman:Homecoming-More you expect less is for offer (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 88

      Marketing Meritposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Just quickly:
      Do you have permission to use the photo, or is it copyrighted?
      Embed the video trailer into your article, don't just link to it.
      The article is too short at under 600 words.
      You ramble at times and there is improper use of tense on occasions.
      I read the plot, and didn't feel that I really knew much more about the film.
      I don't believe that you are supposed to use the star review capsule, unless it is for recipe hubs - happy to be corrected on this point.
      
      I feel it has the potential to be a a good hub. Read it through and see where you can add more.
      
      Good luck!

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   2. 88

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      It's best to keep to one thread per hub you want reviewed. You don't have to post to the forum each time QAP sends you an email. Just go back to the original thread and ask for people to take another look.
      
      I have problems with the title. I kind of get what you are trying to say, but really it doesn't make sense. I'd change it to "Spiderman Homecoming - A Realistic Review". Or something like that.
      
      You need an introduction before the cast list.  "Spiderman Homecoming was released... I went to see the movie last week and think it deserves an honest review."
      
      Then the cast list, using bullet points to make the names stand out.
      
      Check your typing. You misspelled Toomes/Tommes.
      
      Check your punctuation. You have already been given feedback about misplaced spaces and you haven't corrected them yet.
      
      "Peter Parker is a 15 year old boy who lives with his Aunt May ( by far the youngest aunt in the history of all Spiderman movies) and..."
      
      "Peter Parker is a 15 year old boy who lives with his Aunt May, by far the youngest aunt in the history of all Spiderman movies."
      
      That whole sentence is far too long, so break it up with a period/full stop as shown above.
      
      Space after full stop/periods and commas, never before. Go right through and make the corrections.
      
      Don't use so many instances of parentheses. They are not necessary and are very distracting. Use commas and shorten the sentences.
      
      Break up large paragraphs into smaller ones.
      
      What's that 'Rate Me' thing at the beginning? Delete it.
      
      The hub is a bit short and lacks legal-to-use images.
      
      Michael, not Micheal.
      
      Okay, now don't ask for more feedback until you fix all those errors

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      1. 95

         greenmindposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         This is the second time in a few days that you've posted this, and the problem is the same -- it's duplicate content. You can't cut and paste from your blog. There are long passages that are word for word from that site. You're a capable writer and this is a decent subject, but you're going to get banned if you keep posting duplicate content.
         Anyone can figure this out by entering a few of your sentences into Google search.

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         1. 64

            Suramya Vyasposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            thanks a lot for your suggestion greenmind
            I have edited both the articles.
            I have given proper URL and used only those image which are free and yes I have given the proper URLs also.
            I have removed amazon ads.
            Also now the spiderman:homecoming article doesn't look a carbon copy of my blog

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            1. 88

               theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

               The first image in your hub, which you have attributed to Wikimedia leads to a 404 Page Not Found and, when checking the Wikipedia entry for Spider-man Homecoming, it isn't there. So it appears to be a copyrighted image that you are using illegally.
               
               https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man:_Homecoming
               
               You have to be careful when using images. You must be certain that you are allowed to use them.

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               1. 64

                  Suramya Vyasposted 7 years agoin reply to this

                  I dont know why this issue came
                  actually when I uploaded it the URL was working fine.
                  Well, I have changed the image now and for now it is opening fine.
                  Thank You

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2. 79

   psycheskinnerposted 7 years ago

   But what about the main problem, this material is also on your blog. Hubpages does not accept duplicate materials.

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3. 64

   Suramya Vyasposted 7 years ago

   I have  removed that article from my blog yesterday.

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4. 64

   Suramya Vyasposted 7 years ago

   hey I have ried to make the article better.
   Tried to remove the punctuation errors correct as suggested above
   Though yes, the grammar is superb. But again I am an amateur.
   So I would request you to please give a feedback on the content.
   
   Can it be published??
   
   someone quoted my article to be copied from my own blog. Even though it was not a word to word copy still I have deleted ten article from my blog.
   So the copying issue is no more there.
   
   Thank You!!

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   1. 88

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I'm afraid the grammar is far from superb.
      
      You've changed the title, but it is still way too long and not search engine friendly. Not to mention the lack of space before the colon. Also it's 'Spider-Man'. Look at the poster.
      
      You also need to understand that everyone and his dog is reviewing this movie. What's the point of trying to complete with major sites and reputable blogs that have a massive following? This hub is never going to attract enough traffic to make all this work worthwhile. I've been here for years, I wouldn't even consider writing a review on this movie. I know before I start, it's pointless because it's over-saturated. People go to IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes for their reviews of big mainstream movies.
      
      So maybe you could come up with something different? 5 Things You Don't Know About Spider-Man, 3 Secrets of Spider-Man: Homecoming. That kind of thing.
      
      Remove the star-rating capsule. That alone will prevent the hub passing QAP. It's for recipes.
      
      What does 'kiddish' mean? There's no such word. Perhaps 'childish' or 'immature' might work?
      
      The review section needs breaking down into at least three paragraphs.
      
      Hope that helps.

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