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Addicted to Painkillers? How I Beat My Painkiller Addiction

Updated on January 22, 2015

Why do I write....

Painkiller Addiction is more common and less talked about, but being addicted to painkillers is a huge problem. My friends have been asking me what I am doing now, "Are you working?" a question I get asked a a lot recently. Sometimes to go forward you need to look back.

However, for once in my life I found myself short of answers, so what better way, to not only explain, but to even understand where I am at myself Is to write about it. Confused? Yeah me too.

how can I tell them I am actually a recovering addict.... not of the normal "street" drugs, you associate with drug addicts, like heroin or cocaine, but regular over the counter and presecribed painkillers.

I was asked recently Why do you write on Squidoo? What it means to me and why it has meant so much to me. Writing online on Squidoo saved me, from my painkiller Addiction

ad·dict·ed, ad·dict·ing, ad·dicts. 1. To cause to become physiologically or psychologically dependent on a habit-forming substance (source)

All Pictures available to Buy@Art.com

energy
energy

Health or Wealth?

If you had to choose one...

A lot of people join Squidoo for different reasons. The money, points, the wealth of knowledge even the monsters have people joining in the fun.

So

Imagine a person who is female, tall, blonde blue eyes, popular, sociable, successful career, fun-loving, someone who always saw the positive, always there to help pick their friends up when they needed it, nothing ever being a problem, bouncing into work and bouncing back out, working with kids, so a little bit mad as well ...getting the picture? Fantastic.

Now I would like you to imagine that person hearing these words "If you return to work you are going to end up killing yourself..."

I probably knew this day was coming, but I had ignored doctors, my families and friends warnings and continued working in a job I loved. This job was everything to me, helping kids who had severe social and emotional difficulties. I threw myself into my work, full of enthusiasim and energy.

They say things happens for a reason, and I am a true believer in this, even more so now.

The company I worked for were experiencing huge financial difficulties, now this company is one of the oldest and was, most secure companies to be employed by, so if they were in trouble you knew the country was too. We had received our notice of pending redundancies, so there was a lot of uncertainty around. Financially it would cripple us if I were to lose my job.

On the day when we were to meet with Head Office, to discuss our futures within the workplace. I had also received an appointment through the post to see a top Orthopedic Surgeon, which I had waited nearly 2 years to see. The meetings were at the same time.

At the time I remember debating which one to attend, but it was my husband who stepped in, taking control, and said "You are going to the hospital and you are going to see this surgeon."

Picture available toBuy@Art.com

Accidents happen
Accidents happen

Was it just an accident

that changed everything...

Two years previously I had been involved in an accident at my work, during a technique we used, physical restraint, for using to calm a situation for example when if the child was in danger of hurting themselves we would need to "hold onto them" until they regained their composure. Although at all costs we would try to avoid it, we worked with really angry, upset and at times extremely violent kids.

I was indeed assisting in this said technique with another member of staff, and as you can imagine you need to be very calm, quick to respond. The member of staff had recently returned to work after being off for a while, after going through a divorce, and in my opinion should never have been so quick to come back to working with the children, not because he was not a good guy, he was great.

However we as a staff group had been very concerned over his mental health, not a good combination when you are dealing with children who will kick, spit, punch, call out your family, threaten your family, they would find your weakness and home in on it to get a reaction from you, you know what I mean.

The bosses seemed uninterested, only interested in the bottom line, it actually seemed more of a problem to them, than trying to give the guy some breathing space. But also as well he had wanted to show us he was "coping"

So it was already a very dangerous position for me to be in. I had a very angry child, an adult struggling to cope and myself.

When the child started to target the member of staff, of course it did not take long for the staff member to react, and before I knew it we were all lying in a heap on the floor.

I realised I had to get help immediately but there was no way I could leave either the member of staff or the child. Eventually due to the shouting some help eventually arrived, and I was able to get the member of staff away. Did I know I was hurt at this time, probably not as adrenaline had kicked in.

I stayed with the child making sure he was okay, and then left to find the member of staff, I could not find him anywhere. So my next step would be the Head of Care Officer, as I knew I had to report what happened. I filled out all the relevant forms, contacted the agencies involved returned to the Head of Care and told them I felt awful and would prefer to go home. It was only really then that I started to notice how sore I was.

(I love this photo as it just describes my life, which has been a bit like a train crash, it is avalable to Buy@Art.com

back pain chronic pain
back pain chronic pain

Restricted to my bed...

with plenty of painkillers

I was off work for a total of 10 weeks, suffering back and neck pain. Nothing else for it the doctor said but rest, and prescribed me strong painkillers. I took their advice and rested. During this time, I was visited at home and I was told that the member of staff had been suspended pending investigation, and I filled out my statement, I felt awful, I knew this guy, he was a good guy, he had just been put into a bad situation so I also stated at this time that I felt the company had let him down, by not providing him more support on his return to work.

I returned to work, feeling a bit better, (looking back the doctor did not sign me back to work, I just felt a bit better and returned, the painkillers were doing their job. I still had not managed either to speak with or find out what was happening to my colleague, to my horror I found out almost as soon as I had entered the building he was dead. When someone says you could have "knocked me over with a feather" I know what they mean.

I never had a return to work interview, in fact I was straight back into full duties. And guess what, I was partnered with a power freak, who in my opinion used restraining the children as some sort of way to exert their power. (that is another story for another day) So by the end of the 1st week back I had participated in no less than 14 restraints That weekend I spent in my bed, taking painkillers, to dull the pain.

Picture highlights back pain in pelvie area available to Buy@Art.com

pills  prescribed drugs
pills prescribed drugs

A dangerous cycle

pills, pills and more pills

I would get up in the morning, rolling out of bed putting on my clothes, and taking my painkillers, then I was ready for work.

Over the next year this is pretty much how I continued, bearing in mind I was newly married, and a mum too so life was pretty busy, I also started visiting a Chiropractor around this time, who informed me I had one leg shorter than the other, typical to the kind of injury I had suffered, funny the doctor never mentioned anythiing about this? So with the help of manipulation he managed to sort out my squint hips, however he could not get my neck to move or release one bit.

Still the pain continued, I sought other help osteopath, hypnotherapist you name it I have tried it, trying to find a "cure", still continuing to return to the doctor, who then prescribed even stronger painkillers. These helped of course. Made the day a bit more easier to get through. The workplace although very stressful, was a great place always something new happening, a new success story, I was always looking for new ways to engage the youngsters, the only problem was this restraint policy. I hated it, I hated what it stood for, and I really hated it because it hurt me physically to do it.

I started going home at night, getting through dinner, and then straight to bed, in pain, taking more painkillers, sometimes wandering around during the night keeping everyone else awake. That was just became normal to me.

Eventually after having an MRI on my neck area, they determined significant damage to the discs, because of their place they would not operate, as it would be too dangerous. This was not how the story had went in my head. I thought they would find the problem, fix it and I would be fine.

Guess what, they gave me even more medication and even stronger painkillers. And still not a clear plan of how to get me better, although I was asked if i was depressed at this time. and was put onto anti-depressants.

By this time I was a walking pharmacy, in fact it even became a joke around the workplace, if anyone had a headache, aches pains go and see Lisa. At the time I did not think anything about it, but now I am mortified.

*4 years after the incident a further MRI was carried out on my lower back revealing several torn discs with significant damage. 4 years later....*

Saftey plan at work
Saftey plan at work

Isolation

they called it a "safety" plan

My sickness level was really high, from someone who had never been off work, to being off work every month or so. I was questioned about it, not in a nice way either, so I took the letter I had from the consultant in and the letter from the MRI results. I was really nervous and upset, In the back of my mind I remember how they had made fun of my colleague who had shown weakness, but they were asking questions about my health so I had to tell them. I was relieved when they said they valued my contribution to the school and would like to place me on a "safety plan". Reducing my direct involvement in the dangerous more physical side of my job.

It was at this time I took out a personal injury claim, the work had admitted off the record, they had let me down, not taking more care of me after the initial injury, so I thought this would not be a problem, and I had to think of my families future, if this is how I was at this age what will I be like in 20 years time? But yet I knew also what the management thought of people who did that too.

I was worried though. I knew the staff were unhappy, as they thought I was receiving special treatment, basically they had to work a little harder at trying NOT to restrain the kids, as I would not be able to assisst them.

This picture is of a guard protecting the Mona Lisa, during an exhibition in the US - this picture can be bought @Art.com

A safety Plan?

For me or the kids

Interesting observation - during this time of "Should not be involved in physical restraints" I still worked with the same kids, who had the same difficulties, yet did not have to restrain them? This was gong to be a huge challenge, little did I know it was in fact the staff that were more challenging on this one. I found I would sometimes be sought out by the kids saying "Don't let them restrain me?" I did inform management of this many times however they kept the restraint policy in place. For who's safety?

Whilst on my "safety plan" I probably managed to achieve more positive work than at any other time in my career in Child Care

Staff started complaining, that they felt at risk and undermined, because if they felt a young person "needed restrained" and I was present the kids knew I could not participate, due to my back problems, and would play on this. The staff were feeling unprotected and that "I was more a danger being there". I still don't know how a child "needs to be restrained", or "put down" which was a favourite term amongst the staff?

Funnily enough the school had had a visit form the Care Commission Scotland who had highlighted they were extremely unhappy about the high number of restraints and wanted this number lowered. Management used myself as a role model, claiming if I could work with the same kids without restraining them, then so could they, so not only did they see me as a danger, I was also being shown favouritism by the management, I was in pain, I just wanted them to see that.

I started to distance myself from people, I could see they did not want me there. In a day I was taking a huge amount of mixed prescription drugs, and I had started taking over-the-counter prescription tablets. To dull the pain. I was now known as "Mona Lisa" having my face super imposed into the famous painting and put onto my desk.

Mona Lisa
Mona Lisa

Even though I was on a "safety plan" this did not really stop the potential of me becoming involved and sometimes I just had to become involved in something that I know my body would react to. More time off work, more visits to the Pain Specialists. More or different drugs. At this time I was taking prescribed and those available over the counter. And drinking coffee, lots of it, and by the gallon. Anything to keep me going, I was afraid if I stopped my body would collapse too.

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Books available to understand addiction - to prescribed medications

pills-  medication - addiction - codine
pills- medication - addiction - codine

Chronic Pain, Chronic Fatigue

Depression

That day I sat in the consultants office will be etched on my mind for the rest of my life, how was I killing myself continuing to work in the environment I was working in?

I was addicted to Painkillers and Prescribed Drugs. ( I was actually addicted to the Codine, Codeine is found in opium and given to provide pain relief and often make a person feel sleepy. They may also dull the senses and cause changes in both mood and behavior, and highly addictive)

I had become dependant on the very things given to me to help me manage my pain, now it seemed they were managing me and I was taking them just to get through the day.

Although I did not see it at the time, I remember feeling how my mood was changing, and how I would begin to sweat, get irritable, reach for the tablets and take them, just to feel normal. My life as I knew it crumbled, even writing this I have that sick feeling of shame in my stomach, I have never touched drugs, I know of people who have experienced drug taking, and it never interested me, so imagine how I felt when I was told this news. I was told if I continued to go the way I was going I would end up killing myself.

How did this happen, well all of the above, and some more.

I never returned to my work again. I am now registerd disabled, due to physical and emotional limitations, I suffer Chronic Pain due to the back and neck injuries, the initial injury never being able to heal correctly or properly, and each restraint thereafter, putting more and more srtess on these trigger points.

I am now at a stage, 2 years later, where I have made my way from weekly assessment of prescribed drugs to fortnightly, and I now no longer take any over the counter (extra) medication.

I suffer Chronic Fatigue and have a clinical diagnosis of "severe" depression, Irratable Bowel Syndrome, Migranes to name a few.

My list of medicaton is huge, leaving the surgery not with a few boxes but a bag. I now take 32 tablets a day. This is honestly what I am meant to take.

crying - emotional - woman
crying - emotional - woman

You will never work again...

I also remember the words "you will never work again" well those were like a kick in the stomach, I had always worked. Everybody needs a purpose. I had studied hard and had a very good career. I never returned to my place of work after that day. Long story short, I took redundancy and then medical retirement.

At that time I suffered some very tragic news, and an abusive ex-partner wanting to stir up trouble so losing my job did not matter, there were days when I could hardly bite my fingernails, never mind worry about a job, and I spent my day sleeping and crying.

I was then served a kick up the butt, when my ex-partner who is an abusive control freak wanted to take me to court for access to his daughter that would need to have been over my dead body.

This seemed to jolt me into the here and now, but even this was a slow journey, setting small goals to get into a routine where I could still have some quality of life, but more on a timetable. This timetable eventually meant that I could do more, and more. Now when I say more, I mean being out of my bed for 2 hours at a time, not just up for the toilet. Everybody in my family rallied round, taking turns, taking care of me, I don't really remember that time, maybe I don't want to my mother-in law was the best support to me, I wonder if she really knows how much she did for me at this time?

I seemed to be on the right path with my medication and was no longer abusing it, (god that is hard for me to write) I felt lost. I had nothing to do, I could not do much without causing aggrivation to my neck and back, sometimes even walking is hard, if I pushed myself and went against the pain signals my body cried out for piankillers.

There is a funny story that my neighbour tells about this time, she used to come over every so often, and I thought she was just being nosey, she was really annoying, however my husband used to keep the front room light on, and if it did not switch off after my daughter went to school then she would know I had went back to bed and would come over to see I was okay, meaning I had to get up and could not go to my bed a wallow in self pity. I did curse her though.

buy picture @Art.com

footprints - small steps - pace
footprints - small steps - pace

Baby Steps

learning to pace myself

As time was going on, and I was seeing some improvements, I had to learn to PACE myself. Take my time, break things down into manageable pieces.

I was finding my mind was bored, so I would aimlessly surf the Internet. I liked reading peoples stories, and how writing had helped them put to rest some of their demons and were enjoying expressing themselves.

It fascinated me, I was never really technologically minded, so the running of a website was alien to me. I had landed on a Squidoo page. The more I clicked the more interesting subjects and people I found. Some people had hundreds of pages, some pages about their work, some said they had never written before and that Squidoo allowed them to publish their own work.

I have always loved writing, although doing nothing with it. I signed up there and then. And created my very first web page. It was an amazing feeling. Not only had I done something I had never done before, but I was on the World Wide Web. I sent my page to some of my family asking them what they thought, I remember feeling so sick, wondering what they would say, but they all agreed this was indeed fantastic, and would be a great way to channel my frustrations or energy, so I made some more pages.

I started to get feedback from other Lensmasters on Squidoo, giving me help and information on how to make better pages, this was so encouraging, that I made even more pages. Building up a lovely network of on-line friends, all having the same goal to create good high quality web pages. Oh and did I mention the ability to earn some extra money for your favourite Charity or yourself?

Now instead of focusing on the pain or discomfort I am in, it is not the main focus in my life, anymore. Yes I have my bad days, where I can do nothing but read, I love to read other peoples stories too, but it has made me realise an important thing.

Disability?

or ability...

I thought along with my limited physical ability, and my mental health issues, I could no longer be this bright bubbly personality I had always been, I could not do what I used to be able to do, I was confined, I was restricted. Wrong through my writing I have indeed found my lost confidence, I have found I still have the ability to make people smile, I can support and encourage, I think it is just in my nature. And yes I can still bounce in, okay on a screen, but it has made me look differently and more positively at my situation.

My husband, friends family all love to have me back, sounding better, happy, cheerful, positive again and my daughter loves the fact she can join in helping me create pages (she loves to be the model if I am taking pictures etc)

I am glad I found Squidoo, or maybe like the day I went to the consultant instead of turning up to hear about the future of my job, Squidoo found me.

Where am I now

Well ....here of course

I still have the pending court case against my work going on, but hopefully that should be put to rest this year, they have accepted liability. In hindsight If I had known the struggle it was to take out a personal Injury Claim, the extreme emotional pressure of it , I maybe would not have done it. They even called into question significant events in my life, they used losing a baby 12 years ago, or the fact I had left an abusive relationship, or my mum had died of cancer and more all before I even started working there, that was one of my strengths I was always a "coper" emotionally. However after extensive psychological assessments they have indeed agreed because I was struggling physically with pain every day, this in turn had affected my emotional capacity to cope, resulting in a vicious cycle, due to the incident and subsequent incidents thereafter, they were just trying to get off with taking the full blame of not protecting me as an employee in the first place.

Since joining Squidoo / now Hubpages I have, made lots of individual web pages. I have learned about SEO, HTML, CSS and all the lettered words you can think of related to computers. I have built my own online presence and developed my Hobby into an online business. I have a made friends that are both helpful and supporting, without knowing me, as a person, only my online work.

I have had my work reviewed and have recently been interviewed by a UK national newspaper about why more and more people are turning to the power of the Internet to make an extra income by reviewing products online.

I do not know where my future is heading, but If you had told me a few years back I would be, sitting working away, writing online, I'd have called you crazy.

Your Opinion is important to me.

I have very mixed views about how easy it was for me to become dependant on these presecription drugs, until I visited the Specialist who really shocked me with his assessment all I had to do was phone up and re-order the prescription, I was even able to do that with sleeping tablets. In my view this was all too easy, and I never really moved forward with a diagnosis in this time, they just kept giving me stronger and stronger painkillers, please answer the question below, you also write an expalnation for your answer if you wish, thankyou

Do you think Doctors hand out prescriptions to highly addictive drugs too easily

See results

Where am I now

an update.

27th April (Ironically Freedom Day, S Africa)will always be a very special day for me....

I wanted to let people know, about how this journey is going and the best way was to write about it, I have found so many supporters through this page, and more understanding of my circumstance from friends and family, so I felt it only appropriate to let you know how my situation has developed.

Updated:

Still working away at Squidoo, (Now Hubpages) and love everything about it. From the community to the amazing people I have met.

I have managed to more than 1/2 my intake of prescribed painkillers, this was tough, really tough, and many a day I just spent in bed. I decided after reading this lens again, this was no way for me to continue, I was still in pain after taking all the medication, so what was the harm, in a review of my medication with a Top pharmasist 2 of the tablets I was taking counteracted each other and their effects? So I am pleased to say I am now down to around a respectable number. No more buying over the counter tablets.

I also feel as though I have emerged from a deep brain fog, And although I have symptoms that initailly led me onto taking more tablets, I have found alternative methods for coping with Pain and fatigue

The biggest news is, I received news from the 6 year court battle that they were willing to negotiate and settle, I have always stayed true to myself, and wanted a fair outcome, It has been told many times to me and my family how wrongly I was treated by my employer.

The employer is probably one of the oldest most established organisations, and it was indeed very daunting. to see my name vs them, on the documentation, I felt sick every time I thought about it.

I have had my full life picked apart, I have had my full life put out there, and this perhaps explains why I have written a lot about my personal stories. May I add that is only some of the disasters in life I have got through, but the ones I felt it time to reflect and share. I have had my brain picked apart by some of the countries top doctors, who all had the same opinion of me, some of their words really did mean a lot to me, as at times I did start to doubt myself, but as I was aware they will try to twist it to make their case more stronger, and the levels they stooped to were beyond belief at one point, and as the blows would come I wanted more and more to just disappear and give up.

Yes I have had a tough life, and faced many challenges, but that should not affect the outcome of how my employer treated me.

The effect and impact of that accident on the rest of my life. The evidence was proof enough without an evidential hearing.

Would I say it has been easy, no way...I had a lot of support from my family, I could have walked away quite a few times, but the most hurtful thing were the people who were unfortunately involved, as in the case of most accidents who chose to turn the other way and not be involved. but on the same hand people who I had worked with for a considerable amount of years, stood by me. And gave me their full support.

I feel very strange, happy, nervous, excited, and sad, and I think it will take me a while to get around the fact it is over. And this is now time to put this behind me and I can now think about my future and make some new memories.

I would really like to say thanks to my family (I know you read my work, and I appreciate your support lol....and to those who chose to turn the blind eye when they saw wrong, I wish you well, but I hope you never need someone to come forward for you.

Lisa

Please write your comments here, - non-squidoo members are welcome to leave their messages too.

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    • KathyMcGraw2 profile image

      Kathy McGraw 3 years ago from California

      Hi Lisa,

      I don't know how I missed this when it was written, but today it has an eerie effect. It was just yesterday when I was talking to a Dr. I told him that people could easily become addicts with all the pills they give you for stuff. He had asked me if I was taking meds for X, and I said no I learned it could be resolved with diet. He asked if I was taking meds for Y, and again I said no. But in those cases and more they either gave me meds or suggested I take them. Not happening. And as for the pain pills never in my life have I heard of pre-emptive taking meds for pain. Why would I take meds before needing them? Yet that is exactly what many of the strongest pain meds require.

      Anyway....I read this whole thing, and congratulations on getting the meds under control, finishing your case, and moving on with your new reality. Proud of you!~

    • profile image

      TanoCalvenoa 4 years ago

      What an awful set of difficulties you've dealt with. I'm glad you can write about it like this and assist others with the valuable information you have as a result of this adversity.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      I haven't been addicted but I do feel some GP's I have met don't tell you the full. I had a coil fitted which I was told may affect me although I had not idea it could have a downside to my firtiltiy and i think it has I had no trouble in the past concieving then now I can't catch my beautiful baby I have so longed for. I have spoken to very many women in the same boat who all feel their coil effected them too. I was told it was all fine but I'm not am I?

    • VisFeminea profile image

      VisFeminea 6 years ago

      What a story!

      Thank you for sharing.

      Love

    • katiecolette profile image

      katiecolette 6 years ago

      Lisa, you are such a strong person! I am hoping that you get a very fair settlement from your former employer. Glad you have such a great family and friends to support you through the tough times. Wishing you the very best!

    • Morgannafay profile image

      Morgannafay 6 years ago

      This was a very moving story. I'm glad that case is finally over for you! Keep on moving with your head held high. You deserve all the best.

    • CruiseReady profile image

      CruiseReady 6 years ago from East Central Florida

      Thank you for sharing your story, Lisa. What a journey you have been making, and you are so brave to share it.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Very moving.. and hit home for me.. I suffered herniated discs in L3-L4 resulting in terrible and sometimes near suicidal sciatic pain.. I've never had an addictive personality (unless cookies and milk count) so for me to be 'hooked' for a short time on Percocet was a odd feeling. I can only imagine how you've suffered.

      Thanks for sharing

      Dave

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Wish you the very best. I am sure you are at home amidst a lot of friendly and familiar sea critters. Take joy and have a lovely day. :)

    • MagpieNest profile image

      MagpieNest 6 years ago

      A very interesting read. All the best Lisa.

    • profile image

      Tamara14 6 years ago

      Dear Lisa, I'm just overwhelmed! I can't believe I read this lens just now, although it's never too late :) I have my own issues in life, like everyone else I guess, but find it still too hard to make a lens out of it. So I can truly know how hard it was for you to write this and I really admire you for that. As for your current condition, I truly believe the "modern" medicine has done just about everything it can do. I experienced something like that when my mother was dieing in hospital and doctors just treated symptoms, because they simply didn't know how to find the cause. I have very little faith in "here's the pill" kind of medicine and I hope you'll find some extra strength to try a bio energy therapy or a good homeopath, because those approaches are very effective and treat not only the body, but the mind as well. I have my own daughter' case to prove it and I wish you felt the same benefit. Thank you so much for sharing this with the rest of us Lisa. You are my role model when it comes to Squidoo, but now you might be the very reason I come up with a personal lens myself. Sorry for this long comment :) GOOD LUCK!

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Congratulations and besides that, it Just Plain Fun to Write on Squidoo!! :)

    • profile image

      Ruthi 6 years ago

      Good to hear the outcome is positive, but most of all it is great to hear that you will be just fine -- better than fine!

    • pkmcruk profile image

      pkmcr 6 years ago from Cheshire UK

      I am not sure how I had missed reading this before! Thank you so muchy for sharing so much of you and your journey. I feel I now know someone a little better whom I already had a lot of respect for and that has increased even more :-) Blessed by a passing Squid Angel

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Belated Congratulations on LOTD.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Hi sweetie! ~ I'm just stopping by this lens again.

      Congratulations on the LOTD! Awesome lens.

    • WindyWintersHubs profile image

      WindyWintersHubs 7 years ago from Vancouver Island, BC

      Congrats on LOTD! Follow your dreams and your heart. Thanks for sharing your story. :)

    • howtocurecancer profile image

      howtocurecancer 7 years ago

      My mom is a breast cancer survivor, unfortunately my mom has no money to become a thyroid cancer survivor and this is why I am trying so hard and work overnights on Squidoo and Bukisa to make some money to buy her treatment..... Loved your lens.

    • profile image

      wawancash 7 years ago

      Nice story, thx for sharing..

    • SweetMarie83 LM profile image

      SweetMarie83 LM 7 years ago

      Wow, what an ordeal you've been through. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, I'm sure it couldn't have been easy but I'm sure that reading it has helped so many people - it's always nice for people to know they're not alone and that someone else is going through or has gone through something similar and that there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. I'm glad you found Squidoo, or that it found you, and that it's been cathartic for you. I'm lensrolling this great lens to my 'Why I Love Squidoo' lens. :-)

    • Geekgurl profile image

      Kimberly Hiller 7 years ago from Chicago

      Wow! Is what was constantly running through my mind when I was reading your story. I have dealt with a lot of people in HR (Human Resource) that were on LTD or had severe medical issues. It's just amazing you can be perfectly fine one day and then something happens and it completely dominates your life. Then, things just starting falling a part all around you and you don't even know what's happening in your life anymore. You are a such a strong person to continuously battle each day to find things that interest you and live your life. Believe me, there are some people that just kill up completely (either killing themselves or no one hears from them ever again) that it seems like they just let all the doors shut and never looked for the open one. Your strength and determination are admirable. Great lens!

    • ZenandChic profile image

      Patricia 7 years ago

      Thanks for sharing this story!

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Congratulations on being featured by the SquidTeam's Best of Standout RocketMoms

    • profile image

      RGebbiePhoto 7 years ago

      Thanks for sharing, it is not always easy to talk about situations when you are the subject. I was also injured on the job, it has been many years ago and it takes a great deal of effort each day to cope with my chronic pain. Best wishes to you and your health.

    • tobejim profile image

      tobejim 7 years ago

      I used to work with kids with emotional behaviour disorders - something I couldn't go back to in all honesty. I completely understand why you got out when you did - why you had to.

    • profile image

      CofCJenny LM 7 years ago

      Wow...what a crazy situation. Sorry that you're still going through all of this but good for you for fighting through it! Keep going, it will continue to get better :-)

    • JRMonnier1 profile image

      JRMonnier1 7 years ago

      It's funny how employers expect us to be good, responsible people while conversely many employers are not. I've seen good people get hurt on the job and consequently their employer turns their back on them. Thank you for your story. You are truly an inspiration!

    • profile image

      ReviewsCertified 7 years ago

      Thanks for this awesome lens mate :D

    • sponias lm profile image

      sponias lm 7 years ago

      I hope youâll feel strong again. Congratulations for creating nice lenses!

    • norma-holt profile image

      norma-holt 7 years ago

      Always knew this lens was a winner. Congrats on LOTD and for the story of hope and overcoming adversity. It is featured on Squidoo LOTD lenses.

    • mehulsey lm profile image

      mehulsey lm 7 years ago

      Thanks so much for your story---people often tell me I work too hard, but it's my hobby. I almost don't know what to do with myself, if I'm not working!

    • profile image

      DestinationsHoliday 7 years ago

      Excellent lens! Congrats on LOTD! I had the same problem with doctor giving prescription to my daughter! That is something I need to write about in the near future. Thanks so much for sharing and you are the inspiration!

    • Krafick profile image

      Krafick 7 years ago

      Great lens, Lias Auch. I too have had very bad experience in life and reading your lens has given me inspiration to write one about it.

    • profile image

      JanetClifford 7 years ago

      This is an amazing life story but you amazingly strong to still be going with all that life has thrown at you, well done, well done, well done.

    • balancebydesign4u profile image

      Carol 7 years ago from Arkansas

      I am so sorry that doing a job you loved and found so rewarding caused you such pain. Thank God for Squidoo! Thank you for sharing your story.

    • profile image

      lylehicks 7 years ago

      Really an exceptional lens and story...truly insprational...keep up the good work

    • kateloving profile image

      Kate Loving Shenk 7 years ago from Lancaster PA

      Thank you for your honesty! Congrats on LOTD!

    • SandyMertens profile image

      Sandy Mertens 7 years ago from Frozen Tundra

      I swear I left a comment on here. Congrats on you LOTD. Well worth it.

    • kougar lm profile image

      kougar lm 7 years ago

      Thank-you for sharing your honest story of faith, hope and inspiration. Congratulations on LOTD. Great lens.

    • Brite-Ideas profile image

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 7 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      Congratulations on your progress, and facing your challenge with grace and bravery. I really believe that in this world of go, go, go, and competition and a lot of negativeness blasted towards us, that what we really want to know is that "we matter", "that people care", and that we are "making a contribution to the greater good". IPersonally I think you are making this contribution, with this lens, and in many other ways I'm sure. I have a poem video that's on my main site, drageda.com, called "Remember Who I Am" - I wrote it years ago - Today, I dedicate this video to you.

      All the best,

      Barb

    • divacratus 2 profile image

      divacratus 2 7 years ago

      I think it was really REALLY brave on your part to share your story to us like this! Hats off to you!!!!

    • profile image

      SugarB 7 years ago

      Congratulations on the progress you have made! Your lens covered a multitude of social issues that people need to give more thought - prescription addiction, unsafe/unfair workplace, methods used to treat troubled kids, delayed or incorrect medical diagnosis - wow! It's great that you have found Squidoo so helpful throughout your challenges.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Your story was so interesting! You kept me captivated. I'm glad you found Squidoo! It's a great community for sure. I wish you all the best!

    • Sharlee01 profile image

      Sharon Stajda 7 years ago from Shelby Township Michigan

      Thanks for sharing. It was hard for me to vote, I am a nurse, and it's hard to say in general that Physicians over prescribe pain killers, and sleeping aids. It's like in any profession, you have your bad. however, you have your very good... One way or the other, many people fall through the cracks. As did my own brother, and 84 year old mother, after a hip surgery. I give you props for writing this wonderful article... Shar

    • ctavias0ffering1 profile image

      ctavias0ffering1 7 years ago

      As a fellow sufferer of pain and also registered as disabled, I have to agree with everything you say about the (mis)management of pain by the medical profession. Heavier painkillers are not the answer and when this was suggested for me after a meeting with a consultant, I actually ceased taking painkillers altogether.

      The doctor had previously also tried to give me anti-depressants for my pain and got them back with only two out of the pack, this was prompted by an attempt to play Trivial Pursuit which I normally had no problem with. It was as if I had lost all the answers.

      I manage my pain with homeopathy because it works for me, also treats my hayfever better than any 'conventional' medicine can.

      And I totally agree that you can have a very fulfilling life, even if you're housebound, in the online environment. Writing on Squidoo is a great way to communicate and find like minded individuals, so many with their own inspiring stories.

      Thanks for sharing yours and good luck for the future.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      You are indeed brave to share such a painful story in such an honest way. I think writing is a therapy that several of us enjoy right along with you. Thank you for sharing your story. Blessings to you for a continued recovery, both mentally and physically.

    • Deborah Swain profile image

      Deborah Swain 7 years ago from Rome, Italy

      congratulations on making LOTD and thank you for your honesty in sharing your story - your words will surely help others...

    • profile image

      Steve-SEO-UK 7 years ago

      You've had a tough time. Wishing you all the very best for the future and thank you for sharing your story.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Congrats on LOTD!!! I'm glad I stopped by to read this. I currently work with emotionally and behaviorally disturbed children and recently turned down a new position where I would have to be trained to restrain kids. My gut just told me not to do it so I declined the position - I can't see any humanity in that. I totally understand your feelings on this. Good luck to you on your journey!

    • StephanieB-Writer profile image

      StephanieB-Writer 7 years ago

      Congrats on making lens of the day! I'm glad you found something to help after all you've been through

    • profile image

      miaponzo 7 years ago

      Thanks so much! I write for similar reasons :) and have had my share of sudden disabilities, but what you do with it depends on your outlook on life.. I happen to be an optimist :)

    • profile image

      SuperYoss 7 years ago

      Thank you for this lens, I will share this article with all my friends. I've a lot experience with my life, and love to knew that we can encourage people with this articles.

    • makingamark profile image

      Katherine Tyrrell 7 years ago from London

      Many congratulations on Lens of the Day - it's a very special feeling and you thoroughly deserve it.

    • nightbear lm profile image

      nightbear lm 7 years ago

      I loved your lens, your personal and real journey through life. I am sorry for your injury and your problems afterwards but I am thrilled by your victories. Congratulations on LOTD well deserved.

    • SylvianeNuccio1 profile image

      SylvianeNuccio1 7 years ago

      That is a very beautiful lens. Thanks for sharing.

    • SoyCandleLover profile image

      BW Duerr 7 years ago from Henrietta, New York

      I'm so sorry you are going through all that, but glad you found an outlet that you love here at Squidoo. Congrats on your purple star and LotD.

    • Mickie Gee profile image

      Mickie Goad 7 years ago

      What an experience. Chronic pain is no fun. Family members cannot really "see" the pain so they cannot identify with you. I know, because I have been a family member of a person with chronic pain and have sometimes been unsympathetic. It is hard on everyone.

    • Encourager LM profile image

      Encourager LM 7 years ago

      Thank you for a great lens. For sharing straight from the heart. Recently I have got involved in a program of therapy called SOZO. Sozo means healing and wholeness in Greek. Sozo is unique in the therapy that is offered. It is a very gentle but thorough therapy that helps people to be set free from various influences that have affected them and cause them to go through life in chains! My wife and I have been trained in Sozo and have seen some amazing healings take place. You can find out all about SOZO if you Google "Bethel Sozo". One of these days I will have to write a lens on Sozo. We are also involved in Healing On The Streets where we pray for people. Many times we have seen people with one leg shorter than the other completely restored with no manipulation! Hope what I have shared is useful. If there is anything I can do to help get in touch. Blessings.

    • profile image

      quicpost 7 years ago

      Like your honest article. Can't wait to see more articles from you. Take care and did you know that Dr. Ozis online as well as on television? Dr, Oz is very up-to-date, seems compassionate and is Mon-Fri too. He has a contact area too. He is married so he may understand a little more about women too. Looking forward to reading more of your articles!

    • Momtothezoo profile image

      Eugenia S. Hunt 7 years ago

      Excellent Lens!!!!

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      Soulshine_Expressions 7 years ago

      Very moving story! Congrats on your LOTD! Best of luck to you! :)

    • Charlino99 profile image

      Tonie Cook 7 years ago from USA

      Congratulations on a well deserved LOTD. May your days be filled with sunshine.

    • journey103 profile image

      journey103 7 years ago from USA

      Thanks for sharing this very personal story. I can see where you had a tough time and were torn, but you have risen above the struggle. Nothing can replace good health and well being, not even a job you enjoyed. Stay well and Congrats!

    • devilsworkshopc profile image

      devilsworkshopc 7 years ago

      Thank you for sharing your story.

    • Reginald Reid profile image

      Reginald Reid 7 years ago

      The Autobiography of LisaAuch

      Bestseller!!!!

    • David Stone1 profile image

      David Stone 7 years ago from New York City

      Already "liked" last week, but now, I've lensrolled it to all four of my writing lenses. Congrats, Lisa!

    • Springbok LM profile image

      Springbok LM 7 years ago

      Someone further down your list said this lens would be featured one day and they were right. Your reward are earth based it seems based on this lens of your touching account of life's tribulations. We all weave a tapestry with different challenges. Keep lens building your great at it and thank you

    • jptanabe profile image

      Jennifer P Tanabe 7 years ago from Red Hook, NY

      Congrats on your well-deserved LotD!

    • profile image

      happynutritionist 7 years ago

      What a powerful story...I've read it word for word, and appreciate your open-ness and honesty. Challenges in life can destroy...or be the source of our greatest transformations. For you, it sounds like your difficulties have been a great turning point. Congratulations on a very well deserved LOTD. God bless you and keep you in His care.

    • profile image

      soaringsis 7 years ago

      Your lens is inspiring, keep up the good work. Congrats. on your LOTD

    • Judy Goldsberry profile image

      Judy Goldsberry 7 years ago

      So happy that you have Squidoo, it is a wonderful invention and opportunity for us all.

    • Violin-Student profile image

      Violin-Student 7 years ago

      Great page here. We've all got reasons for being here. Thanks for sharing yours.

      Art Haule

    • Retro Loco profile image

      Vicki 7 years ago from USA

      Hi Lisa, congratulations on LOTD!! You seem like an amazing person. I have had some similar experiences, so my heart really goes out to you. Keep that chin up, stay positive & focused & keep moving forward, and you will achieve all your dreams. I hope you will visit me some time! :-) Take care. ~Vicki~

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Congratulations on lens of the day :)

    • ajgodinho profile image

      Anthony Godinho 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Wow, that's a lot to go through for anyone ~ things do happen for a reason and from it comes strength and new opportunities to grow and reach new heights. Thanks for sharing your encouraging and inspiring story and I wish you much success! Congrats on LOTD...well-deserved! :)

    • onlinebusiness11 profile image

      onlinebusiness11 7 years ago

      Great!

    • HtCares profile image

      HtCares 7 years ago

      Thanks for sharing your story. it's very touching. Congratulations on LOTD...it was well deserved!

    • kimmie1967 profile image

      kimmie1967 7 years ago

      This is a wonderful lens and really deserves LOTD! Thank you for sharing your story. I know how difficult it can be to share your life stories with others so I really admire you being able to do this lens.

    • profile image

      doubleside lm 7 years ago

      Congrats for the LOTD!,

      Very touching lens,

    • profile image

      AdriennePetersen 7 years ago

      Great lens, congrats on LOTD!

    • MTLwordsmith profile image

      MTLwordsmith 7 years ago

      Your story is so touching - I'm so glad you've found a place you can express yourself and be rewarded for your efforts.

    • PRam1 profile image

      PRam1 7 years ago

      Very unique. One of the best lenses I have read. Congratulations!

    • indigoj profile image

      Indigo Janson 7 years ago from UK

      Reading this, it's clear that you have been on a very rough road indeed but I also get the impression you have come through it stronger. And yes, you are still bubbly and great at cheering us all up here online and never would I have guessed at all the trials and physical pain. Lens of the Day... yes and very well deserved too.. but you are not just lensmaster of the day, you've got staying power! ;)

    • profile image

      MorningBlessings 7 years ago

      Thank you for sharing your story...sometimes that is hard to do and sometimes it is great therapy to share. You are brave for doing so. Thanks again

    • thepartyanimal2 profile image

      thepartyanimal2 7 years ago

      WoW, Now that was a great read - Congrats on LOTD - well deserved

    • PaulWinter profile image

      PaulWinter 7 years ago

      Congratulations on writing the lens of the day. It is well deserve.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Congratulations on LOTD, well deserved. I am sure that in writing about your own story you are helping others in similar situations, and I am happy to hear that Squidoo has helped you through the process towards a calmer and healthier life.

    • Wednesday-Elf profile image

      Wednesday-Elf 7 years ago from Savannah, Georgia

      Wow, Lisa -- I read your story earlier, but had to come back to congratulate you on having it selected for LOTD. Wonderful!

    • profile image

      huvalbd 7 years ago

      I hope you will carry on with Squidoo. You are obviously a fine contributor here! And who knows what else it may lead to?

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      great lens

    • investorconscio profile image

      investorconscio 7 years ago

      Excellent lens.

    • profile image

      GiftsBonanza 7 years ago

      Congratulations on your LOTD - well deserved :)

    • Grasmere Sue profile image

      Sue Dixon 7 years ago from Grasmere, Cumbria, UK

      Congratulations Lisa for writing this great lens, and for getting LOTD. I didn't vote in the poll, as I think is so much depends on chance who your doctor is and what their attitude to drugs is. We've seen how "rich and famous peolpe" who presumably can buy the best health care still get on the wrong track.

      You sound so positive now- and you bring a smile to lots of us too. Thanks for sharing and good luck with the tribunal result.

    • TheresaMarkham profile image

      TheresaMarkham 7 years ago

      2 years for an orthopedic surgeon?!! Where do you live?! Wonderful lens :)

    • moskit profile image

      moskit 7 years ago

      Thank you for your personal story of adversity. Difficult times in our lives can either destroy us or make us stronger. You opted for the later path.

      Im glad you found your way

    • Elle-Dee-Esse profile image

      Lynne Schroeder 7 years ago from Blue Mountains Australia

      Congratulations on LOTD! Well deserved.

    • CozyKitty profile image

      CozyKitty 7 years ago

      It's so good to know that you're well on your way to recovery, Lisa. It takes courage and strength to share a story with such a deep personal involvement. Thanks so much for sharing, and Congrats on LotD! You'll always have plenty of support from your fellow lensmasters ...

      ;-)

    • rachsue lm profile image

      rachsue lm 7 years ago

      Congratulations on the LOTD. Very much deserved for sharing such a story. Thank you for sharing your story.

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Thank you for sharing such a personal story, congratulations on your Lens of the Day, it was most deserving.

    • NanaPoppins LM profile image

      NanaPoppins LM 7 years ago

      Congratulations on LoTD!!

    working