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30 Struggles of the ISFJ

Updated on June 20, 2017
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Andrea loves to write on the zodiac, Myers Briggs, and texting. She is an expert on romance and relationships. She also has two cats.

Listening to Your Inner Voice

The wonderful ISFJ. Its the martyr of the Myers Briggs personality test. It's dominated by introverted sensing and guided by extroverted feeling.The ISFJ either likes you, or couldn't care less, but when they like you... they'll move mountains for you. They are a built in machine to be the perfect spouse and parent. Their traditional values coupled with their great built in understanding system (albeit slightly sensitive and prone to anxiety) makes for a great person capable of just about any obstacle. The ISFJ tends to be an attractive, knowledgable, and warm hearted person. Sometimes they're cold like ice as they develop their feelers (or after a break up and their feelers get all confused). But for the most part, expect warmth, diligence, and lots of baked goods.

What is an Introvert?

Introverted sensors tend to be knowledgable on how their body feels. They are excellent at meditation, cooking, physical work, dancing, and athletics. Introverted sensors are in tune with feeling each part of their body, figuring out what energy they need, and also what is soul sucking. They sometimes get addicted to coffee or alcohol, or even physical activity. Sometimes introverted sensors put themselves down because they don't feel as sharp as other personalities. The ISFJ is particularly prone to this as having a feeling oriented personality. The ISFJ doesn't care much for patterns or sprawling theory -- that might bore them -- but they do love when people bring are in their lives. This is one of the most warm hearted introverts in the entire Myers Briggs world. The ISFJ almost feels like an ESFJ if a vampire came by and sucked out the ESFJ's extroversion. The ISFJ can also feel like an INFJ, until you start giving it too many random, abstract things and it gets overwhelmed by it. The ISFJ does well with SJ personalities and NF personalities. If people get too serious for the ISFJ, it might come off as a turn off. The ISFJ cares about the emotional texture of a room. They want people to be happy, so they may spruce up a place with flowers, scented soap, classical music, or comfy yet aesthetically pleasing furniture. The ISFJ has a deep seated love for hospitality. They will want to cook for you, have your bed ready, and extra shampoo if you stay over at their home.

ISFJ has a lot of goals that relate to other humans. The ISFJ may want to take their career places, or other creative pursuits, but traditionally and ISFJ wants to find a perfect soulmate and raise a number of sharp, wonderful people to go out into the world. It's the perfect nurturing personality; which can on occasion make it vulnerable to people taking advantage of its natural giftings. A happy ISFJ is one that is also nurtured and pampered and isn't the only one heavy in the kitchen. An ISFJ wants to make their family happy, going forward, and safe in the giant world of too many things happening all at once.

The Struggles

1. Getting mistyped as an ISTJ and people thinking your anal about things you don't care for in the slightest.

2. Being a goofball but people thinking you're serious or grumpy.

3. Feeling inadequate -- like the people around you are smarter, better, or more equipped. A strange itching sense of insecurity.

4. Not giving a damn about board games; you just want to have fun, but everyone else is being so serious.

5. You really like people, want to support them, and will do anything for them -- but you're not sure if the love is returned.

6. You may get paranoid of someone without fully knowing the situation. You have trouble developing your intuition, which can make for bouts of paranoia.

7. ISFJ has issues developing anxiety. Unable to shake off feelings of impending disaster.

8. Having an amazing love of clean aesthetics, and also being disturbed easily if it is broken.

9. May come across as rigid, inflexible or even cold and uncaring to others, without being aware of it.... I thought I was coming off warm, but I guess it appears grumpy?

10. You are a storm cloud of emotions.

11. An ISFJ may feel threatened if their external world is attacked or changed and this may cause them to shutdown.

12. The ISFJ loathes spending time with people they don't like.

13. Sometimes an ISFJ is so focused on the people they love that they neglect to take care of their own needs... which can result in sudden flared up emotion, or needing extra long naps.

14. An ISFJ may get so customized to the familiar that its difficult to branch out into something new.

15. Too much conflict in a room can make an ISFJ feel overwhelmed and unsure how to resolve the situation to satisfy their needs. They want to love everybody.

16. They may have extreme difficulty leaving a bad relationship because they don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.

17. And when they actually commit to leaving the horror fest.... they may have a hard time moving on from their bad relationship. They may linger on thoughts of what could have helped to make it better among other thoughts.

18. An ISFJ has intense feelings, but they might not broadcast this at the beginning of a relationship because they don't want to scare you away. They really want you to like them.

19. The ISFJ should encourage themselves to express their feelings daily rather than build them up and spray them out like a hose -- and end up saying things they didn't mean.

20. The ISFJ's natural mates are ESFP and ESTP which can be naturally deceiving personalities if not matured correctly.

21. Introverted, yes, but not as extremely introverted as others. The ISFJ is like the INFJ in that they're more social introverts... which can get confusing by its very nature.

22. ISFJ crave stability so much that it can be a crutch. Sometimes the ISFJ could grow more by pushing itself, but it can bring up anxiety for them.

23. An ISFJ may be prone to holding a grudge. It might be easier to hold a grudge than forgive and end up getting taken advantage again by the same person.

24. The ISFJ may struggle to release its sadness and find it easier to do this by itself... and in return their partner might be confused as to what is the real emotional state of the person they love.

25. The ISFJ might not talk about some of their favorite interests, which they have a lot, because they're unsure if they'll fit in with others. They may be quiet about their favorite authors, movies, and toys because they would prefer to make you happy and hear what you have to say.

26. This personality may hide in exercise to cover up emotional pains that they have.

27. The ISFJ may have sudden bouts of insecurity based on relationships because of things that happened to it in the past. They don't always have the intuition to help them see past certain congested areas of life.

28. The ISFJ may continue to do the same thing over and over to fail because they can't see the bigger picture of what they're doing wrong.

29. The ISFJ may come off secretive, but that was never their intention.

30. The ISFJ may spend extra hours cleaning after others and are not sure how to bring it up without hurting your feelings.

Above all, regardless of the struggles, ISFJ personalities are kind and considerate. They are lovers at heart. They are hard working, eager to please, and keep themselves clean and healthy. They make sure to keep a home looking pretty and they love to hear from you. They're great listeners with massive, beautiful hearts. Having an ISFJ in your life can make you feel more complete and ready to take on the world. They are eager to help, love, and be there for you. They are committed and nurturing souls, often holding judgment, and instead being merciful. They make great parents, friends, and spouses. Relationally, they are the queens and kings we wish we could all be.


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