My Magical Hubhopping Tour: Day Four
Starting a New Family at 50 - A Love Story by FishFearMe
This journey again takes me to the topic of parenting. I dare say that the universe is conspiring on my behalf, leading me to topics that are entirely relevant to me and elicit just the right kind of philosophical pondering my soul needs right now. I`m four for four now – and pretty chuffed that I have had absolutely no problem finding something useful to take from each hubhop thus far.
My fourth hop leads me to a lovely narrative by FishFearMe, talking about how blessed he is to have become a father again at 50. Brave man I say! I became pregnant with my first child at 31, and I remember thinking that, while in my head I still felt too young to have a child (see From Party Time to Parenthood for a more in depth explanation!), it was probably the right time because I knew biologically that proverbial clock was ticking. I never felt any readier to be a mom at 32 (the age I was when my daughter was born) than I would have been at 22. Knowing now what I didn`t know then, I am glad fate intervened and prevented me from putting off procreation any longer.
Which leads me to wonder, is there any ideal age to start having children? I am now a thirty-five year old mother to a precocious 3 year old daughter and a cheeky, yet ever-so-witty two year old son. At first I worried that I was too old. I vividly imagined through my exaggerative crystal ball that day when I would first take my daughter to Kindergarten and her new found friends would question why her grandmother dropped her off instead of her mom. Since becoming involved in several organized activities for preschoolers I am relieved to find out that my age(ish) seems to be the norm these days for having small children. Or at least those moms look my age, which is good enough fo me. If I were my mom at my age, I would have a 16 year old daughter. Yeesh. I remember being really proud growing up that my mom was so young, and now I am just proud of her for how mature she was for her age, and thankful for what she sacrificed. I guess that is one of the benefits of having kids when you are a bit older – you get to have a life first, do the things you want to do, and presumably you have gotten other affairs in order (like a career) and are in a better financial position than you would be in your late teens early twenties. On the other hand, I would bet my last dollar that I would have infinitely more energy to chase my kids around if I were ten years younger right now. And sometimes its better to not know what you are missing. My other half and I had a full-on social life before we had kids, and now we only get out a few times a year to watch a movie and can barely stay up past midnight let alone stay out past that scared hour. It wasn’t that long ago midnight was the time the party just got going. I have definitely grown out of those days though... I thank my kids, amongst other things, for giving me more to live for than hedonistic pursuits. Maybe I was slowing down anyway, they were just the much needed catalyst for change? One thing is for sure, the body ages but the mind becomes a refined version of its youthful self, not older, just wiser.
Is there an ideal age to have kids? Probably not. Each age category brings with it different assets and liabilities in the parenting equation. My theory is that having kids young makes you grow up fast, and having kids when you're old helps you stay younger at heart. I guess whatever age you do it at is not so much important as the heart and soul you put into it. My hope is that anyone who can does so with a young heart and an old soul!
Thanks FishFearMe for sharing your experience! Read more here.