"Why Men Or Women Do Not Marry When The Woman Gets Pregnant?"

In today's society people are going to have babies. Frankly, I believe that a woman should have an abortion, ONLY where she was raped, or the pregnancy threatens the mothers life, or the baby is deformed or the baby will have some EXTREME physical or mental limitations.

Since I have said all of that I thought this would be an interesting hub to write based on this topic, "Why Men Or Women Do Not Marry When The Woman Gets Pregnant?"

There are so many reasons and circumstances that affect both the man and woman, when the woman becomes pregnant.

Here are just some of the reasons listed below pertinent to: "Why Men Or Women Do Not Marry When The Woman Gets Pregnant?"

*There are men who reject the thought that the child his woman is carrying, is their child

**NOTE** A lot of men and women find themselves in situations where they question who is the mother or the father of the child or the baby. I often hear men talking about they did not wear a condom, or the man, nor the woman, did not use any contraception. If you are not intending on being a part of that person's life, especially the child's, then you should not be having unprotected sex!!! No questions or excuses.

NOTE****I also can't leave the women out, who may have multiple partners that she is having unprotected sex with as well. DO NOT HAVE Unprotected SEX with multiple partners, because if you become pregnant, you will not know who the father is of your child, unless you have a paternity or DNA test performed, and those are very expensive.

*The woman who is pregnant, may not want to have anything to do with the prospective father of the child that she is carrying

*Some men do not take responsibility for their actions, and do not provide financial or emotional support for the woman he has gotten pregnant

Some women, may not know who the father is of their child

NOTE*****Then, there are some men who have multiple women pregnant, while it is hard enough just to be available to give support to one woman, it is definitely, an unimaginable task to provide support for multiple pregnant women.

*The woman while pregnant, experiences hormonal changes, emotional rages, along with bouts of depression, that may drive the man away.

*I also believe that some men are mentally affected by the overwhelming emotions that arise, by struggling to accept that their mate is carry their child

**NOTE** Men, do not use this as an excuse for you to distance yourself from your mate, who is carrying your child, this is when you should be the closest to her, even though, she might be emotional, or have mood swings during the pregnancy, DO NOT Disrespect your mate, who is carrying your child!!

The miracle of life is very amazing.

I take the entire concept of bringing another human into this crazy world, a very serious matter. I often hear men bragging about a man being the major component of conception.

Really, Seriously? I totally disagree, the main component, is the woman, without the woman, there is no conception, and no child, the game is so over! Granted, it takes two to tango!! A male and a female.

*Yes, there are men and there are some women, who do not even have a clue, what is required for him or her to be accountable for their mate, when they are expecting a child. I could not knowingly be with a woman, where I knew I did not have a future with her, or a hand with respect to raising a child.

**Some women or even some men believe that he or she can rear their child without any support from his or her mate, and there is not a need for them to get married.

*Some women would just prefer to have a sperm donor

*Some men do not have the ability to support the woman or women he has gotten pregnant.

*There are some men who will knowingly for whatever reasons, not provide the woman who is carrying their child with the support that they need. Some men, will even leave the pregnant woman alone, and wonder why, once their woman has delivered the baby, that the woman will not give the man visitation rights to the child.(DUH!)

Granted, in defense of some men, the woman will delay contacting the man to inform him that she is pregnant, that makes it very difficult for the man to react quickly, if he doesn't know or if he found out in the fourth quarter with two minutes left in the game(using a sport analogy here LOL), that the woman is carrying their child too.

My suggestion to any man, is to do whatever you can for that child, whether the mother or your woman approves it or not. If you know the woman who carried your child, needs help with that child, it is the man's responsibility to pull his load. What I find interesting is co-parenting, and I wont even touch on that in this hub, because this hub is so lengthy as it is, if I added co-parenting to this hub, it would be so very long indeed.

Once that child has reached maturity, where the child understands that his or her parents can not co-exist together in the same home, or must live separate lives. It does not matter to me, if the mother or the father of that child or children steps up to be an active role model and parent for that child or children.

If two parents cannot co-exist for that child, then they must learn to shed the bitterness or whatever it is that drove them apart, because the child or children becomes the victims of all that bitterness and mess, that contributed to the parents separating as a family unit.

My biggest concern, is for the child's well being, mentally and physical well being. So, please for your child or children's sake, learn to bury the hatchet, and be an active role model for your offspring.

*NOTE* That's why contemplating having children, or raising them, is a HUGE undertaking and responsibility. No doubt it is rewarding, but both the man and the woman, must share the responsibilities of raising a child or children.

Here's a stat for you. There are roughly ten (10) million single mothers in the world today, and I believe this is not an accurate number, I believe this stat is a lot higher. This at least, gives men and women in our society something to think about.

Granted, getting married just because the woman is pregnant is a noble gesture, but if you do not love the woman that you have gotten pregnant, go and read my hub pertaining to getting married in our society today.

*Do not ever use your baby as a pawn or use the baby as an excuse to mentally torture the man or the woman in your life. Depending on who has custody of the baby, know why you are denying your mate access to his or her child.

*Do not have unprotected sex with a person, that you know will not be accountable in your life, and DO NOT HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, if you are arguing in your relationship with your mate, it's as simple as that in a nutshell.

How many times, have you seen people that you know separate or breakup with their mate, and the next news that person receives from their ex mate, is that the woman is pregnant, then that's when things become very, very interesting in their lives, to say the least.

I have heard where men and women use protection and their ex still gets pregnant, that is something that just literally boggles my mind. You use protection and she still gets pregnant, because the protection failed or statistics just catch up with you as well. The reality is that protection will occasionally fail, yet personally I would rather use it than not use it. What is that saying that is used, "choose your poison."

Yet, there are times when a woman if she wants to keep a man that does not want to keep her, the woman will tamper with the protection and there are men who will intentionally attempt to get their ex pregnant too. So, learn to be wise and aware.

Being legally separated or apart, may solve the issues between a man and a woman, but I would have to believe that it scars the child. A child needs the love that he or she or they saw when both parents showed that they loved each other, and their off spring feeds off that too.

*Do not pretend that you love the person, and do not contemplate that your mate feelings will change, or your mate will love you, when the child is born, you maybe setting yourself up for huge let down or failure.

*A few men lose interest in the woman he has gotten pregnant, because most men do not like their mate gaining weight, or the fact that his woman's body undergoes some physical changes, such as weight gain.

Some men just do not have a clue, that the woman's body will change, because she is carrying child. All women who are pregnant do not experience huge physical changes, but those who do experience physical changes, can exercise to lose the extra weight gained during their pregnancy.

Think about the times, a woman has her cycle or period, and some women become bloated. I have seen or heard men say very insensitive comments about a woman being bloated during her cycle. So, imaging when a woman body changes slightly during her cycle, imagine what happens when she becomes pregnant.

I do not know everything that occurs in a woman's body and her mind, when she is pregnant, because I'm not a woman, but the woman has all of my respect and compassion when it comes to carrying a child. The woman has to deal with the flood of the hormone driven emotions, while riding and enduring a pre pregnancy and post pregnancy emotional roller-coaster ride.

Then, once the child is born, for those women entering back in the workforce, that has to be a huge adjustment, before and after the woman's initial pregnancy.

Do not bring a child or children into this world. if the baby is not going to have a mother and father in the child's life. One of the things that I see each and everyday, is women and men alike, trying so hard to raise a baby by themselves.

I always seem to hear mostly women saying, " I don't need a man to raise my child or children." Granted, a woman can raise her offspring by herself in the world today. I do not believe it is logical or practical for a woman to do it alone, but that is my personal perspective.

I don't enjoy seeing single parents raising their offspring alone, and I do not enjoy seeing a child without both parents. We live in a cruel world, and to be alone with your offspring as a single parent, is just declaring hardship on yourself and your offspring. If the woman can reconcile with the woman's biological father, then do it.

I also become very saddened, by seeing children abandoned, abused, even murdered, and those children did not ask to be conceived into this world. Yet there are people who will bring a baby into the world, only to abuse it, or not provide it with the love and nurturing that a baby requires in this crazy world.

Ask yourself a very important question. Why would you want to bring or conceive a child into this world, that you cannot financially support or love? That does not mean that when you find out you are pregnant, that you run and have an abortion. Be responsible, and understand the consequences, and be proactive, when it comes to your actions.

Just remember that women have to endure so much emotional and physical hardship and distress during pregnancy, and to a certain degree, so do men, who contributed to the women being pregnant. Just remember bringing children into this world is a huge responsibility, it takes two to tango. So keep that in mind....