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My Magical Hubhopping Tour: Day Eight

Updated on March 2, 2011

The Single Dad’s Survival Kit by heidelicious

Here I am, on my eight hubhop, and I have landed back on the topic of parenting. Now, tell me that this is just random, I think not! I count myself very fortunate in this venture – almost every hub I have landed on so far has been really useful and thought-provoking.

This hub is a concise but well-written discussion about the issues that single dad`s face. Being the co-parent of two small children with a man who is very modern in his approach to parenting, in that he is actually involved in it (and very much so), has always left me in awe of parents who do it on their own. We do it together, and it is still exhausting.

Up until eight months ago, I was home full-time with my bubbas, and now (for good or bad) I work part time. Only 10 shifts in 5 weeks, but during those 10 days, we tag-team parent. He works 7:30 to 4:00 and I work 4:30 to 1 a.m. On those days, we are super-extra exhausted. I have the kids all day and then go to work, and he works all day and then has the kids on his own. And as a couple on those days, we are just two ships passing in the night. But each time, I do spare a thought for our parenting comrades who are out there, doing it on their own, every day.

I know what it`s like to watch the clock and wait for the other half to come home, not just to share the `burden`` (it`s not really a burden, but my vocabulary lacks the right word right now) but for the adult company. A day full of playing ``let`s pretend``, mixed in with Go, Diego, Go! and a few dozen temper tantrums tends to turn the brain to mush, but knowing that help and adult conversation is on the commute home makes the last hour tolerable.  I can`t imagine what it is like to know that help is not on its way – it`s up to you, and only you. My hat goes off to you brave ladies and gentlemen.

It does make me curious to know about the difficulties unique to single dads as opposed to single moms. In my mind, doing it on your own is just blinking hard, irrespective of gender. But I do think men must have one strike against them, a point this author aptly points out: that relatives (or society), well meaning as they may be, tend to see men as being less capable of single-parenting. I don`t know how frequently this happens to single dads, but over-involvement from concerned relatives can undermine the dad`s abilities in the same extent that under-involvement can isolate him, leaving him to deal with the stress of parenting all on his own.

 One thing is for sure, in my mind at least: this generation of fathers is much more ``enlightened`` to the importance of being an active parent, and more emotionally aware than any generation of fathers before it. Yes, that is my firm opinion, take me to task on it if you will! But when I look around at many dads these days, I think ``Wow, these guys get it`` and it makes me so thankful I wasn`t born 50 or more years ago, and even more so that I have been so blessed as to share my kids with such a devoted dad. So, hard as it must be to be a single-dad, guys these days, in my opinion, are pretty equipped within themselves to do the job.

Once again, I would like to applaud ALL single parents, moms and dads alike. You are strong and wondrous in everything you do each day to raise your kids, all on your own.

Check out heidelicious`s hub here. Let me add, her profile alone is cheeky and clever enough to make me want to ``watch this space`` to see what she churns out!


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    • Nordy profile image

      Nordy 5 years ago from Canada

      Thanks moonfroth, it`s dads liked you who paved the way for this new generation of dads, and our kids have a lot to be thankful for because of it. I can`t imagine how hard it must have been to be a single dad years ago, when society was so much more `traditional`. Thanks for your comment!

    • moonfroth profile image

      Clark Cook 5 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico)

      Very much enjoyed this Hub. I was a singe

      dad a loooong time ago. It was as much hell as joy, because Society (that nice word for the tight-asses that think they get to set the Rules) wasn't ready for Single Dads. Those were the people that evaded their parental responsibilities, chased skirts half their age, and let their kids down. The stereotypes were rampant. Well, I must have done something right, 'cause my two 30-something sons adore me and we have great times together, Thanks for sharing your great story.